Phoenix Wright: Ace Attorney
I changed my mind, I'm not gonna put everything in one entry. It'll get way too crowded way too fast. So each game will have its own entry, and the original entry will be your stop for art, and once again, CUTS CONTAIN SPOILERS! In fact, a cut for one case might on occasion contain a spoiler for a different case, so proceed at your own risk if you haven't yet beaten the trilogy!
...I think I should also add the stories of when I got each game. It doesn't really make sense not to if they're interesting, right? Right. Back when this game was rare and expensive over here and I knew nothing of 2 and 3 which would both be Japan-only for a long time, one of my friends had it and I believe she was trying to get me into it as well. Like many others, I had my suspicions about how fun a lawyer game could possibly be. I decided to see what people had to say on Gamefaqs. I had no idea what any of the topics were about, but they looked interesting, but what really got me was the gigantic funny quotes thread. Obviously the game was in fact something I had to have. Oh, and also, the first time I ever saw Phoenix was on that one Gant raep YTMND with Gant chasing Phoenix on the escalator. XD So anyway, I found a cheap (around $50-$60... that was cheap at the time!) copy on eBay, and Dad ordered it for me on the condition that I work off the money.
So then the game came in the mail one day, and I was so excited, but I couldn't actually play it yet because I still owed the money, but my parents let me start it up to make sure it worked okay. I started up 1-1, and unfortunately only got as far as Larry's drama at the beginning before I had to stop. But I just loved Larry's sad puppy eyes and couldn't wait to play more! I'm pretty sure this was the game that I thought I'd paid off by the time I did, but then found out about some crappy extra cost... probably shipping or something... that would take even longer, but I think I got out of that because I hadn't been informed of it before. And then I finally got to enjoy the exciting courtroom hilarity!
Oh, and a warning to people with slow connections, there are lots of pics here!
1-1: The First Turnabout
Or, Defending For Dummies
Summary: Phoenix's first trial just happens to be against the wimpiest prosecutor and the dumbest murderer in the whole series. Apollo would be so jealous.
Was gonna try to finish the whole case from midnight to around 12:15 so I could watch Frisky Dingo ("You can't fax glitter." "Not with that attitude." "Not with any attitude!"), but that didn't work out so well. Why? Because screenshots!
I saw this in Nintendo Power and wonder if it looks at all familiar.
Why yes, it does look familiar! This just happened!
It's funny the way Mia looks at you if you answer something wrong... of course, 3-1 didn't exactly give her the best impression of Phoenix... XD
Oh, Mia... foreshadowing, anyone?
Thanks, Your Honor. I'll do it as soon as I get home.
Hah! Whatcha gonna do now, punk? I've got Cornered playing now! Yeah, how you like them apples!? Yes, the statue actually was a clock, but how'd you know that? Unless... you used it to kill the victim! Which I already know anyway because I've played this case three times before! And you probably really killed her 'cause she wouldn't sleep with you like she slept with everyone else!
;_; You hurt my feelings!
Yay, a toast to innocent Butz! But I can't start on 1-2 now... don't want to get too ahead of schedule. A lot of people doing the countdown haven't even played 1-1 yet, I don't think... well, it is after 4 AM over here, so normal people would be asleep, but then, how many of us actually are normal?
Anyway, stay tuned for the next case! I actually don't feel like replaying it again (I wanna get to 1-3 already), but posting screenshots and comments as I play is definitely fun... y'know, I feel kinda left out because other people are timing themselves, but I didn't think of that, and plus I take longer anyway due to the constant updates and screenshot-taking while I'm playing, and plus I get distracted easily... and plus I say "and plus" too much, but that's not important. XD
1-2: Turnabout Sisters
Or, Maybe We Should Arrest The Clock
Summary: Maya Fey killed her own sister for no reason! Wait, actually Phoenix killed her for no reason! In other words, people apparently don't need any kind of motive for murdering someone they care about. Also, first appearance of Gumshoe and Edgeworth.
