One-shot: Angel { ReitaxRuki }
Title: Angel
Author: yujira
Pairing: ReitaxRuki
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Well... Angst.
Summary: Takanori didn't want to stay and make a hole into someone's heart. But then his angel came. And Takanori succumbed to his selfish wishes for comfort, care and warmth.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my imagination.
Comments: ...
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''Hello Taka.''
''You're early today, angel.''
Because that is what Akira was in Takanori's eyes. An angel. An angel he had prayed for to save him the day before he had met Akira in the park. When he had been allowed to go outside to fill his lungs with fresh autumn air. When his body had been willing to move for him. But months had passed since then. The autumn foliage was replaced by a soft cover of snow now. Snow, which Takanori could only guess through his window. He wouldn't touch it again. Wouldn't let a snowflake melt on his tongue again. Because, as much as Takanori wanted to live, his body refused to grant him his wish.
Takanori was scared. He was. If you would ask him, only silent tears would leave his grey eyes because there wouldn't be any words to explain the fear that he was feeling. The fact that his eyes only let him see dull, colorless shadows which scared him so much that he preferred to keep his eyes closed during the day. That only incomprehensible whispers resounded in his ear drums, making it impossible for him to understand anyone who tried to talk to him. That everything tasted the same to him. There was no sweet, no bitter, no salty.
There was only nothing.
But whenever Akira was by his side, nothing turned into something. Takanori didn't understand why. When there was no color, Akira painted the small hospital room bright and Takanori could even see the little sprinkles of amber dancing inside the angel's eyes. When there was no sound, Akira's deep, comforting voice filled Takanori's ears and he understood every single word that rolled off the angel's tongue. When there was no feeling, the angel only needed to take Takanori's small hand or stroke his cold cheek to make everything inside Takanori tingle and feel warm. Akira was light. Akira was warmth. Akira was life.
When Akira was there, Takanori stopped dying.
Before, living had been hard because Takanori was lonely.
He didn't remember the last time he had seen his parents. But it wasn't because they hated him. No. Takanori himself had told them to stop visiting him. He wanted his parents to smile. To be happy. He didn't want to see his mother turning thinner with every time that she visited, thick streams of tears running down her rosy cheeks while his father would try to comfort her, at the same time struggling to stay composed and swallow his own lump of pain. It hurt Takanori to see them both like that. Made him feel guilty because he knew he was the one causing such pain to his parents. And so he cut the string. If his parents could only smile without him... then Takanori would comply, no matter how much his heart wished for something else. How much his mind told him that it was okay to be selfish. But it wasn't. It was not to him. He had to take care of the one's he loved before he would be forced to leave. Had to make sure that they would keep going without him. There shouldn't be anyone who would miss him. Takanori didn't want to stay and make a hole into someone's heart. But then his angel came. And Takanori succumbed to his selfish wishes for comfort, care and warmth.
The need to feel important to somebody.
When Takanori wanted to laugh, his angel told him jokes. When Takanori wanted to feel, his angel gave him a tight hug. But there was still one thing that Takanori hadn't asked his angel. Because he was ashamed. Because he was afraid of the reaction he might receive from the other. But no matter how hard Takanori had tried to cover his insecurity, the angel had noticed the unusual tenseness and discomfort that surrounded the small brunette. How could he not, he was an angel after all.
''Is something wrong Taka?''
''............................................''
''You know you can tell me anything, right?''
''... and ask? If I asked you for something, would you give it to me?''
''Of course I would. I have always done that.''
''Then... if I asked you... to...'' Takanori broke the eye contact to his angel and focused his gaze on his fingers that were drawing flowers only he could see on the white blanket. A pair of warm hands covered his own and made him stop in his movements, but he wasn't willing to lift his head yet.
''Please Taka. You make me feel like you don't trust me anymore.'' The blond had shifted closer to him because now, he could feel the angel's breath against his temple, making him both shiver and color his cheeks with a healthy color.
''W-would... would you k-kiss me if I asked you to?'' Suddenly the warmth was gone, and when Takanori looked up, the angel had left the chair to back away a few steps, face flushed and lips slightly parted. Regret and pain shot into Takanori's heart, his eyes stung, wanting nothing more than to reveal the hurt that he felt, but Takanori refused to show the angel any of it. He should've seen it coming. It was his own fault, voicing out such a stupid and pathetic request.
