Midweek Blah
So, almost a week in on the CNA training. It kinda sucks. Trying to figure out whether or not I'm cut out for this. Stupid damn pathological shy reticence. Rawr. Not so good at being assertive, I've learned. So many rules, unspoken and otherwise, that sort of contradict that personality trait.
Am learning more than I ever wanted to about old people and their sex lives, personal hygiene, et al on the embarrassing stuff. None of which is conducive to sticking it out.
Am considering dropping out. I fail at a lot of stuff, what's one more item to the list? Sorry, that's a terrible attitude. I shouldn't be so negative. I just don't think I can do this. But then I feel guilty, about wasting this time. Then I'm irritated that I feel guilty. Then I feel guilty for feeling guilty and it's just a stupid damn cycle I should damn well break if I don't want to wind up having a nervous breakdown before I'm 30. If I haven't already. I'm not sure that I haven't, to be honest.
If I do drop out, that means I get to start job-hunting again.
Damn it. I don't know. I just . . . I don't know. And that sucks. I need to decide, though, before I sink any actual money into this.
Fuck.
Am learning more than I ever wanted to about old people and their sex lives, personal hygiene, et al on the embarrassing stuff. None of which is conducive to sticking it out.
Am considering dropping out. I fail at a lot of stuff, what's one more item to the list? Sorry, that's a terrible attitude. I shouldn't be so negative. I just don't think I can do this. But then I feel guilty, about wasting this time. Then I'm irritated that I feel guilty. Then I feel guilty for feeling guilty and it's just a stupid damn cycle I should damn well break if I don't want to wind up having a nervous breakdown before I'm 30. If I haven't already. I'm not sure that I haven't, to be honest.
If I do drop out, that means I get to start job-hunting again.
Damn it. I don't know. I just . . . I don't know. And that sucks. I need to decide, though, before I sink any actual money into this.
Fuck.