Falling in love with a fox -chapter 10 Ruka/Yomi
Chapter 10
"The bond"
The moment he picked up the jewel from the ground Ruka wasn’t himself anymore. He could think of nothing else but Yomi. Yomi’s teary face and his pain clouded his mind. He couldn’t give a damn about gates, magic powers, passwords and the rest of that crap. He’d get to Yomi even if he had to tear those gates down.
Somehow he hadn’t even realized that he wasn’t holding the crystal anymore. As soon as he had started his march towards the gates the jewel had just begun floating in the air in front of him, becoming brighter and brighter, until it was a bit transparent and the same little flames were surrounding it. It had a different aura this time. It was shining so brightly it could blind anyone and the flames were swirling and swirling as if menacing anyone to get in the way.
Ruka didn’t even notice the changes. He had gotten in what seemed like ages to him but in reality were just a few seconds to the gates and he could see the barrier stretching between the two foxes. He could care less so he just made a scowl and then almost in a growl mumbled: “Break”. And the barrier did exactly that. As if it were glass, it broke into a million tiny pieces that just vanished into the air. Normally Ruka would have been stunned that that had worked but now, he didn’t really care.
The second gates, a few feet away from the first, had the exact same shape and color as the first only they were smaller, maybe three times a man’s size. As he approached them Ruka said the password and at the same instant the crystal released rays of fire towards the two guardians’ eyes and the next thing Ruka knew he was on the other side, staring at another set of the same gates only this time they were human sized and the jewels were missing. He somehow knew that was why someone needed to come for him. Only by placing two jewels in those places could he pass. But as before, Ruka just couldn’t think anymore. He was just mad and worried to hell so when he saw there wasn’t anyone to come for him he got even madder, this time at himself as well as Uruha and every single thing that ran through his mind. What had been the point in waiting if Yomi had gotten hurt? If he had come two days ago nothing would have happened to his love. He blamed himself and he hated the ones that were doing this to Yomi and those gates were the symbol of them so Ruka couldn’t be more glad to break them.
Only this time things didn’t go quite as planned. The barrier didn’t break. It just trembled slightly. Ruka couldn’t have that. Resistance meant only one thing for him: delay. Just that. He was going to get to Yomi. With his fury growing, the color of the jewel also changed to red and the yellow flames were dancing like snakes around its surface. And then Ruka was exactly in front of the barrier, pushing forward like a mad man. It hurt like hell, it was as if he was being stabbed from all directions, as if he was being torn apart bit by bit but he didn’t care. Somehow the pain didn’t even compare to what he had felt radiating from Yomi before, to the pain he felt when he saw Yomi’s face, Yomi apologizing to him as if there was something to apologize for. Ruka had never once been mad at his lover. He loved him too much to feel anything else than that one overwhelming feeling and Yomi, the beautiful being he was, shouldn’t have to apologize for anything, to anyone. So Ruka ignored the pain and concentrated on his goal: getting through. And indeed he almost couldn’t feel the needles anymore and in a few more seconds he had passed. The moment he was through the gate a loud screeching sound could be heard and Ruka imagined it was probably the alarm. He didn’t care.
Now nothing stopped him anymore. So even though it felt like ages to him in reality he was moving so fast that you could almost say he had teleported when he reached a pair of massive wooden gates. He didn’t know how he knew that Yomi was in there. He just knew. And in the next moment he was pushing forward, opening the gates as if they weren’t even there and entering.
All the persons, or better said - kitsune in the room turned their gaze towards him and Ruka could see some changes in their hoshi no tama. So they were trying to use them against him. It was only that one thought that passed his mind before his eyes stopped on a figure crouching in the middle of the room, behind two kitsune whose jewels were shining red, very much like his was now. And his heart told him that was Yomi. So without thinking anything else he just advanced. He could almost sense the other’s attacks but he somehow couldn’t feel them. It was as if there was a barrier around him. The two kitsune in front of Yomi he just threw them across the room. Didn’t know exactly how but somehow he just did. And then he was standing next to his love, looking at his face scrunched in pain.