Less than an hour till midnight! Almost half an hour! Can you tell I'm really getting into this? XD But it's getting close to time for Death Note; can't forget about that, and then Fullmetal Alchemist. I shall start playing after that... not during the commercials because commercial breaks won't give me enough time to play the game, and do the updates.
Well, time to start! I need to clear some stuff off my camera's memory card; I've only got 770 pictures left, but I'll worry about that later. Right now, the Fey sisters are talking on the phone. Hey, it's that music! That's making me even sadder about what's about to happen... which is also making me think about what's about to happen in Death Note, if we're getting near that point like I think we might be...
Mia... do you know what's about to happen? Not feeling safe about holding the evidence and all?
OH SNAP, RUN! Crap, he just killed you in the same way as that loser Frank Sahwit!
Oh no, Phoenix is worried! Better get over there! But first... nah, nothing to examine here. They don't want you dicking around in an URGENT PANIC SITUATION, do they (yay, I fianlly get to say "dicking around")?
We don't have time for examining! THIS IS SERIOUS!
Okay, now we can investigate! That's convenient... examine Mia and get two free evidences! Then get the third evidence, so now we can go and call the police... OH THAT ****ING BASTARD! HE KNOCKED OVER CHARLEY! D8 YOU WILL PAY FOR THAT, WHITE! That's it, I'm calling the police RIGHT NOW! Well, except some jerk (Mr. Plant-hater, maybe?) took it apart...
Oh, good, Pinky McBoobs got it. Except that's bad because she's a bitch.
Yay, Gumshoe! :D Also, as it turns out, when Phoenix says to call the police, you can examine the phone and talk to Maya in either order. Examine the phone first, April May calls the police, then you go back and talk to Maya, and then Gumshoe arrives. Talk to Maya first, then go examine the phone, April calls the police, then you go back and Gumshoe gets there right then. Just thought that was interesting since I never noticed it before.
Hmm, am I going to be Maya's attorney? Let's see, if I don't, then she will be declared guilty and the miracle never happen. If I do, then she gets to live and the story gets to progress... sure, why not?
Ah, Mia told you about me? Great! I'm Phoenix Wright, champion of justice! I will right wrongs and triumph over evil! And that means you! Not you, Maya, the jerk who knocked over my plant. And killed your sister.
"Hey, Dick! Get over here!"
Yay, Charley's okay again! :D He is Mia's favorite potted plant and he is a "Cordyline stricta".
Well, time to snoop around Pinky's room. Huh, somebody must be staying with her. I wonder who? Well, actually, I don't, but... let's investigate.
GASP! UNTHINKABLE! Well, let's be more careful in our investigation. But first, conversation. She likes a man with a big... vocabulary (I wonder if she knows one?).
Poor Maya... ;_; Well, I have someone else I need to talk to now, and it is none other than...
...And he's not going to defend Maya. No worries! *Harvey Birdman voice* I'll take the case! Now let's do some more snooping! I bet that mysterious drawer contains porn a wiretap...
Dun dun dun... chapter 1 end! What will we find out in court?
Let's find out now! Chapter 2 start!
Edgeworth! :D I hated him the first time I played this case...
Hey, Maya just threw something at me! How rude! Oh, it's just a note telling me how to press. BECAUSE I TOTALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT.
Pressing things can have its advantages! :D
Gumshoe's "hard evidence" is Maya's name on the receipt in Mia's blood. As we'll find out over the course of the series, when someone's name is at a crime scene, it's always the killer who writes it, never the victim.
I WROTE THE MEMO! Nah, just kidding. It was the killer. But I can't prove that just yet...
Heehee, Gumshoe can't say "hemoglobin"... "I-I refuse to testify on this matter, sir!"
There's something satisfying about objecting... :D Mostly when I haven't played a case before and/or have a hard time figuring out what to present, though.
Isn't wonton some kind of Asian food? We're cross-examining April May, not Angel Starr! And speaking of April, she's captured the hearts of every man in the courtroom. And that's dangerous because we know Edgeworth is barely even a man. :P
Says Mr. Porcupine Head.
