Immortal love - oneshot
I wasn't expecting to post so soon, but this just came out of nowhere and I just had to write it. Of course it's my first sex scene and I hope you like it. There's a reason why it's not more graphic, I hope you like it none the less. You can read it without knowing anything about shinto or Japanese history, but I'm gonna give some explanation none the less.
I'd love your comments.
Authour: yukigafuru
Pairing : Gackt X You
Genre : Romance, slight angst
Rating : PG-15 to R
Disclaimer : I am in no way connected to either Gackt or You
Summary : What happens when a mortal and a god fall in love?
Immortal love
This story traces its beginnings long, long time ago, in an age where mortals still believed and worshiped the gods of the land.
Yamato (1) was a small land, recently formed and it's growth in recent times was due entirely to their queen, Himiko. She was the descendant of the most powerful goddess, Amaterasu (2) and her powers were infinite. Under her rule, the land flourished and the people were happy. Himiko even maintained contact with the great rulers that resided in the west of the world, sent and received embassies from them, a place called Lang'an (3). But the people didn't really care about all that. They respected the gods and their queen, did as she ordered, and usually lived happy, happier than ever before.
But when Himiko(4) died, the world plunged into chaos. No one seemed suitable to take the throne and without the queen performing the agrarian rituals, the crops went bad and people started dying. Soon enough, disease plagued the land. No matter how much the people prayed or offered sacrifices, the gods did not take pity on them.
It was during these times that in one little village in the eastern part of Yamato, a 12 years old boy lost his parents to disease and so lost every single means of survival. He had no other relatives or connections. His family had always been poor so no one even bothered to pay any attention to whether they lived or died. So the boy was faced with only one possibility: death. The problem is he was still too young and lacked the courage or skill to kill himself so he took his decision: he would climb the mountain and face the wrath of the mountain's god (5). He would surely die then, he thought, especially since the god of the forbidden mountain next to his village was known for his bad temper. Every 2-3 hundred years, the god would show his fury and the mountain would explode and ash and black fire come out and destroy everything in its way. The boy truly hoped that this time the god's wrath would just release itself on him.
So he went into the forest, and unnoticed by no one, began his voyage towards death.
He walked and walked and nothing happened and then night came and too hungry and tired to continue he slumped on the ground and fell fast asleep. In the morning, when he woke up, next to him lay some fish and fruit and a bowl of water. The boy was so surprised he could do nothing for a few minutes but stare at the food and then his instincts took over and he quickly ate everything. Did that mean that the god was not mad with him, but accepted him, even wanted him there? The boy couldn't allow himself to believe that. No one had ever wanted him. So he resumed his walk.
But no matter how many days passed, the god would not punish him and when he thought a beautiful spring that passed through a clearing in the forest and fruit trees growing close, and to his greater surprise, a cave near by, the boy finally decided to just live there for as long as the god allowed him to.
And days and years passed. The boy became twenty and beautiful. And he still hadn't met the god. During all this time though, even during winter, he knew he had received help from the being since he couldn't have survived otherwise and although he knew he probably should go back to his village, something inside him told him he should not leave the god alone.
So he woke up one day and headed towards the spring for his morning shower and as soon as he reached the clearing, he saw something he had long ago lost hope of seeing. The god was bathing in the spring. And he was gorgeous and simply godly. Perfectly defined body and chest, long torso, gracious movements, blond hair the color of the sun, perfect almond blue eyes on a perfect face. Simply beautiful. And he was staring straight towards him. His mind and his heart seemed to have lost any control over his body as he simply stood there, knowing that he should run, that he shouldn't see the god but he just couldn't move. And then the god came closer.
"Hello, You, I figured after all this time the hour finally came for you to know me. I am Gackt, the god of this mountain. And I've known you ever since you first set foot on this mountain.", the god spoke.
Watching those lips form words and hearing his voice, You couldn't help blush and then realizing exactly what he was doing, he quickly dropped on his knees and with a deep bow asked for forgiveness.
"Oh, Gackt-sama, please forgive me for intruding on your domain. I know you must have come to punish me and I will obey your every command.", You spoke with a trembling voice.