But before Takanori could speak out a lie of only having joked with the other, the angel was by his side again, hands on his cheeks and lips pressed against his pair, the sensation leaving no space to think for Takanori. He simply closed his eyes and tangled his hands into the thick blond hair at the back of the angel's head. Their lips moved hesitantly against each other, exploring the new feeling neither of them had felt before. After a while, Takanori's lungs started to burn in desperate need for air and he parted from the other with a soft sound, keeping their foreheads together. The angel kept his hold on the brunette, breathing regularly before his lips parted to voice out his own question.
''Taka?''
''Y-yeah...?''
''Can I also ask you for something?'' Takanori blinked, feeling a little confused but showed his approval with a slight nod of his head.
''Would you allow me... to kiss you again?'' The wide smile that stretched on Takanori's lips was more than a thousand words could've told the angel and so he leaned in, closing the distance once more.
Now, living was hard because Takanori wasn't lonely anymore. He had somebody who held him, cherished him, loved him. Somebody, who showed him how beautiful life is. And now, Takanori had no idea how he was supposed to let go. To get used to cold and face loneliness again. He wanted to scream at the world. For destroying his life at the mere age of fourteen. For not letting him become a singer like he'd dreamt about it his whole life. For not letting him go and visit the city of water he'd been fascinated with. For not letting him stay by his angel... no matter how much he wished for it. He could feel it. Even if the blond's presence had a huge effect on his condition... he knew that he wouldn't be healed. Even if he would ask his angel... it was probably the one wish that could never be fulfilled.
And so he was left with a single choice in this moment. To forget. Because he wasn't fading, he was being kissed by those tender lips, gently and carefully. He wasn't crumbling, he was being caressed by warm hands slowly pushing him onto his back. He wasn't falling, he was being loved. Tears spilled from his closed eyes as he sighed into the angel's mouth. He wasn't dying. He was alive.
.
.
.
End
A/N: Yeah. I'll leave it to you wether Taka's 'angel' is real or not and what is actually going on. I have my own story, but I want you to think about it the way you like it. And I refrained myself from killing him... I just couldn't do it. Actually, mother's day had just been absolutely shitty for me so I needed to let a few things out and wrote something. I didn't think much while writing, it just kinda flowed.... so idk. Like it, don't like it, s'okay. Comments are ♥ as always. Ahhh... at least I think, this angry, pissed off, gloomy mood will help me to finish Red Paint soon. I hope.
Author: yujira
Pairing: ReitaxRuki
Genre: Angst
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Well... Angst.
Summary: Takanori didn't want to stay and make a hole into someone's heart. But then his angel came. And Takanori succumbed to his selfish wishes for comfort, care and warmth.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything but my imagination.
Comments: ...
.
.
.
''Hello Taka.''
''You're early today, angel.''
Because that is what Akira was in Takanori's eyes. An angel. An angel he had prayed for to save him the day before he had met Akira in the park. When he had been allowed to go outside to fill his lungs with fresh autumn air. When his body had been willing to move for him. But months had passed since then. The autumn foliage was replaced by a soft cover of snow now. Snow, which Takanori could only guess through his window. He wouldn't touch it again. Wouldn't let a snowflake melt on his tongue again. Because, as much as Takanori wanted to live, his body refused to grant him his wish.
Takanori was scared. He was. If you would ask him, only silent tears would leave his grey eyes because there wouldn't be any words to explain the fear that he was feeling. The fact that his eyes only let him see dull, colorless shadows which scared him so much that he preferred to keep his eyes closed during the day. That only incomprehensible whispers resounded in his ear drums, making it impossible for him to understand anyone who tried to talk to him. That everything tasted the same to him. There was no sweet, no bitter, no salty.
There was only nothing.
But whenever Akira was by his side, nothing turned into something. Takanori didn't understand why. When there was no color, Akira painted the small hospital room bright and Takanori could even see the little sprinkles of amber dancing inside the angel's eyes. When there was no sound, Akira's deep, comforting voice filled Takanori's ears and he understood every single word that rolled off the angel's tongue. When there was no feeling, the angel only needed to take Takanori's small hand or stroke his cold cheek to make everything inside Takanori tingle and feel warm. Akira was light. Akira was warmth. Akira was life.
When Akira was there, Takanori stopped dying.
Before, living had been hard because Takanori was lonely.