The clock didn't work! The witness is a big, fat liar! YES, I SAID FAT! I WENT THERE! WHATCHA GONNA DO ABOUT IT!? HUH!?
Now she says "everything is sold in stores". OBJECTION! You can't find a live dinosaur in a store!
Cornered! :D
OH NO YOU DID NOT JUST CALL ME THAT... wait, what?
Dude, she reads minds! O_o
And now we cross-examine the Bellboy.
He obviously remembered her quite well. XD
THERE WERE TWO PEOPLE STAYING IN THAT ROOM! But Edgeworth has an objection!
Sorry, Edgey. Overruled.
So there was a man with Miss May in the hotel. The plot thickens...
Chapter 2 end
Chapter 3 start
April's scaring the security guard. D: I wonder how many Psyche-Locks she'd have if they existed in this game... she doesn't like talking to me.
Grossberg's painting is gone. I wonder where it is... did he give it to his boyfriend, maybe? His boyfriend who just might possibly be the guy in that photo? Let's go talk to the Bellboy.
GASP! You knew he did it! And you were in on it!
And now April tells us about her roommate, who is also her boss.
I bet he's compensating for something with that giantesque vocabulary.
He punched me! D:
But why does he have Grossberg's painting? I know why! It's not something I can claim to understand, but...
Actually, we find out that Grossberg sold information about DL-6 to White, and is being blackmailed, and that's why he can't defend Maya.
So then we go check out Mia's files, and find a newspaper clipping telling that White's blackmailing and stuff drives people to suicide. We can't have any of that going on. So we go show it to him, and he suddenly decides to appear in court tomorrow. But I thought he didn't want to!
Wait a second... "Quietude"...?
You're with him, too, Louie? But you were my favorite character in Hotel Dusk! D: I mean, who else could you have heard call it that?
Now he's getting me accused as the murderer. No lawyer will defend me... but wait! I'm a lawyer! I'll defend me! It's genius! ...What if the lawyer White hired for me was Furio Tigre... I know we don't meet him until two games later, but he did do a good job of doing a bad job at the beginning of 3-3... even though he's not an actual lawyer... there I go with my completely ridiculous game theories again. XP
Chapter 3 end
Chapter 4 start
Redd White's going to be today's witness, and Edgeworth warns me that whatever he says is the truth. What if he said the Judge is a woman? Or Apollo Justice doesn't have Chords of Steel? Or Edgeworth is straight?
Well, he did just say he saw a spiky-haired man attacking Mia. We all know that didn't happen. And I'm going to prove it because I am not afraid of this jerk with 40 eyesight!
...With this particular witness... *facepalm*
OBJECTION! I did not, asshole!
Right. A small office becomes me.
Hah! Now the audience likes me!
WTF Edgey just Cornered me? Hey, he's trying to say Redd placed the wiretap!
HEY THE VICTIM'S HELPING ME!
"Are you all right, Mr. Wright?"
I'M FINE!
And I've got you now, Redd- OH COME ON, EDGEWORTH!
Thanks for the names, Mia! I am not guilty now! :D
Aww, Mia told Maya to take care of Phoenix!
And get down to business we shall, right after burgers! Stay tuned, everyone, because Turnabout Samurai is up next!
Today, Phoenix's courtroom adventures continue as he and his new friend and assistant Maya Fey go after yet another murder mystery in...
1-3: Turnabout Samurai
Or, Still My Favorite Third Case In The Series (Even Though 4-3 Has My Favorite Third Case Murderer)
Summary: Murder of porn star/TV show villain witnessed by Edgeworth fangranny, 7-year-old brat, and Director White And Nerdy. Awesome theme music for said TV show. Also, Edgeworth quits being a douche.
Finally! I love this case... but I'm really tired... I'm considering going a little easier on the constant updates so I can actually have time to play the game.
Yes it did. One of the more awesome case intros. Yay Steel Samurai theme! :D
THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!