He gently lifted Yomi and tried looking into his eyes but Yomi kept stubbornly his eyes closed. Cold shivers went up Ruka’s spine.
“Yomi, baby, please look at me.” Ruka pleaded.
And Yomi did look at him but it was as if he was looking through him. Ruka gasped. Yomi didn’t recognize him. In fact Yomi just seemed not to be there. Anger flared inside him so he swiftly went to one of the kitsune he had thrown across the room, picked him up by the neck and asked with a voice that could shake even the gods into submission.
“What did you do to him?”
“We have erased his memory.” The kitsune said.
Ruka could have chocked right then.
“How much? What does he remember?”
“Nothing. He can talk, understand language, eat etc. But it is all due to instinct. The Yomi you know is completely gone.”
“How do I bring his memory back?”
He could see the glint of glee in the other’s tone in the next answer: ”you don’t” so Ruka didn’t mind throwing him through the air again.
This isn’t happening, is it? It can’t all be too late. He thought while going next to Yomi again, enwrapping him in an embrace, letting tears flow freely down his cheeks.
“Yomi, baby, please react. Please remember me. Honey! I love you. I’m sorry I’m late. I’m sorry I made you wait. Gods, if you’re there, do something!”
But there was no reaction so Ruka embraced him even tighter, having Yomi’s body as close as possible. And then he felt Yomi changing his position. Yomi was cuddling into him, probably feeling some comfort in the gesture so Ruka just hoped that maybe…
“Yomi, can you come back to me? Baby, I’ll do whatever it takes if you’ll come back to me. You know, Yomi, you gave me the crystal, which allows me to demand those idiots surrounding us to let me have whatever I ask you. In return for the hoshi no tama, I ask you to give me yourself Yomi. I just want you.”
When Ruka had said those words, the crystal suddenly disappeared. Ruka could feel he didn’t have it anymore. It had returned to its rightful master. And Ruka had decided. Even if Yomi didn’t remember him now, he’d take him home with him, they’d create new memories together; no matter how long it took they’d have their happiness back.
But the next thing he knew arms were grabbing him and forcing them apart. Two of the foxes had assumed human shape and now that the crystal didn’t protect Ruka anymore they had taken advantage of his helplessness.
“What are you doing? You have to abide by my wish.”, Ruka said.
The elder emitted some creepy laughter.
“What are you talking about? The owner of the crystal you have so graciously returned has to approve first. Do you really think Yomi will approve anything now? You are our…”
But the elder’s speech was stopped abruptly when Yomi’s roaring voice could be heard across the room, making Ruka’s heart start beating an unhealthy pace.
“You bastards better let him go right now! I accept his request.”
And Yomi was approaching Ruka but it all felt strange somehow. As if the one walking towards him wasn’t Yomi after all. His gaze, his once so loving gaze, was just hard and menacing. Ruka shuddered. What had happened? When Yomi was just a few inches away from him, all of a sudden, something happened. His surroundings went blurry and started turning black. And in front of him was Yomi. But not the Yomi that was advancing towards him now. It was his Yomi.
It was so dark and Yomi was shivering, afraid. Ruka wanted to go to him but he couldn’t move, just watch.
……………………………………..
Where am I? Who am I? Why am I here?
Yomi was crying in the soundless blackness, not even knowing his own name. And then, this little blue ball that had these little flames and was emitting the only light to be found in that place appeared in front of him. It was so warm and inviting. Yomi just had to reach for it. And then the blackness changed. All around him there were images, images and stories and people that somehow entered his blood stream and his brain and flooded him. He could not only see them but feel them and most of the time it hurt. The pain, people killing each other, even beautiful feelings shattered, wars, two atomic bombs, it went on, across time: the never ending strives among daimyo, the pain of the villagers, the never ending cycle of birth and death painting the same picture over and over: humans in pain and dying. Among those images there was also joy and happiness and…love. Beautiful pictures with this raven haired man under a tree, in the rain, petting a deer, exchanging kisses, the feeling of the man’s lips on his skin, the pleasure almost driving him crazy when Ruka would pound into him, yes, that was his name: Ruka, his lover.