"Get up, You, I am not here to punish you. I knew from the start you wanted me to kill you but you see, You, I don't listen to mortals' requests very often so I did just the opposite, I kept you alive. And now I want you to be mine. I've seen you grow into the beautiful man that you are now, pale skin, deep brown eyes, beautiful body and it just so happens that I've been alone for the longest time. I want you. Will you be mine? You can refuse though. I need your love not just your body. ", Gackt said
"Gackt-sama, I owe you my life and my body. You have my respect and love, but I do not understand what you ask from me. I am truly sorry for my ignorance." saying that, the boy bowed again.
The god gave a sigh and replied.
"I have forgot that when you left the village you were still a little boy. For now, just keep me company, You. We will meet every morning and simply talk and bathe until you realize what I want from you."
And the god simply disappeared.
The next day they met at the river again and they did that every day for a year. He would talk about the outside world with Gackt, learn the changes and be amazed at them, learn about the god's likes and dislikes and sometimes gently touch each other on the lips and cheeks. Time passed and You kept growing closer and closer to Gackt. It was forever present in his mind that Gackt was a god, he had seen displays of his power on several occasions, but he no longer feared him and when he was not with him, he longed for him. Lately, the kisses were simply not enough anymore, the gentle words didn't suffice and the words he had heard a year ago kept replaying in his head: "be mine". He was Gackt's, every single thought and action in his body was destined to the god and he was afraid of his feelings lately, afraid of wanting the god to be only his, because a god could never be his and so You began feeling sad.
Gackt saw the change in You but kept quiet. Even though the mortal did not know it yet, Gackt had truly become in love with You. It was no longer physical attraction. He loved You's laugh and sometimes childish attitude, the way he was ever surprised when Gackt used the slightest bit of godly power to make him smile, he loved You's gazes and his soft kisses and the way his whole body blushed when they touched. He wanted You like he had never wanted anything before and he knew it was wrong for him to feel that because You was and will forever be mortal.
One day, they were silently watching the sunset from the peak of the mountain, You cradled in Gackt's arms, his eyes shimmering with sadness and he knew he had to tell the god how he felt or it would tear him up from the inside.
"Gackt-sama..."
"Yes, You?"
"I am sorry for saying this but I feel like I'm breaking inside when I'm next to you and I know it's all my fault." Tears starting falling but his voice never wavered and Gackt kept staring at the sun. "I know it's all my fault but every time you kiss me I feel as if I'm falling in a dark pit because you suddenly stop. When you look at me I just wish you see only me. When you speak to me I wish you would ever just speak only for me. When you sing I wish your song was made only for me. When you hug me I wish you'd touch every part of my body. You're in every thought or movement or word I make. You're inside me and I can't take you out. What am I supposed to do now? If you don't want me like this then please kill me because the pain is just too much."
Gackt turned his eyes towards You and said, emotion underlining his every word.
"That is love you and desire. You now want me. And I want you and love you. But You from here on there is no going back. Once we cross the line love will only grow stronger and because in the end we only have a limited number of time together, it will eat you from the inside, You. Change you, and I'm afraid of that. I know at first I said I wanted you to love me but now I'm sorry I put you through this."
"Gackt-sama, I don't care anymore. If this pain goes away for a second then please make me yours. When things will start changing, I will never hold it against you. I couldn't.", You replied.
And Gackt couldn't restrain himself anymore because he had wanted the being in his arms for such a long time already and he was a god and gods were selfish.
So he leaned in towards You's mouth and gently pressed their mouths together. I was so soft at first, like the touch of a gentle summer breeze but then You moved his lips against his and his whole body started tingling. So their mouths moved against each other, and then Gackt touched You's lips with his tongue and You slightly opened his mouth to allow Gackt in. And Gackt dived in, pressing You even closer to him, eyes slightly parted to see the blush on You's cheeks, exploring every corner of You's mouth, devouring him and hoping that he was doing the right thing.
You just couldn't help himself from moaning when the god's tongue explored every corner of his mouth and he could taste the god. He was simply divine, unlike anything You had ever felt in his life so he pressed even closer, wanting for more, daring to stroke Gackt's tongue with his own and to claim more every second.
And then Gackt withdrew and started placing feathery kisses down his jaw and then neck and then after slowly peeling away the cloth from his shoulders, down his chest and collarbones. And how good it felt. You couldn't stop himself from moaning and wanting more. With every single kiss his body seemed to grow warmer and tingly all over. He felt like he couldn't take anymore so he told the god between moans over and over again that he needed him.