I can't believe I forgot about this line. Quotes like this make 1-3 priceless. XD
Will writes me a letter to give to Oldbag so she can let me through. I can't help thinking Edgey pr0n would have a similar but more entertaining effect, but we don't know she likes him yet, so Hammer pr0n... which makes me think of pr0n involving an actual hammer... I don't really want to try to imagine how that would work. XP
Ah, Gumshoe told her not to let us into the employee area. And there he is now... silly Gumshoe, I'm not a murderer! I just proved myself innocent, remember? You threw the confetti!
Oh, now that was just mean. D: ("he", of course, being Edgeworth the Emo Prosecutor)
Well, we've checked out the employee area and Will's dressing room (and learned that Maya has at least three stomachs). Now we have the cardkey, so we can get over to Studio One now.
"Look, a ladder!"
"That's a 'step'-ladder."
"So? What's the difference? You need to stop judging things based on narrow-minded cultural assumptions, Nick!"
Hey, it's Penny! She doesn't get much attention at all (at least in the game; she does have fans who complain about her not getting enough attention)...
So now we got Oldbag into one of her near-incomprehensible rants and she ran away, leaving us free to snag the photo from the security camera. We plan to use this photo as evidence in court. We'll see how that goes...
Chapter 1 end
Chapter 2 start
We start with Gumshoe giving the details, and then Oldbag gets to testify, while of course hitting on Edgeworth. And... she just told him to call her "grandma"... incest much?
During Oldbag's testimonies, more gems are found, such as...
Objection sustained!
Also, the judge has trouble calling her "Oldbag".
The kind of hilarity of this case, actually, is why I decided to like Edgeworth. He's just too funny when the witnesses give him a hard time. XD
I know Oldbag isn't the murderer, but we had to accuse her in order to keep the trial going long enough for us to get one more day. And now I have to prove the boy didn't do it... I'm gonna go toast another English muffin.
Guh, this thing is too cheesy. Cheese belongs on pizza, not in English muffins, jerks.
Anyway, looks like we're done for the day...
HOLD IT!
And she wants to talk about something she wasn't supposed to! Specifically that there were more people at the studios. Time to go investigate these other people, then.
Chapter 2 end
Chapter 3 start
Looks like Maya's overwatering Charley. D: Gotta admire that plant, though. He sticks around through everything. :D
We can go to Studio 2 now!
Something's going on in that trailer, but we can't find out just yet. We need the key that we can't get right now because we'd get caught.
WTF?
LMAO!
*screams and runs away*
So yeah, Mr. Creepy Nerd here is the director of The Steel Samurai and the upcoming...
...which I can no longer look at without thinking of Phoenix Drive, with Oldbag in the costume... ._.
Well, it sounds like some kind of gross medical problem that I don't really want to think about... O_o
Nothing more to do here, so let's see if we can get that key now.
...I'm thinking no.
If you're sweet, then obnoxious would be murder.
Thanks for the diversion, Cody! Now let's grab the key!
So we met Dee Vasquez in the trailer, she made us go get the script for Steel Samurai episode 13, and then we found out she and the others were trapped behind the monkey head at the time of the murder. We're screwed... our only hope now is that kid, Cody. But he won't help us... unless... thanks, Mia! We win with the POWER OF BOOBZ! But he still won't tell us anything unless we give him the Steel Samurai card he wants. Luckily, the one he dropped that Oldbag gave us just happens to be the exact one Penny needs, and she just happens to have the exact one Cody needs.
...This case makes you do a lot of running back and forth... @_@
I DON'T KNOW, NICK, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
MOVE EVERY ZIG
Anyway, Cody saw the Steel Samurai kill the Evil Magistrate, so we can't have him testifying. Unfortunately, Gumshoe overheard the conversation and decided Cody is definitely testifying. Dun dun dun...
Chapter 3 end
Chapter 4 start
Uh-oh, Mia's unconfident... that might be bad.
But the first witness is Sal Manella! He is entertaining. :D Hah he just called Edgeworth a n00b! ROFL!