But then the flow of images stopped and in front of him stood the most beautiful white nine-tailed fox he had ever seen.
“He is not your lover, Yomi. He’s your master.” The fox said.
“What?” Yomi asked.
“He doesn’t know it but he is the one being in that world that you and every single fox owe respect. You are his servant and nothing more. Don’t confuse yourself.”
Pain was running through Yomi’s body.
“But why? I don’t understand. He’s human. He has nothing to do with us. I love him and he loves me.”
“No, Yomi, he’s only human because Inari-sama just hasn’t decided to awaken yet. Why do you think you were born a nine-tailed? Because he was to be born. You are his protector and nothing more, the one to protect the vessel of the god.”
“What? Oh! Will Inari-sama appear in this world again?”
“Who knows? Once every thousands of years a god can be reincarnated as a human and set things right for this world but whether that happens or not is the god’s choice. Not yours. You are not allowed to love a god.”
“But I don’t love a god, I love Ruka.”
“Ruka does not exist. And you do not exist in order to love anyone. Your purpose is to protect him and that is all! You are confusing debt and duty with love. That is all.” The kitsune said in a loud voice, making Yomi step back.
The kitsune was gone the next second and the flow of images was back: knowledge of a thousand years, the fate of beings from all over the world, he had to grasp it all for there was the fundament of a nine-tailed fox’s power, the knowledge and the pain that comes with it.
……………………………………………………….
Ruka awoke from the vision in the same room as before. Yomi was kneeling in front of him, not even looking him in the eyes. The elders were simply not stirring, as if they were petrified although Ruka knew better.
“Yomi, look at me!” Ruka pleaded while moving a bit towards the kneeling figure. “Yomi, please look at me.”
“I am not allowed to. I am just…” Yomi tried to answer but Ruka just couldn’t have that anymore. He kneeled in front of Yomi, pulled him in an embrace and said.
“Yomi, I’m right here. I’m Ruka, I’m the one that loves you and I’ll be damned if I let anything come between us again. I couldn’t care if a hoard of gods wanted to have me at dinner or something. I wouldn’t let them. I am me, I am human and I am madly in love with you. With my Yomi, the one that has the warmest smile n this world and the kindest heart, sacrificing himself for what he believes is right and for his love. So Yomi, I am not and never will be your master and I swear to you no god is having me as a vessel because I am never letting you go.”
“But, Ruka…”
Ruka lifted Yomi’s head and he was happy to see the effect his words had had. Yomi’s sparkling gaze, the one he loved so much was back again. But there was also sadness.
“Ruka, it has already started. You were able to use the hoshi no tama because of that. You are no longer a mere human, Ruka.”
Ruka wasn’t quite surprised to hear that. He had somehow felt that something was indeed different but he also knew what he was going to say next to be truth.
“Maybe I am not a mere human anymore, Yomi. I know that too. But I know who I am. And frankly I’ll be glad if this thing allows me to never grow old and be with you forever or something like in a fairy tale. And you know, the reason the white kitsune told you that you cannot love me is because our love is exactly what prevents what you fear so much. As long as we love each other, nothing in this world will change. And I’m fine with that. I’m fine with not having world peace, not being the world’s savior etc etc. Because I just want you.”
By the time Ruka had stopped talking Yomi was calmly breathing in his embrace, his tears falling softly on Ruka’s neck, Yomi tracing kisses upwards, towards his ear, chin, cheek, nose. Yomi’s gaze was sparkling with new found security and love and the moment their lips touched again after such a long time it was as if the world stood still for them and their love, the one love that could in fact change the world but that refused to be anything else than selfish. Two beings that only needed each other to exist and breathe. Two lovers.
PS: it was really hard coming up with an explanation as to why Ruka is different and it was really, really hard to come up with something plausible. Well, in the limits of fantasy of course. I hope I didn't go over the top, did I?
Oh, and the angst between them is almost over. I know you guys want a fluffy ending so... Oh and yes, there'll be plenty of angst in the next chapter to come, featuring: The Gazette. This fic is not near it's completion.