Gackt grew himself quite aroused seeing You's state. You was more beautiful than ever before, a fine sheath of sweat covering his now naked body, a slight blush tainting his milky skin, his hair sticking a little bit to his neck, his mouth parting and asking for more. And even though You didn't kiss him back, barely even touched him, Gackt felt hot all over just looking at You and quite hard from their little foreplay. So he ground himself against You, needing to feel his skin against his own and the feeling was simply addictive. Never ceasing his kisses he put his hand on the other man's erection and started gently stroking it, seeing You squirm underneath him, watching him with fascination as he was approaching his climax.
You had never felt so heavenly before. He had never thought his body could react like this and he knew he reacted like that because of the god and he could see in Gackt's lust layered eyes that by reacting like this he was bringing pleasure too. So when his world started losing color and his mind couldn't focus on anything anymore he just let himself go with the feeling and screamed the god's name with every single fiber in him.
Gackt saw his lover's reaction and he couldn't help a smirk from reaching his lips when he heard his name being screamed like that, thinking that it's far from over. He needed his own release soon enough so while You was still recovering from his climax he licked his finger and gently pushed it inside You.
To You it felt a bit odd but not unpleasant and he just got accustomed to the fingers scissoring inside of him, until his world went white for a second again and pleasure washed over him.
Gackt just smirked watching You grow hard again with every single brush of his fingers against a certain place. So when he himself couldn't take it anymore he parted You's legs and after positioning himself he gently whispered :"it might hurt at first but it'll get better". And then he pushed in, letting his own sensations overwhelm him, the heat, feeling the other man finally underneath him and the love that was just oozing through every pore of their skins.
...
When it all ended, You was more aware of his heart and body like he had ever been before and seeing Gackt lie next to him, his hand on his waist, holding him gently, You knew that he would never let go of what he had now.
But You was wrong. Time passed and with the passing of time, Gackt's words came true. The love was still there, stronger than ever before only this time the fear was so strong that You's heart broke and pieced itself back together again every time they parted and met. It was killing him. Every second away from Gackt was killing him, seeing his body age and knowing what he would become was killing him, imagining Gackt's loving gaze turn into disgust with the passing of the years was killing him, so he knew he had to do something before that happened, become a god himself, even though that was so close to certain death.
When he was a child he had heard legends of the Phoenix bird, that by drinking its blood you could become immortal, never change, just like a god, only without the special powers. And Gackt had told him of the Phoenix that sleeps in the mountain's crater. It was so close, the answer to all his pain and he was about to take that chance.
So after making love to Gackt one day, he left the god's side while he was sleeping and headed for the Phoenix's layer. What You didn't know is that it was easy to see the Phoenix but impossible for a human to kill it. Only by touching the bird your body wold burst in flames and the mortal would die instantly.
So when Gackt awake to a piercing cry and he saw in his mind where it was coming from, it was already too late. You was dying and not even a god could save him. You hadn't died instantly precisely because his body touched so often and intimately by a God had grown stronger than normal, but not strong enough.
With his dying breath You said:
"I'm sorry, Gackt. But I loved you too much. If I had another chance to be with you I'd die again only for that chance. I love you."
And You died and Gackt was heartbroken and mad. Mad towards himself for being so stupid. Mad towards the way of the world that didn't allow humans to live forever or to become immortal, mad at everything. So he raged and the mountain exploded and every single living thing close to it died consumed by fire and no matter how much he raged the pain wouldn't go away. And Amaterasu, seeing this, descended and asked him:
"Gackt, why are you doing this. It was your choice from the beginning. You knew he would die ad he saved you the pain of seeing him grow old and ugly."
Gackt clenched his fists. He couldn't afford to burst in front of the mother goddess but it hurt so much so he just replied.
"He would never have been ugly. I love him so much. I'll love him for eternity and I curse myself for being immortal. If there was any way to bring him back, if there was anyway we could love each other forever, I'd give up everything."
Amaterasu stood speechless for a while, seeing the severe pain etched on Gackt's face and then answered, knowing that what she said would affect the way of the world.
"Gackt, there is a way, but it is impossible for a mere human to accomplish the requirements. That is precisely why we say that mortals can never become humans."
Gackt couldn't believe what he had heard and asked:"What is it? What do I have to do?"
