Red Paint - 1/3 { ReitaxRuki }
Title: Red Paint 1/2
Author: yujira
Pairing: ReitaxRuki
Genre: Angst, Romance, Ruki POV
Rating: PG-15
Warnings: Suicide attempt.
Summary: I wonder... if I asked you to kiss those stained lips, would you grant me my last wish? I want you to taste the beauty and ugliness which you implanted into me, infecting every single cell inside me with this incurable disease called love.
Disclaimer: Don't own anything but my imagination.
Comments: Enjoy.
Drip, drip, drip.
Why did I never realize how beautiful the color red is? Love, passion, guilt, anger, sin, lust, pain. All those strong emotions that it represents. Blood. Crimson droplets. Red streams down my arms, smooth like silky ribbons. With every little drop that is leaving me, a piece of my life is taken away. But I smile, my icy blue contacts glowing with fascination as I slowly paint the innocence of the snow white tiles with the red sin of my action.
It's so beautiful.
I hope you'll arrive soon, I want you to see this. See your shocked expression, wide eyes and open mouth. Kneeling down to me, trying to save me? Or rather keep on breaking me. But there's nothing left for you to destroy anymore. The broken pieces are too little to be picked up and shattered again. I won't let you have your way with me anymore. I lift my right hand, bringing it to my plush pair of lips, covering them with the red that holds my love, my pain, my hate for you. I wonder... if I asked you to kiss those stained lips, would you grant me my last wish? I want you to taste the beauty and ugliness which you implanted into me, infecting every single cell inside me with this incurable disease called love. Love, the kind that makes you feel warm and light headed, erasing all insecurities inside your mind. Love, that grew colder with each year that you haven't responded to it. Killing my hopes with those meaningless hugs and sentences. 'I could never wish for a better friend, Ruki.' Did you really not see the pain and longing in my eyes, every time you would hit me with those cruel words? Why did I have to fall in love with the most dense human being on this planet? Why, why did you chose me as your victim? Me, who had never believed in true love. And as the little flame of hope inside me grew, you quickly blew it out, proving me that I've been right my whole damn life. But you didn't just let me go like that. You had to turn this love I have/had for you into nasty jealousy and mind numbing pain. Showing off your girlfriend with those sparkles in your eyes that made me want to scratch them out. So that you could feel just a small piece of the pain I am feeling. 'I'm going to get married, Ru.' What were you expecting me to do? Fall into your open arms and tell you how happy I am for you? Because that's what a friend is supposed to do, right?
But I am not your friend. I'm not.
I'm someone who loves you.
Who hates you.
Who wishes for your happiness.
But at the same time I want to see your fall. I want you to get sucked into this black hole where you put me in. Feel the pain, the hate, the anxiety that has been eating me away all those years of worthless waiting. I know about the ugliness that is covering my thoughts. But I never chose to turn into this pitiful, loathing person. It's you who made me. You who destroyed me. You who killed me. I don't want to have those ugly feelings inside me anymore. Don't want to have those dreams of killing you together with your girlfriend. Don't want to leave any more scars on my innocent body.
I want to be pure again.
But you won't give my innocence back to me. And so, there's nothing else I can do. All those feelings, they need to leave my body. And once all that blood is out. Not only my feelings for you will vanish but everything. I will be clean again. Just a little more time...
''T-Taka... what...''
And there it is. The moment I've been waiting for. Now it's time for me to destroy you, my sweet Akira.
I'm sorry.
.
.
.
This turned out pretty short but I have to say... I love this. I don't know why... I just feel really good now, after writing this. *cough* Anyway, I will be leaving soon, returning on sunday and post the second part very soon, I promise. I have it all in my head, just no more time to type it now.
I hope... this does not make me look too sick. *sweatdrop*
Comments are ♥ and greatly appreciated, as always.
*flees to pack her things*
Author: yujira
Pairing: ReitaxRuki
Genre: Angst, Romance, Ruki POV
Rating: PG-15
Warnings: Suicide attempt.
Summary: I wonder... if I asked you to kiss those stained lips, would you grant me my last wish? I want you to taste the beauty and ugliness which you implanted into me, infecting every single cell inside me with this incurable disease called love.
Disclaimer: Don't own anything but my imagination.
Comments: Enjoy.
Drip, drip, drip.
Why did I never realize how beautiful the color red is? Love, passion, guilt, anger, sin, lust, pain. All those strong emotions that it represents. Blood. Crimson droplets. Red streams down my arms, smooth like silky ribbons. With every little drop that is leaving me, a piece of my life is taken away. But I smile, my icy blue contacts glowing with fascination as I slowly paint the innocence of the snow white tiles with the red sin of my action.
It's so beautiful.
I hope you'll arrive soon, I want you to see this. See your shocked expression, wide eyes and open mouth. Kneeling down to me, trying to save me? Or rather keep on breaking me. But there's nothing left for you to destroy anymore. The broken pieces are too little to be picked up and shattered again. I won't let you have your way with me anymore. I lift my right hand, bringing it to my plush pair of lips, covering them with the red that holds my love, my pain, my hate for you. I wonder... if I asked you to kiss those stained lips, would you grant me my last wish? I want you to taste the beauty and ugliness which you implanted into me, infecting every single cell inside me with this incurable disease called love. Love, the kind that makes you feel warm and light headed, erasing all insecurities inside your mind. Love, that grew colder with each year that you haven't responded to it. Killing my hopes with those meaningless hugs and sentences. 'I could never wish for a better friend, Ruki.' Did you really not see the pain and longing in my eyes, every time you would hit me with those cruel words? Why did I have to fall in love with the most dense human being on this planet? Why, why did you chose me as your victim? Me, who had never believed in true love. And as the little flame of hope inside me grew, you quickly blew it out, proving me that I've been right my whole damn life. But you didn't just let me go like that. You had to turn this love I have/had for you into nasty jealousy and mind numbing pain. Showing off your girlfriend with those sparkles in your eyes that made me want to scratch them out. So that you could feel just a small piece of the pain I am feeling. 'I'm going to get married, Ru.' What were you expecting me to do? Fall into your open arms and tell you how happy I am for you? Because that's what a friend is supposed to do, right?
But I am not your friend. I'm not.
I'm someone who loves you.
Who hates you.
Who wishes for your happiness.
But at the same time I want to see your fall. I want you to get sucked into this black hole where you put me in. Feel the pain, the hate, the anxiety that has been eating me away all those years of worthless waiting. I know about the ugliness that is covering my thoughts. But I never chose to turn into this pitiful, loathing person. It's you who made me. You who destroyed me. You who killed me. I don't want to have those ugly feelings inside me anymore. Don't want to have those dreams of killing you together with your girlfriend. Don't want to leave any more scars on my innocent body.
I want to be pure again.
But you won't give my innocence back to me. And so, there's nothing else I can do. All those feelings, they need to leave my body. And once all that blood is out. Not only my feelings for you will vanish but everything. I will be clean again. Just a little more time...
''T-Taka... what...''
And there it is. The moment I've been waiting for. Now it's time for me to destroy you, my sweet Akira.
I'm sorry.
.
.
.
This turned out pretty short but I have to say... I love this. I don't know why... I just feel really good now, after writing this. *cough* Anyway, I will be leaving soon, returning on sunday and post the second part very soon, I promise. I have it all in my head, just no more time to type it now.
I hope... this does not make me look too sick. *sweatdrop*
Comments are ♥ and greatly appreciated, as always.
*flees to pack her things*