Just when you thought you knew someone.....
...They turn out to a completely different person.
As I mention before, I when to volunteer yesterday at the football game. Our school lost pretty bad, 6 to 48. There, I saw Matt, Andrew and their other friends. I did not recognize any of them. Thuan pointed Andrew out to me and then Martha later pointed it Matt and other people. Wow, they painted themselves green. *Shrug* Plus, they were letting these other girls taking turn to sit on their shoulder.
UGH, I hate myself for thinking that Matt was a 'normal' guy. I didn't know he was a playboy like this. He is the smartest person in 11th grade. Smart guy aren't usually a playboy at the same time. Look at Andrew and Brian, it's no surprise that they are playboy but Matt? GPA 4.0, Number 1 in 11the grade, and is a playboy? I mean I already knew he’d be sometime like that since he hangs around them but I never knew it was that bad. This totally destroys my noble image of Matt.
This is not who I fell in love with last year. I just didn't know him at all. I create qualities in him that he never possesses. I was wrong. Now I see why I like him. I'm just imagining these qualities. He’s not like that at all. I don’t have the right to say I like him because everything was a lie, a lie made up by me. I can’t believe I lied to myself like this. Now I understand, the Matt I fell in love with doesn’t exist. The Matt I fell in love with was the closest thing I have to heaven. Therefore I wanted Matt to be how I imagine him to be. I lied to myself even though it was so obvious that he wasn’t like how I imagine him to be at all. This is the outcome; I hurt myself again.
Even thought this love was a fake, I’ll treasure it forever, because it is still the closest thing to heaven that I had. Even though it wasn’t often, I do not regret it, since nothing should have been expected.
Goodbye, Matt...
As I mention before, I when to volunteer yesterday at the football game. Our school lost pretty bad, 6 to 48. There, I saw Matt, Andrew and their other friends. I did not recognize any of them. Thuan pointed Andrew out to me and then Martha later pointed it Matt and other people. Wow, they painted themselves green. *Shrug* Plus, they were letting these other girls taking turn to sit on their shoulder.
UGH, I hate myself for thinking that Matt was a 'normal' guy. I didn't know he was a playboy like this. He is the smartest person in 11th grade. Smart guy aren't usually a playboy at the same time. Look at Andrew and Brian, it's no surprise that they are playboy but Matt? GPA 4.0, Number 1 in 11the grade, and is a playboy? I mean I already knew he’d be sometime like that since he hangs around them but I never knew it was that bad. This totally destroys my noble image of Matt.
This is not who I fell in love with last year. I just didn't know him at all. I create qualities in him that he never possesses. I was wrong. Now I see why I like him. I'm just imagining these qualities. He’s not like that at all. I don’t have the right to say I like him because everything was a lie, a lie made up by me. I can’t believe I lied to myself like this. Now I understand, the Matt I fell in love with doesn’t exist. The Matt I fell in love with was the closest thing I have to heaven. Therefore I wanted Matt to be how I imagine him to be. I lied to myself even though it was so obvious that he wasn’t like how I imagine him to be at all. This is the outcome; I hurt myself again.
Even thought this love was a fake, I’ll treasure it forever, because it is still the closest thing to heaven that I had. Even though it wasn’t often, I do not regret it, since nothing should have been expected.
Goodbye, Matt...