Now Cody's on the stand... poor Edgeworth has terrible luck with these witnesses... XD
XD
Well, Cody actually gives us something useful. He always takes and keeps pictures of the Steel Samurai's victories, but not this time. Why? It must be because... the Steel Samurai was not victorious! Poor kid's in denial. But hey, making him cry makes Cornered play! 8D
Then we learn something shocking about the victim. What is it?
O_O OMG REALLY? I NEVER SAW THAT COMING!
THAT MAKES SENSE! IT'S NOT LIKE ANYONE DIED FOR THERE TO BE A MURDER TRIAL, RIGHT?
No, Miles, that is SPARDA.
Jack Hammer was in the Steel Samurai costume! And he was murdered in Studio 2, not Studio 1 where his body was found! So it could only have been someone in Studio 2 who was the murderer... but who could it possibly be? We'll have to find out with another investigation.
Chapter 4 end
Chapter 5 start
First I have to tell Maya what we learned because she can't see what's going on when she's channeling Mia. Then we go talk to Will... every time I go to the Detention Center now, it makes me even more excited about Apollo Justice because I happen to be a really excited fangirl of one of the defendants in that game. 8D
This is scary... Oldbag's being quiet? She's mad because of what I said about Hammer stealing the costume and sneaking around... I'd better get out of here before she eats me.
Dee isn't interested in talking, and I still can't get the empty plate as evidence, although I definitely remember it coming up during the trial.
Well, I got the plate with the bone.
Oh snap! They're canceling The Steel Samurai! I do not hear such a truth!
Darth Vader voice:
And now I'm proving to Oldbag that Hammer did drug Will. Practice for Psyche-Locks?
Huh... I don't remember this music...
So what happened was Jack accidentally killed a guy five years ago and Dee's been blackmailing him ever since. This photo caught Dee's attention, and now... *gulp* she's inviting us into the trailer...
O_O She really wants that photo!
For example, abnormally nosy lawyers and their spirit medium assistants...
WE'RE TOO YOUNG TO DIE! D:
Yes! Gumshoe saved us with Cornered music! :D
Chapter 5 end
Chapter 6 start
O_O Darn good thing I stayed up till after 7 AM playing this game... otherwise I wouldn't have noticed that Mom left the oven on when she left for work... just avoided a disaster there, it looks like.
Edgeworth seems on edge for some reason. But he calls the witness, Dee Vasquez. And WTF SHE ACTUALLY SAID HER NAME AND OCCUPATION?
Hah! I know why the T-bone steak plates outside the trailer were empty!
And I know the spear wasn't the real murder weapon! BOOSH!
"I didn't."
"I didn't."
And it looks like she's conceding... what now?
?
But I still need proof that she did it.
Well, Edgeworth, what did you want her to testify about?
Okay, after she found the body.
Screenshots in the spaces later; gotta save this thing now!
After a lot of pressing, Edgeworth has an objection... to the witness's last statement! She had to know about the murder before going to Studio 1! He's helping me because... why?
Wait, WTF? You knew Hammer was injured? We have heard nothing about that! It was Will who was injured!
I've got it! Mr. Hammer was intending to kill Ms. Vasquez! With the Steel Samurai theme music! She pushed him onto the spiked rail in self-defense. And after the trial...
Well, Maya, sometimes a man and a man love each other very much...
Well, that wraps up another case. Edgeworth said he didn't want to see Nick again due to... unnecessary feelings... but we'll just have to see what the future holds!
Missing screenshots are up! Now I can get on with the game!
...I think I should also add the stories of when I got each game. It doesn't really make sense not to if they're interesting, right? Right. Back when this game was rare and expensive over here and I knew nothing of 2 and 3 which would both be Japan-only for a long time, one of my friends had it and I believe she was trying to get me into it as well. Like many others, I had my suspicions about how fun a lawyer game could possibly be. I decided to see what people had to say on Gamefaqs. I had no idea what any of the topics were about, but they looked interesting, but what really got me was the gigantic funny quotes thread. Obviously the game was in fact something I had to have. Oh, and also, the first time I ever saw Phoenix was on that one Gant raep YTMND with Gant chasing Phoenix on the escalator. XD So anyway, I found a cheap (around $50-$60... that was cheap at the time!) copy on eBay, and Dad ordered it for me on the condition that I work off the money.
