Gentle embrace- Aoi/Uruha, Ruki/Kai, Reita/Miyavi - Chapter 11
Chapter 11
Kai didn’t know how to answer. He hadn’t expected this and he swore he’d kill Uruha. But he couldn’t lie either, that would mean betraying the both of them. So he just bit his lip, looked straight into Ruki’s eyes and answered honestly: “Yes”. Just that one word; no explanation, no romantic confession; but one word that meant so much. But Ruki’s expression didn’t change very much. Kai had expected some sort of reaction. Instead, Ruki just advanced toward him, grabbed his hand and after saying: “Come on, we need to talk… without those three idiots listening behind the door”, he just dragged him out through the door, ignoring the other three Gazette members which had indeed been listening on their conversation; dragged him to Kai’s car and gave him the destination: Kai’s apartment. That was it. During the entire drive home, Kai’s heart was beating madly in his chest, wondering how things would go from then on, hoping their friendship wasn’t over, wishing Ruki would accept his feelings, dreading the silence in the car, but all Kai could do is keep his gaze focused on the road and drive.
When they got to his apartment, after he parked the car, neither broke the silence until they were actually inside, seated on the couch, one in front of the other. And then Ruki started the inevitable.
“Ok, Kai, I’m sorry for the silence earlier but we needed to be alone and talk and the car was not a good place.”
Ruki had a poker face on. After all, he was a great actor. Or was Kai just too nervous to read beyond that? Either way, Kai was expecting the worst.
“Kai, I want to hear everything. You gave me an affirmative reply but that’s not enough. I want to know exactly how you feel and since when.”
Kai forced himself to talk. He was a man, damn it and he wasn’t going to back off that easily. This was his chance not to screw up everything.
“I love you, Ruki. Not as a friend, but as a lover. I’ve felt like this for a few days now. I guess you can’t say I’ve been pining for you for too long, can you? Unless I’ve loved you without knowing it. I don’t know about that. I just know that now I want to hold you and I want you for myself. You’re still important to me as a friend and I’d never want that bond to be destroyed, but if there’s any chance you might accept my feelings…”
“Since when, Kai?”
“The day I first went to pick you up at that motel. The morning you kissed me. That kiss started everything.”
“Kai, you’ve never had an interest in men, have you? How do you know this is love?”
“God, Ruki, I know what I’m feeling! It’s more than desire and it’s more than affection. Do you really want me to describe it, because it’s just so hard. And you still haven’t reacted at all. Can you at least tell me what you feel right now? I’m so afraid I screwed up everything.”
Ruki finally let out a long breath and his eyes turned gentle and Kai found himself hoping, stronger than before.
“Kai, do you know I told you I’m in love with someone?”
“Yes, and that’s why I didn’t want to force this on you. I…”
“Kai, can you let me finish?” Ruki stopped him and Kai just nodded, too nervous to talk properly anymore. “That person I love means the world too me. I couldn’t tell him though because I was too afraid too hear his answer. Today Uruha finally made me realize I’ve been an idiot, so I’m just going to confess.”
Kai was cursing himself and his fate and this point. He just felt like tearing up everything into pieces because he thought he had just lost Ruki for good. But then, Ruki turned his world around one more time, with one kiss. And it was just a brush of lips, like their first kiss: innocent and sweet, the type of kiss that left you craving for more. But Ruki pulled away and then closing his eyes, abandoning himself to his feelings, dropping the poker face he had tried very hard to keep up, he said:
“I love you, Kai.”
Kai couldn’t believe his ears. It was like a wave washing over him, rendering him unable to move. If not for Ruki’s gaze, so full of love and longing, unwavering black orbs piercing his soul, Kai would definitely have thought that it was all a dream. And a big part of him did think it was an illusion. And then Ruki was kissing him again and Kai just threw his mind down a drain. Who cared if it was a dream or an illusion, he’d just see it through. He couldn’t resist anyway.
The kiss started as before, lips on lips but this time it didn’t stop there. There was no need to hold back anymore so that one kiss was the seal of their love’s confession.
