The middle way
I went on my first class outing in Cegep!! My history teacher made us go to the old port to visit some American stuff (it's an American history class). Even though he's at an old age, my history teacher is really cool ^^ I went to the old port several times, but it was really as if we were tourists in our own city. xD I learned a lot about interesting architectural stuff. Did you know Canada has a thing about doors? The gift we gave the UN building was the front doors cuz we have a good door designer. xD We once stopped at this McDonalds o.o Apparently, it was where Cadillac (an explorer) lived before. The teacher even led us into the place... the customers were so freaked at this group of 40 students, lol. Anyways.
"If you believe you can end an important romantic relationship by immediately becoming "just friends", a piece of advice would be to forget this idea. When the romantic commitment that underlies a loving relationship dies, it almost always takes time for the person who feels "dumped" to recover his or her balance."
"The longer you put off facing the pain, the more difficult that pain will be to deal with."
Ah la la. And I only learn this now ^^; Ah well, perhaps I needed time to realize that.
Actively taking care of myself. Here we go =)
Things that I've always wanted to do but never did (that I can think of right now, hmmm... *thinks thinks thinks*):
-learn painting/take painting lessons, so I can paint in nature
-learn how to do flower arrangements (remember my techno project?)
-go to Taiwan to shop and eat like crazy and visit my family's foggy mountain that's so blurry in my memories
-visit China, Japan, Europe, etc
-learn how to make cakes *miam*
-redecorate my room
-learn how to play the erhu
-get a dog
Okay, so choosing one only for now... The ones that seem that I really want right now, and that are possible, are learning painting and flower arranging... I want to learn both!! >< Maybe I will do both, but one after the other, for the sake of my wallet, lol... Taking floral art lessons seems really really cool o.o Ever since my techno project in sec 3, I've always wanted to take lessons on how to do oriental flower arrangements. Actually, my interest comes from when I was like 4-5 years old in Taiwan, and my mom was taking lessons of floral art, and I remember going to attend her lessons and finding it so cool =3 Yeah, I think I'll start by taking floral arrangement lessons! If I can't find any for now, maybe I'll take painting first. Mm, yeah. It'll be so awesome =DD *already goes searching for possible places*
I've restarted reading Hikaru no Go!!! ^.^ I'm sooo addicted, yet I'm in my final crazy 2 weeks filled with an exam/essay everyday > < I wub Sai.... he's just too lovable <33 I remember I actually cried when he died/left T_T (yes yes, I cry at emotional scenes in books/mangas/dramas ^^;;;)
Ever seen a girl who does essay correcting in a park? Well, that was me with my piles of essays today =p
Sushi~ <3
Hmm. I've been having a lot of headaches lately, whenever I'm tired. It's weird, cuz I was never a headache person before. I wonder if it's because I'm missing a vitamin or something. Maybe I'm too stressed? @@
I must sleep more instead of relying on naps. Aim: 7 hours or more per night, so that my sleep schedule isn't so messed up.
Stress, anxiety and worry
Stress has become the ‘IT’ word of the century. Because the word stress has become so overused, we appear to be indifferent to it, or perhaps we don’t fully understand the meaning of what it is or how its effects relate to our health (both mental and physical).
Stress protects you. In the appropriate situation, it is a wonderful and amazing thing. If you need to sing or speak in public, you may also experience stress. Stress in these situations can be very helpful as it brings about a heightened mental alertness and increased energy. Appropriate stress is a good thing; it simply means that your reserve tank is being used for emergency purposes.
Prolonged Stress
However, we eventually get to the point where we become indifferent to the stress. Many people live with extreme stress every day, but no longer recognize or respond to it. These people feel normal because the stress has become a habit.
If stress is left unchecked, it will eat away at you over time and will certainly become a problem. The first sign of stress is usually tiredness. Others include: lack of motivation, fuzzy thinking, not wanting to leave the house or staying in bed, headaches and muscular aches, food cravings or not eating, small things becoming very annoying, feeling great impatience, insomnia or nightmares, or over-doing caffeine, nicotine or alcohol.
Fear and worry are the most insidious and constant forms of stress. The most important thing to know about them is, that to your sub-conscious mind the fears are real.