He didn't remember the last time he had seen his parents. But it wasn't because they hated him. No. Takanori himself had told them to stop visiting him. He wanted his parents to smile. To be happy. He didn't want to see his mother turning thinner with every time that she visited, thick streams of tears running down her rosy cheeks while his father would try to comfort her, at the same time struggling to stay composed and swallow his own lump of pain. It hurt Takanori to see them both like that. Made him feel guilty because he knew he was the one causing such pain to his parents. And so he cut the string. If his parents could only smile without him... then Takanori would comply, no matter how much his heart wished for something else. How much his mind told him that it was okay to be selfish. But it wasn't. It was not to him. He had to take care of the one's he loved before he would be forced to leave. Had to make sure that they would keep going without him. There shouldn't be anyone who would miss him. Takanori didn't want to stay and make a hole into someone's heart. But then his angel came. And Takanori succumbed to his selfish wishes for comfort, care and warmth.
The need to feel important to somebody.
When Takanori wanted to laugh, his angel told him jokes. When Takanori wanted to feel, his angel gave him a tight hug. But there was still one thing that Takanori hadn't asked his angel. Because he was ashamed. Because he was afraid of the reaction he might receive from the other. But no matter how hard Takanori had tried to cover his insecurity, the angel had noticed the unusual tenseness and discomfort that surrounded the small brunette. How could he not, he was an angel after all.
''Is something wrong Taka?''
''............................................''
''You know you can tell me anything, right?''
''... and ask? If I asked you for something, would you give it to me?''
''Of course I would. I have always done that.''
''Then... if I asked you... to...'' Takanori broke the eye contact to his angel and focused his gaze on his fingers that were drawing flowers only he could see on the white blanket. A pair of warm hands covered his own and made him stop in his movements, but he wasn't willing to lift his head yet.
''Please Taka. You make me feel like you don't trust me anymore.'' The blond had shifted closer to him because now, he could feel the angel's breath against his temple, making him both shiver and color his cheeks with a healthy color.
''W-would... would you k-kiss me if I asked you to?'' Suddenly the warmth was gone, and when Takanori looked up, the angel had left the chair to back away a few steps, face flushed and lips slightly parted. Regret and pain shot into Takanori's heart, his eyes stung, wanting nothing more than to reveal the hurt that he felt, but Takanori refused to show the angel any of it. He should've seen it coming. It was his own fault, voicing out such a stupid and pathetic request.
But before Takanori could speak out a lie of only having joked with the other, the angel was by his side again, hands on his cheeks and lips pressed against his pair, the sensation leaving no space to think for Takanori. He simply closed his eyes and tangled his hands into the thick blond hair at the back of the angel's head. Their lips moved hesitantly against each other, exploring the new feeling neither of them had felt before. After a while, Takanori's lungs started to burn in desperate need for air and he parted from the other with a soft sound, keeping their foreheads together. The angel kept his hold on the brunette, breathing regularly before his lips parted to voice out his own question.
''Taka?''
''Y-yeah...?''
''Can I also ask you for something?'' Takanori blinked, feeling a little confused but showed his approval with a slight nod of his head.
''Would you allow me... to kiss you again?'' The wide smile that stretched on Takanori's lips was more than a thousand words could've told the angel and so he leaned in, closing the distance once more.
Now, living was hard because Takanori wasn't lonely anymore. He had somebody who held him, cherished him, loved him. Somebody, who showed him how beautiful life is. And now, Takanori had no idea how he was supposed to let go. To get used to cold and face loneliness again. He wanted to scream at the world. For destroying his life at the mere age of fourteen. For not letting him become a singer like he'd dreamt about it his whole life. For not letting him go and visit the city of water he'd been fascinated with. For not letting him stay by his angel... no matter how much he wished for it. He could feel it. Even if the blond's presence had a huge effect on his condition... he knew that he wouldn't be healed. Even if he would ask his angel... it was probably the one wish that could never be fulfilled.
And so he was left with a single choice in this moment. To forget. Because he wasn't fading, he was being kissed by those tender lips, gently and carefully. He wasn't crumbling, he was being caressed by warm hands slowly pushing him onto his back. He wasn't falling, he was being loved. Tears spilled from his closed eyes as he sighed into the angel's mouth. He wasn't dying. He was alive.
.
.
.
End
A/N: Yeah. I'll leave it to you wether Taka's 'angel' is real or not and what is actually going on. I have my own story, but I want you to think about it the way you like it. And I refrained myself from killing him... I just couldn't do it. Actually, mother's day had just been absolutely shitty for me so I needed to let a few things out and wrote something. I didn't think much while writing, it just kinda flowed.... so idk. Like it, don't like it, s'okay. Comments are ♥ as always. Ahhh... at least I think, this angry, pissed off, gloomy mood will help me to finish Red Paint soon. I hope.