"if one mortal sole can go through a hundred reincarnations and in every reincarnation rediscover his love and make love during his entire life only to that one person, at the end of the 100th reincarnation, he will become a god, out of love. But to force the soul to reincarnate 100 times in the same body close to this mountain so he can rediscover you would take almost all of a god's energy. You'd be practically dead until he found you again and when that happened you'd only have 1000 days together. After that, this time, you'd be the one that would die in his eyes. And I hope you realize that it is impossible for a fleeting creature such as a human do share love only during those 1000 days and the rest of his life have no other intercourse. Furthermore, until he finds you again he won't remember anything about you, Gackt. How do you expect him to keep his virginity like that?! Just give it up, Gackt", Amaterasu finished.
"I can't give up. I'd rather not move or feel anything for a millenia than feel this pain forever. I'll take that chance. Make his soul reincarnate. I believe he loves me that much."
"Are you sure, Gackt? You may waste your years for nothing. He might never come. And once the process is started I can't take it back.", Amaterasu said.
"Do it. I won't change my mind.", Gackt firmly answered.
So the goddess obeyed his wishes. Gackt went to sleep and decades passed.
And then, one day, a young samurai came to the mountain after losing a battle and with it his honor, decided to take his life. Until he found a familiar looking spring at the bottom of which he could see something. So he lowered himself under the water and was met by the face of a gorgeous sleeping or dead man. He pulled the body out and even though the man was dead he was so beautiful, he couldn't help himself from kissing him. And then a wave of memories surged through him, memories of him and this man, and choking he asked: "Gackt?"
And he god opened his eyes. Only the fact that You remembered him and managed to wake him up meant that You still hadn't experienced pleasure. One reincarnation down, Gackt thought.
And so the next 1000 days were all about love and passion and pleasure and sadness. Gackt told You everything even though he knew You would forget everything again. But they just believed they loved each other that much. So when at the end of the 1000th day Gackt went to the spring to lay himself back to sleep again, a pain-stricken You said: "I promise you, Gackt, I'll find you again in my next 99 lives because my love for you is immortal."
And Gackt smiled, knowing the words would come true and sometime, in the future they would be together forever without any pain.
end of oneshot
(1) Yamato : name of the first known kingdom to be created in Japan, the kingdom that would eventually rule Japan, hence the old name of Japan
(2) Amaterasu : goddess of the sun, the most important god in Japanese shinto and one of the creators of Japan
(3) Lang'An : name of the ancient Chinese capital
(4) Himiko : first known ruler of Yamat, believed to be a witch or an incarnation of Amaterasu; she was a woman
(5) in shinto, natural elements are the residing place of gods. Mountains are especially sacred
I'd love your comments.
Authour: yukigafuru
Pairing : Gackt X You
Genre : Romance, slight angst
Rating : PG-15 to R
Disclaimer : I am in no way connected to either Gackt or You
Summary : What happens when a mortal and a god fall in love?
Immortal love
This story traces its beginnings long, long time ago, in an age where mortals still believed and worshiped the gods of the land.
Yamato (1) was a small land, recently formed and it's growth in recent times was due entirely to their queen, Himiko. She was the descendant of the most powerful goddess, Amaterasu (2) and her powers were infinite. Under her rule, the land flourished and the people were happy. Himiko even maintained contact with the great rulers that resided in the west of the world, sent and received embassies from them, a place called Lang'an (3). But the people didn't really care about all that. They respected the gods and their queen, did as she ordered, and usually lived happy, happier than ever before.
But when Himiko(4) died, the world plunged into chaos. No one seemed suitable to take the throne and without the queen performing the agrarian rituals, the crops went bad and people started dying. Soon enough, disease plagued the land. No matter how much the people prayed or offered sacrifices, the gods did not take pity on them.
It was during these times that in one little village in the eastern part of Yamato, a 12 years old boy lost his parents to disease and so lost every single means of survival. He had no other relatives or connections. His family had always been poor so no one even bothered to pay any attention to whether they lived or died. So the boy was faced with only one possibility: death. The problem is he was still too young and lacked the courage or skill to kill himself so he took his decision: he would climb the mountain and face the wrath of the mountain's god (5). He would surely die then, he thought, especially since the god of the forbidden mountain next to his village was known for his bad temper. Every 2-3 hundred years, the god would show his fury and the mountain would explode and ash and black fire come out and destroy everything in its way. The boy truly hoped that this time the god's wrath would just release itself on him.
So he went into the forest, and unnoticed by no one, began his voyage towards death.