When you are deep in thought, your mind is processing information visually and emotionally. The sub-conscious merely records and files information. If same or similar information keeps coming in, the brain will consider this information to be important. It may also consider it to be true.
The mind will create emotional or physical reactions to information. Take as an example when you are watching a thriller or horror movie. Your conscious mind knows it’s a movie, but your sub-conscious does not. Your heart begins to pound, your breathing becomes fast or shallow, and you may experience goose-bumps or even scream. This is because your mind is processing this information as if it were real.
These examples show how fear and worry will have you believing that imagined events are real. How often are you putting your emotions and physical responses into living and experiencing things that are not really happening?
When you lie in bed at night worrying about bills and debt, your emotional world is actually living in poverty.
The interesting things about fear and worry are our ability to exaggerate and expand them. We rarely exaggerate and expand good things, yet at the slightest suggestion of something negative, off we go!
Consider this: Someone at your office mentions that they have heard a rumour that there may be staff cutbacks. You go back to your desk and start thinking, “I bet it’s me”. You imagine telling your family that you have lost your job. You imagine getting behind in the mortgage and losing your home. You imagine your marriage suffering and taking the kids out of school. Your mind starts up a conversation with your family and you’re totally lost in an argument inside your head.
The Chattering Monkey
The “chattering monkey” sits on your shoulder and chatters non-stop in your ear. This is the ‘head conversation’ we have while driving the car or lying in bed at night. The chattering monkey takes a slight negative remark and engages your mind in a long discussion with amazing exaggeration. The chattering monkey will always convince you of the absolute worst possible outcome to the slightest problem. We all do it, and we all do it a lot.
Take a 30 minute drive on your own and I’ll bet you are often oblivious to much of the journey, because in that time you are engaged in a conversation with the chattering monkey.
Imagine if the chattering monkey worked on positive thoughts. Imagine if we would exaggerate good things the way we do with negative things. Imagine driving along thinking, "I am really loved and everyone I know respects, admires and supports me".
Unfortunately, we do not do this. Consider spending the next week observing your own chattering monkey. See how easy it is to engage in head conversations that are extremely exaggerated when they are negative and watch how rarely we do the same with positive remarks.
Talking with the chattering monkey is probably the most stressful thing we do because it’s a habit and it’s constant. I would guess that the number one cause of depression and anxiety is the chattering monkey. This is because he takes small problems and allows the mind to exaggerate them into the worst possible scenario.
You will rarely have situations in your real life that come anywhere close to the imagined horrors your thoughts can create and maintain. Can you imagine how healthy, happy, and productive you could be if you just killed the chattering monkey?
It’s Natural for Parents to Worry
No, it is not always natural, it can be neurotic and counter productive. Worry has no solution factor at all and it cannot fix or prevent things from happening. Sometimes, we seem to believe that if we are not worrying about the success and safety of our children then we may be unloving or ineffective parents. It’s almost as if we are superstitious about the amount of worry being equivalent to the amount of care that we give. Your child’s safety, success, happiness and health have everything to do with the examples that you set. Your fear, worry, and stress may also be the examples that you are setting. Your constant warnings of danger are more likely to create fear in your child and greatly impede their sense of security and self-confidence. You may also find that your constant ‘doom and gloom’ will close them down to such a degree that they tune out to everything that you say. Mental stability, logical and rational reasoning, education, optimism and a life well lived are what make children safe and successful.
So, what’s the answer?
Life without stress can be bland to insipid, but too much stress can kill you. Even if you’re young and in good health, the pressure of too many stressful events can lead to highly dangerous escapist behaviour. These “escapes” will afford you little real relief from the pressures you face.
If you find yourself facing too many big stressful events in your life, it’s time to put yourself on a strict stress budget. Put off changing jobs or moving, at least for a while. Let things settle down in your life before you can take on more challenges.
It’s dead easy to minimize prolonged stress -- nothing hard or complicated at all. You may find it a little difficult to be consistent. Habits take time and attention. That’s all that stress is - a habit. Maybe a hundred times a day you will be pulled back into your old habits. So, be prepared to be tenacious and simply pull yourself up and re-direct your thoughts every time you drift back.