After the long kiss Ruki placed little butterfly kisses all over Kai’s face, whispering “I love you” every time, trying to get Kai to actually believe it. Ruki could feel that Kai was still shocked by everything and he knew it was his fault. If he hadn’t been such an idiot and said something earlier, they could have spared each other so much hurt. But there was nothing he could do now.
Ruki’s mouth trailed down Kai’s cheek to his neck while his hands were fumbling with the buttons of the shirt. Kai finally opened his eyes and let reality wash over him. It was as if his body was on fire everywhere Ruki’s mouth touched him. He couldn’t even imagine a pleasure greater than what he was feeling at the moment because he had never felt better in his life. Ruki’s lips were indeed sweet poison, they were plush and juicy and just perfect for kissing and not only because they worked their magic all over Kai’s now naked torso, tearing strangled moans and pants from Kai’s lips. He hadn’t even realized when his shirt had been pulled off. Reality just seemed to twist and turn and all he could feel was Ruki and all he could hear was Ruki’s breath and Ruki’s heart beating wildly so close to his. He wanted Ruki so much but at the same time he wanted to take control of himself and be ale to make Ruki feel the same way and right then and there Kai had just lost control.
Ruki felt that something was not quite right. Sure Kai felt good and he was totally relaxed but at the same time, Ruki got this weird feeling that this was going too fast for the drummer. They had barely confessed and they were over each other. Sure, that normally worked out just fine for most people but Ruki got a feeling that Kai was different.
“Kai” Ruki stopped his ministrations, raised his head to look into the drummer’s eyes and continued. “Is this going too fast for you? You know we don’t have to… I want you but if you’re not comfortable with this…”
Kai’s thoughts suddenly became clearer. He was making Ruki concerned and that was the last thing he wanted.
“No, Ruki, I do want this. It’s just that I…well; I guess I’m a bit afraid. I want you so much that it feels like I’m losing control over myself. I’ve never felt this way before and even though it’s the best I’ve ever felt, it’s still alien and… Just don’t mind me.”
“Kai, how can I not mind? I know how much you like to be in control and I was actually surprised to see you surrendering like that. We can take this as slow as you want. And you can be as much in control as you want and when and where you feel ready for it because just knowing that you love me is enough for me for now. I want you, but I want all of you, even that stubborn, leader-sama part of yours.” Ruki finished with a grin.
Kai listened to Ruki and with every word the man said he realized that he felt the same things. It wasn’t bad to lose yourself once in a while and the fact that he could feel so much for the vocalist was just proof of how much he wanted him. After all, love wasn’t about being in control. But still, Kai had been waiting for this moment, the moment he’d have Ruki all for himself and once the shock wave was finally over he could feel that desire burning again. He wanted Ruki and he wasn’t going to wait.
“Really, now?” Kai started and then attacked Ruki’s lips, demanding entrance and then easily claiming dominance, making Ruki close his eyes and cling to him as if he clung for dear life. And Kai planned on being a tease. “You know, Ruki” Kai abruptly ended their kiss, all of a sudden pulled Ruki on his feet and while maintaining eye contact and leading the vocalist toward the bedroom, continued: ”I hate you. I hate the way you make me lose my head, how you make my desires spiral up, how I can’t think about anything but you. I hate feeling like I’m having a heart attack every time you kiss me and I hate the fact that I love your kisses the more they poison me. I hate knowing I’ll never have enough of you. And right now I can’t wait to punish you for making me feel like this.”
Ruki was obviously enjoying the speech because he had a Cheshire grin on his face that mirrored Kai’s own.
“And how do you plan on punishing me, leader-sama?”
“By taking your breath away.”
Said and done because the next second Ruki found himself on the bed with quite a naughty Kai on top of him, fulfilling his promise: making him lose his breath, his mind and his heart all at the same time. His shirt was off before he knew it and Kai’s mouth was all over his chest, kissing, licking the skin. He just couldn’t hold in Kai’s name when the drummer’s tongue and teeth proceeded on working on his nipples. The man was a god with his mouth, Ruki thought. Either that or he had drugged him somehow because the waves of pleasure just came one after the other, stronger every time. A particularly strong one was when Kai bit hard at the junction between his neck and shoulder and then trailed his tongue all over the abused area, muttering “mine” in the process. Ruki discovered he loved being claimed. But he also loved to claim so with one swift move he turned them around and had Kai pinned under him, offering the drummer the same treatment.