He walked and walked and nothing happened and then night came and too hungry and tired to continue he slumped on the ground and fell fast asleep. In the morning, when he woke up, next to him lay some fish and fruit and a bowl of water. The boy was so surprised he could do nothing for a few minutes but stare at the food and then his instincts took over and he quickly ate everything. Did that mean that the god was not mad with him, but accepted him, even wanted him there? The boy couldn't allow himself to believe that. No one had ever wanted him. So he resumed his walk.
But no matter how many days passed, the god would not punish him and when he thought a beautiful spring that passed through a clearing in the forest and fruit trees growing close, and to his greater surprise, a cave near by, the boy finally decided to just live there for as long as the god allowed him to.
And days and years passed. The boy became twenty and beautiful. And he still hadn't met the god. During all this time though, even during winter, he knew he had received help from the being since he couldn't have survived otherwise and although he knew he probably should go back to his village, something inside him told him he should not leave the god alone.
So he woke up one day and headed towards the spring for his morning shower and as soon as he reached the clearing, he saw something he had long ago lost hope of seeing. The god was bathing in the spring. And he was gorgeous and simply godly. Perfectly defined body and chest, long torso, gracious movements, blond hair the color of the sun, perfect almond blue eyes on a perfect face. Simply beautiful. And he was staring straight towards him. His mind and his heart seemed to have lost any control over his body as he simply stood there, knowing that he should run, that he shouldn't see the god but he just couldn't move. And then the god came closer.
"Hello, You, I figured after all this time the hour finally came for you to know me. I am Gackt, the god of this mountain. And I've known you ever since you first set foot on this mountain.", the god spoke.
Watching those lips form words and hearing his voice, You couldn't help blush and then realizing exactly what he was doing, he quickly dropped on his knees and with a deep bow asked for forgiveness.
"Oh, Gackt-sama, please forgive me for intruding on your domain. I know you must have come to punish me and I will obey your every command.", You spoke with a trembling voice.
"Get up, You, I am not here to punish you. I knew from the start you wanted me to kill you but you see, You, I don't listen to mortals' requests very often so I did just the opposite, I kept you alive. And now I want you to be mine. I've seen you grow into the beautiful man that you are now, pale skin, deep brown eyes, beautiful body and it just so happens that I've been alone for the longest time. I want you. Will you be mine? You can refuse though. I need your love not just your body. ", Gackt said
"Gackt-sama, I owe you my life and my body. You have my respect and love, but I do not understand what you ask from me. I am truly sorry for my ignorance." saying that, the boy bowed again.
The god gave a sigh and replied.
"I have forgot that when you left the village you were still a little boy. For now, just keep me company, You. We will meet every morning and simply talk and bathe until you realize what I want from you."
And the god simply disappeared.
The next day they met at the river again and they did that every day for a year. He would talk about the outside world with Gackt, learn the changes and be amazed at them, learn about the god's likes and dislikes and sometimes gently touch each other on the lips and cheeks. Time passed and You kept growing closer and closer to Gackt. It was forever present in his mind that Gackt was a god, he had seen displays of his power on several occasions, but he no longer feared him and when he was not with him, he longed for him. Lately, the kisses were simply not enough anymore, the gentle words didn't suffice and the words he had heard a year ago kept replaying in his head: "be mine". He was Gackt's, every single thought and action in his body was destined to the god and he was afraid of his feelings lately, afraid of wanting the god to be only his, because a god could never be his and so You began feeling sad.
Gackt saw the change in You but kept quiet. Even though the mortal did not know it yet, Gackt had truly become in love with You. It was no longer physical attraction. He loved You's laugh and sometimes childish attitude, the way he was ever surprised when Gackt used the slightest bit of godly power to make him smile, he loved You's gazes and his soft kisses and the way his whole body blushed when they touched. He wanted You like he had never wanted anything before and he knew it was wrong for him to feel that because You was and will forever be mortal.
One day, they were silently watching the sunset from the peak of the mountain, You cradled in Gackt's arms, his eyes shimmering with sadness and he knew he had to tell the god how he felt or it would tear him up from the inside.
"Gackt-sama..."
"Yes, You?"
"I am sorry for saying this but I feel like I'm breaking inside when I'm next to you and I know it's all my fault." Tears starting falling but his voice never wavered and Gackt kept staring at the sun. "I know it's all my fault but every time you kiss me I feel as if I'm falling in a dark pit because you suddenly stop. When you look at me I just wish you see only me. When you speak to me I wish you would ever just speak only for me. When you sing I wish your song was made only for me. When you hug me I wish you'd touch every part of my body. You're in every thought or movement or word I make. You're inside me and I can't take you out. What am I supposed to do now? If you don't want me like this then please kill me because the pain is just too much."