Apart from avoiding negative thoughts, you need to replace them with new thoughts. In a short time, you can actually re-wire your thinking to take in positive instructions. Remember, the thoughts that you have will create the emotions and responses you that have.
Relaxation exercises are one of the most effective ways to reduce stress. Be sure to pursue health and wellness as vigorously as you can by eating right and exercising.
"If you believe you can end an important romantic relationship by immediately becoming "just friends", a piece of advice would be to forget this idea. When the romantic commitment that underlies a loving relationship dies, it almost always takes time for the person who feels "dumped" to recover his or her balance."
"The longer you put off facing the pain, the more difficult that pain will be to deal with."
Ah la la. And I only learn this now ^^; Ah well, perhaps I needed time to realize that.
Actively taking care of myself. Here we go =)
Things that I've always wanted to do but never did (that I can think of right now, hmmm... *thinks thinks thinks*):
-learn painting/take painting lessons, so I can paint in nature
-learn how to do flower arrangements (remember my techno project?)
-go to Taiwan to shop and eat like crazy and visit my family's foggy mountain that's so blurry in my memories
-visit China, Japan, Europe, etc
-learn how to make cakes *miam*
-redecorate my room
-learn how to play the erhu
-get a dog
Okay, so choosing one only for now... The ones that seem that I really want right now, and that are possible, are learning painting and flower arranging... I want to learn both!! >< Maybe I will do both, but one after the other, for the sake of my wallet, lol... Taking floral art lessons seems really really cool o.o Ever since my techno project in sec 3, I've always wanted to take lessons on how to do oriental flower arrangements. Actually, my interest comes from when I was like 4-5 years old in Taiwan, and my mom was taking lessons of floral art, and I remember going to attend her lessons and finding it so cool =3 Yeah, I think I'll start by taking floral arrangement lessons! If I can't find any for now, maybe I'll take painting first. Mm, yeah. It'll be so awesome =DD *already goes searching for possible places*
I've restarted reading Hikaru no Go!!! ^.^ I'm sooo addicted, yet I'm in my final crazy 2 weeks filled with an exam/essay everyday > < I wub Sai.... he's just too lovable <33 I remember I actually cried when he died/left T_T (yes yes, I cry at emotional scenes in books/mangas/dramas ^^;;;)
Ever seen a girl who does essay correcting in a park? Well, that was me with my piles of essays today =p
Sushi~ <3
Hmm. I've been having a lot of headaches lately, whenever I'm tired. It's weird, cuz I was never a headache person before. I wonder if it's because I'm missing a vitamin or something. Maybe I'm too stressed? @@
I must sleep more instead of relying on naps. Aim: 7 hours or more per night, so that my sleep schedule isn't so messed up.
Stress, anxiety and worry
Stress has become the ‘IT’ word of the century. Because the word stress has become so overused, we appear to be indifferent to it, or perhaps we don’t fully understand the meaning of what it is or how its effects relate to our health (both mental and physical).
Stress protects you. In the appropriate situation, it is a wonderful and amazing thing. If you need to sing or speak in public, you may also experience stress. Stress in these situations can be very helpful as it brings about a heightened mental alertness and increased energy. Appropriate stress is a good thing; it simply means that your reserve tank is being used for emergency purposes.
Prolonged Stress
However, we eventually get to the point where we become indifferent to the stress. Many people live with extreme stress every day, but no longer recognize or respond to it. These people feel normal because the stress has become a habit.
If stress is left unchecked, it will eat away at you over time and will certainly become a problem. The first sign of stress is usually tiredness. Others include: lack of motivation, fuzzy thinking, not wanting to leave the house or staying in bed, headaches and muscular aches, food cravings or not eating, small things becoming very annoying, feeling great impatience, insomnia or nightmares, or over-doing caffeine, nicotine or alcohol.
Fear and worry are the most insidious and constant forms of stress. The most important thing to know about them is, that to your sub-conscious mind the fears are real.
When you are deep in thought, your mind is processing information visually and emotionally. The sub-conscious merely records and files information. If same or similar information keeps coming in, the brain will consider this information to be important. It may also consider it to be true.