Ruki placed a soft kiss on the drummer’s lips, proceeding to tasting and chewing on the drummer’s bottom lip, demanding entrance. When he gained access he didn’t stop until he thought they both would die from lack of air: his tongue battling Kai’s, exploring every corner.
His mouth didn’t stop when the kiss broke, he went straight for the neck and marked Kai in the exact same place as he had been marked. And then his tongue trailed down to Kai’s nipples, giving them much needed attention. But Ruki was more impatient than Kai so his tongue quickly found his way lower and lower, down Kai’s finely toned stomach, only to stop a bit at the belly button, sucking at it and diving his tongue in, eliciting a loud moan from the drummer. When he looked up he was almost mesmerized by the sight. Kai was watching him, his eyes darkened with lust, a light blush tainting his cheeks, biting his lower lip in order to keep himself from moaning too loud and probably in order to keep his sanity; strands of his hair sticking to his neck making him look so debauched. Ruki just had to growl at the site and attack Kai’s lips again.
While sucking the life out of Kai, Ruki took off in a blink of a second Kai’s jeans and then his own. They were quite used to fast changes after all. And then his hand was feeling Kai’s painful erection through the boxers, making Kai lose his self-control.
Feeling Ruki’s hand massaging him Kai couldn’t help but break the kiss and moan Ruki’s name loudly. “You’re… such a tea…se, Ru…” he managed to say between pants. And then flipping them over one more time, a predator-looking Kai added: “and I’ve had quite enough of it. Now stay still and let me fuck you.”
Ruki giggled at that. An impatient, domineering Kai was just as much fun as the beauty that had lain under him a few seconds earlier. And Ruki expected their sex life to be quite a roller coaster from then on so for their first time, he might as well spare Kai. Those were the type of thoughts that were quickly wiped out of his head as Kai forcefully tugged his boxers away, wrapped a hand around his manhood and at the same time proceeded in finger fucking him, getting him ready for the next treat. And Ruki was ready pretty soon because a couple of minutes later he found himself begging Kai for more. And Kai gladly complied, after sheeting himself with a condom and applying lube, both items miraculously produced from the nightstand drawer.
Ruki found out that the mothering Kai and the domineering one were quite an explosive combination in bed because one moment Kai was being gentle, kissing him to make him forget the pain of being penetrated, waiting for him to adjust and the next moment he was being fucked into the mattress, made to scream his lungs out of almost painful pleasure. When the ride was over, after the strongest orgasm he had ever felt, Ruki just knew he’d be addicted to Kai and his cock for the rest of his life and he wouldn’t have it any other way.
A few hours later, when they had finally exhausted each other and drifted to sleep, the classic phone call just had to interrupt their quite pleasant dreams in each other’s arms.
So a pissed off Kai answered the phone.
“This better be serious!” Kai growled.
“Kai-kun?” Uruha asked. “Is everything ok? I was worried sick. I hope I didn’t mess up badly, did I?”
“Uruha, I hate you!”
Kai could hear Uruha gasp at that. He wanted to punish the guitarist a bit for interfering and his mood had taken the best of him but Kai imagined his friend’s sad face at that and Kai could not have a sad Uruha on his conscience. It was just inhuman.
“I hate you for waking me up, you jerk! Do you have any idea what I’ve been doing after we exited the practice room?”
“No?” a slightly cheerful Uruha replied.
“Thanking the gods for creating such a loose-mouth as yourself. Really, Uru-chan, I love you!”
Kai only imagined Uruha’s bright smile on the other side and the way he was probably jumping up and down. Kai was happy he had made his best friend happy, he was more than happy that he was happy with a Ruki lying next to him but he was still exhausted so when Uruha started: “I just knew I was right!” he growled and just closed the phone, taking the battery out making sure it won’t ring again. And then he wrapped his arms around his lover’s waist again and drifted back to sleep.