I am Back
For some reason unknown to me..Work decided to block livejournal.. and I update at work, since I am online most of the day. And weekends are usually to busy for me to get online. I want a blackberry for this problem.. So I have to update the month..
I have been ok this month. Got sick once with the stomach virus for 3 days, not fun.
Rick on the other hand has not been ok. Meds are not working so he has had more bad days, we call them below the line days. On the line means that he is in control of the bipolar and it does not control him. Above or below is not good. Yesterday he was way below or very depressed but, atleast he had a DR's appointment. The Dr upped his meds so hopefully that will help. We are still looking for a new Dr. The one he sees now is 75 years old. I don't think a 75 year old would know all the new things going on about treatments.. he doesn't agree with us about going to a Support group. Which we started to go to on Wednesdays after work.. Rick likes them and he has been introduced to other people with BiPolar. So he now does not think he is the "only" one with it. We get to discuss other issues that happen because of the bipolar. And I think it has helped me also. I found a Support group that gets together on Saturdays so I think we will go to that one this weekend.
And on other things.. I have found online a journal of a friend that I use to know. http://mikefuller.blogspot.com/ He was in a band and we went to all their "gigs". I have all their cd's. And I admit I was really attracted to him. It was during a really bad time with Rick. 5 years of being treated as "just a friend". I needed more... I never did anything with this guy but I wanted to. And when it got to "heavy" I put the breaks on it and stoped the emails and all the contact. So when it got bad again with Rick I reached out with an email, I know I shouldn't have. We talked but nothing more.. But I still read his journal and look at his Flicker page..http://www.flickr.com/photos/16976130@N04/
Am I rubbing it into my already broken heart? Don't know. I met him at an Adam Ant concert.. I took the picture on his Flickr page...
I guess I will always live on the outside looking in..
I have been ok this month. Got sick once with the stomach virus for 3 days, not fun.
Rick on the other hand has not been ok. Meds are not working so he has had more bad days, we call them below the line days. On the line means that he is in control of the bipolar and it does not control him. Above or below is not good. Yesterday he was way below or very depressed but, atleast he had a DR's appointment. The Dr upped his meds so hopefully that will help. We are still looking for a new Dr. The one he sees now is 75 years old. I don't think a 75 year old would know all the new things going on about treatments.. he doesn't agree with us about going to a Support group. Which we started to go to on Wednesdays after work.. Rick likes them and he has been introduced to other people with BiPolar. So he now does not think he is the "only" one with it. We get to discuss other issues that happen because of the bipolar. And I think it has helped me also. I found a Support group that gets together on Saturdays so I think we will go to that one this weekend.
And on other things.. I have found online a journal of a friend that I use to know. http://mikefuller.blogspot.com/ He was in a band and we went to all their "gigs". I have all their cd's. And I admit I was really attracted to him. It was during a really bad time with Rick. 5 years of being treated as "just a friend". I needed more... I never did anything with this guy but I wanted to. And when it got to "heavy" I put the breaks on it and stoped the emails and all the contact. So when it got bad again with Rick I reached out with an email, I know I shouldn't have. We talked but nothing more.. But I still read his journal and look at his Flicker page..http://www.flickr.com/photos/16976130@N04/
Am I rubbing it into my already broken heart? Don't know. I met him at an Adam Ant concert.. I took the picture on his Flickr page...
I guess I will always live on the outside looking in..