Gackt turned his eyes towards You and said, emotion underlining his every word.
"That is love you and desire. You now want me. And I want you and love you. But You from here on there is no going back. Once we cross the line love will only grow stronger and because in the end we only have a limited number of time together, it will eat you from the inside, You. Change you, and I'm afraid of that. I know at first I said I wanted you to love me but now I'm sorry I put you through this."
"Gackt-sama, I don't care anymore. If this pain goes away for a second then please make me yours. When things will start changing, I will never hold it against you. I couldn't.", You replied.
And Gackt couldn't restrain himself anymore because he had wanted the being in his arms for such a long time already and he was a god and gods were selfish.
So he leaned in towards You's mouth and gently pressed their mouths together. I was so soft at first, like the touch of a gentle summer breeze but then You moved his lips against his and his whole body started tingling. So their mouths moved against each other, and then Gackt touched You's lips with his tongue and You slightly opened his mouth to allow Gackt in. And Gackt dived in, pressing You even closer to him, eyes slightly parted to see the blush on You's cheeks, exploring every corner of You's mouth, devouring him and hoping that he was doing the right thing.
You just couldn't help himself from moaning when the god's tongue explored every corner of his mouth and he could taste the god. He was simply divine, unlike anything You had ever felt in his life so he pressed even closer, wanting for more, daring to stroke Gackt's tongue with his own and to claim more every second.
And then Gackt withdrew and started placing feathery kisses down his jaw and then neck and then after slowly peeling away the cloth from his shoulders, down his chest and collarbones. And how good it felt. You couldn't stop himself from moaning and wanting more. With every single kiss his body seemed to grow warmer and tingly all over. He felt like he couldn't take anymore so he told the god between moans over and over again that he needed him.
Gackt grew himself quite aroused seeing You's state. You was more beautiful than ever before, a fine sheath of sweat covering his now naked body, a slight blush tainting his milky skin, his hair sticking a little bit to his neck, his mouth parting and asking for more. And even though You didn't kiss him back, barely even touched him, Gackt felt hot all over just looking at You and quite hard from their little foreplay. So he ground himself against You, needing to feel his skin against his own and the feeling was simply addictive. Never ceasing his kisses he put his hand on the other man's erection and started gently stroking it, seeing You squirm underneath him, watching him with fascination as he was approaching his climax.
You had never felt so heavenly before. He had never thought his body could react like this and he knew he reacted like that because of the god and he could see in Gackt's lust layered eyes that by reacting like this he was bringing pleasure too. So when his world started losing color and his mind couldn't focus on anything anymore he just let himself go with the feeling and screamed the god's name with every single fiber in him.
Gackt saw his lover's reaction and he couldn't help a smirk from reaching his lips when he heard his name being screamed like that, thinking that it's far from over. He needed his own release soon enough so while You was still recovering from his climax he licked his finger and gently pushed it inside You.
To You it felt a bit odd but not unpleasant and he just got accustomed to the fingers scissoring inside of him, until his world went white for a second again and pleasure washed over him.
Gackt just smirked watching You grow hard again with every single brush of his fingers against a certain place. So when he himself couldn't take it anymore he parted You's legs and after positioning himself he gently whispered :"it might hurt at first but it'll get better". And then he pushed in, letting his own sensations overwhelm him, the heat, feeling the other man finally underneath him and the love that was just oozing through every pore of their skins.
...
When it all ended, You was more aware of his heart and body like he had ever been before and seeing Gackt lie next to him, his hand on his waist, holding him gently, You knew that he would never let go of what he had now.
But You was wrong. Time passed and with the passing of time, Gackt's words came true. The love was still there, stronger than ever before only this time the fear was so strong that You's heart broke and pieced itself back together again every time they parted and met. It was killing him. Every second away from Gackt was killing him, seeing his body age and knowing what he would become was killing him, imagining Gackt's loving gaze turn into disgust with the passing of the years was killing him, so he knew he had to do something before that happened, become a god himself, even though that was so close to certain death.
When he was a child he had heard legends of the Phoenix bird, that by drinking its blood you could become immortal, never change, just like a god, only without the special powers. And Gackt had told him of the Phoenix that sleeps in the mountain's crater. It was so close, the answer to all his pain and he was about to take that chance.