So then the game came in the mail one day, and I was so excited, but I couldn't actually play it yet because I still owed the money, but my parents let me start it up to make sure it worked okay. I started up 1-1, and unfortunately only got as far as Larry's drama at the beginning before I had to stop. But I just loved Larry's sad puppy eyes and couldn't wait to play more! I'm pretty sure this was the game that I thought I'd paid off by the time I did, but then found out about some crappy extra cost... probably shipping or something... that would take even longer, but I think I got out of that because I hadn't been informed of it before. And then I finally got to enjoy the exciting courtroom hilarity!
Oh, and a warning to people with slow connections, there are lots of pics here!
1-1: The First Turnabout
Or, Defending For Dummies
Summary: Phoenix's first trial just happens to be against the wimpiest prosecutor and the dumbest murderer in the whole series. Apollo would be so jealous.
Was gonna try to finish the whole case from midnight to around 12:15 so I could watch Frisky Dingo ("You can't fax glitter." "Not with that attitude." "Not with any attitude!"), but that didn't work out so well. Why? Because screenshots!
I saw this in Nintendo Power and wonder if it looks at all familiar.
Why yes, it does look familiar! This just happened!
It's funny the way Mia looks at you if you answer something wrong... of course, 3-1 didn't exactly give her the best impression of Phoenix... XD
Oh, Mia... foreshadowing, anyone?
Thanks, Your Honor. I'll do it as soon as I get home.
Hah! Whatcha gonna do now, punk? I've got Cornered playing now! Yeah, how you like them apples!? Yes, the statue actually was a clock, but how'd you know that? Unless... you used it to kill the victim! Which I already know anyway because I've played this case three times before! And you probably really killed her 'cause she wouldn't sleep with you like she slept with everyone else!
;_; You hurt my feelings!
Yay, a toast to innocent Butz! But I can't start on 1-2 now... don't want to get too ahead of schedule. A lot of people doing the countdown haven't even played 1-1 yet, I don't think... well, it is after 4 AM over here, so normal people would be asleep, but then, how many of us actually are normal?
Anyway, stay tuned for the next case! I actually don't feel like replaying it again (I wanna get to 1-3 already), but posting screenshots and comments as I play is definitely fun... y'know, I feel kinda left out because other people are timing themselves, but I didn't think of that, and plus I take longer anyway due to the constant updates and screenshot-taking while I'm playing, and plus I get distracted easily... and plus I say "and plus" too much, but that's not important. XD
1-2: Turnabout Sisters
Or, Maybe We Should Arrest The Clock
Summary: Maya Fey killed her own sister for no reason! Wait, actually Phoenix killed her for no reason! In other words, people apparently don't need any kind of motive for murdering someone they care about. Also, first appearance of Gumshoe and Edgeworth.
Less than an hour till midnight! Almost half an hour! Can you tell I'm really getting into this? XD But it's getting close to time for Death Note; can't forget about that, and then Fullmetal Alchemist. I shall start playing after that... not during the commercials because commercial breaks won't give me enough time to play the game, and do the updates.
Well, time to start! I need to clear some stuff off my camera's memory card; I've only got 770 pictures left, but I'll worry about that later. Right now, the Fey sisters are talking on the phone. Hey, it's that music! That's making me even sadder about what's about to happen... which is also making me think about what's about to happen in Death Note, if we're getting near that point like I think we might be...
Mia... do you know what's about to happen? Not feeling safe about holding the evidence and all?
OH SNAP, RUN! Crap, he just killed you in the same way as that loser Frank Sahwit!
Oh no, Phoenix is worried! Better get over there! But first... nah, nothing to examine here. They don't want you dicking around in an URGENT PANIC SITUATION, do they (yay, I fianlly get to say "dicking around")?