The mind will create emotional or physical reactions to information. Take as an example when you are watching a thriller or horror movie. Your conscious mind knows it’s a movie, but your sub-conscious does not. Your heart begins to pound, your breathing becomes fast or shallow, and you may experience goose-bumps or even scream. This is because your mind is processing this information as if it were real.
These examples show how fear and worry will have you believing that imagined events are real. How often are you putting your emotions and physical responses into living and experiencing things that are not really happening?
When you lie in bed at night worrying about bills and debt, your emotional world is actually living in poverty.
The interesting things about fear and worry are our ability to exaggerate and expand them. We rarely exaggerate and expand good things, yet at the slightest suggestion of something negative, off we go!
Consider this: Someone at your office mentions that they have heard a rumour that there may be staff cutbacks. You go back to your desk and start thinking, “I bet it’s me”. You imagine telling your family that you have lost your job. You imagine getting behind in the mortgage and losing your home. You imagine your marriage suffering and taking the kids out of school. Your mind starts up a conversation with your family and you’re totally lost in an argument inside your head.
The Chattering Monkey
The “chattering monkey” sits on your shoulder and chatters non-stop in your ear. This is the ‘head conversation’ we have while driving the car or lying in bed at night. The chattering monkey takes a slight negative remark and engages your mind in a long discussion with amazing exaggeration. The chattering monkey will always convince you of the absolute worst possible outcome to the slightest problem. We all do it, and we all do it a lot.
Take a 30 minute drive on your own and I’ll bet you are often oblivious to much of the journey, because in that time you are engaged in a conversation with the chattering monkey.
Imagine if the chattering monkey worked on positive thoughts. Imagine if we would exaggerate good things the way we do with negative things. Imagine driving along thinking, "I am really loved and everyone I know respects, admires and supports me".
Unfortunately, we do not do this. Consider spending the next week observing your own chattering monkey. See how easy it is to engage in head conversations that are extremely exaggerated when they are negative and watch how rarely we do the same with positive remarks.
Talking with the chattering monkey is probably the most stressful thing we do because it’s a habit and it’s constant. I would guess that the number one cause of depression and anxiety is the chattering monkey. This is because he takes small problems and allows the mind to exaggerate them into the worst possible scenario.
You will rarely have situations in your real life that come anywhere close to the imagined horrors your thoughts can create and maintain. Can you imagine how healthy, happy, and productive you could be if you just killed the chattering monkey?
It’s Natural for Parents to Worry
No, it is not always natural, it can be neurotic and counter productive. Worry has no solution factor at all and it cannot fix or prevent things from happening. Sometimes, we seem to believe that if we are not worrying about the success and safety of our children then we may be unloving or ineffective parents. It’s almost as if we are superstitious about the amount of worry being equivalent to the amount of care that we give. Your child’s safety, success, happiness and health have everything to do with the examples that you set. Your fear, worry, and stress may also be the examples that you are setting. Your constant warnings of danger are more likely to create fear in your child and greatly impede their sense of security and self-confidence. You may also find that your constant ‘doom and gloom’ will close them down to such a degree that they tune out to everything that you say. Mental stability, logical and rational reasoning, education, optimism and a life well lived are what make children safe and successful.
So, what’s the answer?
Life without stress can be bland to insipid, but too much stress can kill you. Even if you’re young and in good health, the pressure of too many stressful events can lead to highly dangerous escapist behaviour. These “escapes” will afford you little real relief from the pressures you face.
If you find yourself facing too many big stressful events in your life, it’s time to put yourself on a strict stress budget. Put off changing jobs or moving, at least for a while. Let things settle down in your life before you can take on more challenges.
It’s dead easy to minimize prolonged stress -- nothing hard or complicated at all. You may find it a little difficult to be consistent. Habits take time and attention. That’s all that stress is - a habit. Maybe a hundred times a day you will be pulled back into your old habits. So, be prepared to be tenacious and simply pull yourself up and re-direct your thoughts every time you drift back.
Apart from avoiding negative thoughts, you need to replace them with new thoughts. In a short time, you can actually re-wire your thinking to take in positive instructions. Remember, the thoughts that you have will create the emotions and responses you that have.
Relaxation exercises are one of the most effective ways to reduce stress. Be sure to pursue health and wellness as vigorously as you can by eating right and exercising.