So after making love to Gackt one day, he left the god's side while he was sleeping and headed for the Phoenix's layer. What You didn't know is that it was easy to see the Phoenix but impossible for a human to kill it. Only by touching the bird your body wold burst in flames and the mortal would die instantly.
So when Gackt awake to a piercing cry and he saw in his mind where it was coming from, it was already too late. You was dying and not even a god could save him. You hadn't died instantly precisely because his body touched so often and intimately by a God had grown stronger than normal, but not strong enough.
With his dying breath You said:
"I'm sorry, Gackt. But I loved you too much. If I had another chance to be with you I'd die again only for that chance. I love you."
And You died and Gackt was heartbroken and mad. Mad towards himself for being so stupid. Mad towards the way of the world that didn't allow humans to live forever or to become immortal, mad at everything. So he raged and the mountain exploded and every single living thing close to it died consumed by fire and no matter how much he raged the pain wouldn't go away. And Amaterasu, seeing this, descended and asked him:
"Gackt, why are you doing this. It was your choice from the beginning. You knew he would die ad he saved you the pain of seeing him grow old and ugly."
Gackt clenched his fists. He couldn't afford to burst in front of the mother goddess but it hurt so much so he just replied.
"He would never have been ugly. I love him so much. I'll love him for eternity and I curse myself for being immortal. If there was any way to bring him back, if there was anyway we could love each other forever, I'd give up everything."
Amaterasu stood speechless for a while, seeing the severe pain etched on Gackt's face and then answered, knowing that what she said would affect the way of the world.
"Gackt, there is a way, but it is impossible for a mere human to accomplish the requirements. That is precisely why we say that mortals can never become humans."
Gackt couldn't believe what he had heard and asked:"What is it? What do I have to do?"
"if one mortal sole can go through a hundred reincarnations and in every reincarnation rediscover his love and make love during his entire life only to that one person, at the end of the 100th reincarnation, he will become a god, out of love. But to force the soul to reincarnate 100 times in the same body close to this mountain so he can rediscover you would take almost all of a god's energy. You'd be practically dead until he found you again and when that happened you'd only have 1000 days together. After that, this time, you'd be the one that would die in his eyes. And I hope you realize that it is impossible for a fleeting creature such as a human do share love only during those 1000 days and the rest of his life have no other intercourse. Furthermore, until he finds you again he won't remember anything about you, Gackt. How do you expect him to keep his virginity like that?! Just give it up, Gackt", Amaterasu finished.
"I can't give up. I'd rather not move or feel anything for a millenia than feel this pain forever. I'll take that chance. Make his soul reincarnate. I believe he loves me that much."
"Are you sure, Gackt? You may waste your years for nothing. He might never come. And once the process is started I can't take it back.", Amaterasu said.
"Do it. I won't change my mind.", Gackt firmly answered.
So the goddess obeyed his wishes. Gackt went to sleep and decades passed.
And then, one day, a young samurai came to the mountain after losing a battle and with it his honor, decided to take his life. Until he found a familiar looking spring at the bottom of which he could see something. So he lowered himself under the water and was met by the face of a gorgeous sleeping or dead man. He pulled the body out and even though the man was dead he was so beautiful, he couldn't help himself from kissing him. And then a wave of memories surged through him, memories of him and this man, and choking he asked: "Gackt?"
And he god opened his eyes. Only the fact that You remembered him and managed to wake him up meant that You still hadn't experienced pleasure. One reincarnation down, Gackt thought.
And so the next 1000 days were all about love and passion and pleasure and sadness. Gackt told You everything even though he knew You would forget everything again. But they just believed they loved each other that much. So when at the end of the 1000th day Gackt went to the spring to lay himself back to sleep again, a pain-stricken You said: "I promise you, Gackt, I'll find you again in my next 99 lives because my love for you is immortal."
And Gackt smiled, knowing the words would come true and sometime, in the future they would be together forever without any pain.
end of oneshot
(1) Yamato : name of the first known kingdom to be created in Japan, the kingdom that would eventually rule Japan, hence the old name of Japan
(2) Amaterasu : goddess of the sun, the most important god in Japanese shinto and one of the creators of Japan
(3) Lang'An : name of the ancient Chinese capital
(4) Himiko : first known ruler of Yamat, believed to be a witch or an incarnation of Amaterasu; she was a woman
(5) in shinto, natural elements are the residing place of gods. Mountains are especially sacred