We don't have time for examining! THIS IS SERIOUS!
Okay, now we can investigate! That's convenient... examine Mia and get two free evidences! Then get the third evidence, so now we can go and call the police... OH THAT ****ING BASTARD! HE KNOCKED OVER CHARLEY! D8 YOU WILL PAY FOR THAT, WHITE! That's it, I'm calling the police RIGHT NOW! Well, except some jerk (Mr. Plant-hater, maybe?) took it apart...
Oh, good, Pinky McBoobs got it. Except that's bad because she's a bitch.
Yay, Gumshoe! :D Also, as it turns out, when Phoenix says to call the police, you can examine the phone and talk to Maya in either order. Examine the phone first, April May calls the police, then you go back and talk to Maya, and then Gumshoe arrives. Talk to Maya first, then go examine the phone, April calls the police, then you go back and Gumshoe gets there right then. Just thought that was interesting since I never noticed it before.
Hmm, am I going to be Maya's attorney? Let's see, if I don't, then she will be declared guilty and the miracle never happen. If I do, then she gets to live and the story gets to progress... sure, why not?
Ah, Mia told you about me? Great! I'm Phoenix Wright, champion of justice! I will right wrongs and triumph over evil! And that means you! Not you, Maya, the jerk who knocked over my plant. And killed your sister.
"Hey, Dick! Get over here!"
Yay, Charley's okay again! :D He is Mia's favorite potted plant and he is a "Cordyline stricta".
Well, time to snoop around Pinky's room. Huh, somebody must be staying with her. I wonder who? Well, actually, I don't, but... let's investigate.
GASP! UNTHINKABLE! Well, let's be more careful in our investigation. But first, conversation. She likes a man with a big... vocabulary (I wonder if she knows one?).
Poor Maya... ;_; Well, I have someone else I need to talk to now, and it is none other than...
...And he's not going to defend Maya. No worries! *Harvey Birdman voice* I'll take the case! Now let's do some more snooping! I bet that mysterious drawer contains porn a wiretap...
Dun dun dun... chapter 1 end! What will we find out in court?
Let's find out now! Chapter 2 start!
Edgeworth! :D I hated him the first time I played this case...
Hey, Maya just threw something at me! How rude! Oh, it's just a note telling me how to press. BECAUSE I TOTALLY DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THAT.
Pressing things can have its advantages! :D
Gumshoe's "hard evidence" is Maya's name on the receipt in Mia's blood. As we'll find out over the course of the series, when someone's name is at a crime scene, it's always the killer who writes it, never the victim.
I WROTE THE MEMO! Nah, just kidding. It was the killer. But I can't prove that just yet...
Heehee, Gumshoe can't say "hemoglobin"... "I-I refuse to testify on this matter, sir!"
There's something satisfying about objecting... :D Mostly when I haven't played a case before and/or have a hard time figuring out what to present, though.
Isn't wonton some kind of Asian food? We're cross-examining April May, not Angel Starr! And speaking of April, she's captured the hearts of every man in the courtroom. And that's dangerous because we know Edgeworth is barely even a man. :P
Says Mr. Porcupine Head.
The clock didn't work! The witness is a big, fat liar! YES, I SAID FAT! I WENT THERE! WHATCHA GONNA DO ABOUT IT!? HUH!?
Now she says "everything is sold in stores". OBJECTION! You can't find a live dinosaur in a store!
Cornered! :D
OH NO YOU DID NOT JUST CALL ME THAT... wait, what?
Dude, she reads minds! O_o
And now we cross-examine the Bellboy.
He obviously remembered her quite well. XD
THERE WERE TWO PEOPLE STAYING IN THAT ROOM! But Edgeworth has an objection!
Sorry, Edgey. Overruled.
So there was a man with Miss May in the hotel. The plot thickens...
Chapter 2 end
Chapter 3 start
April's scaring the security guard. D: I wonder how many Psyche-Locks she'd have if they existed in this game... she doesn't like talking to me.
Grossberg's painting is gone. I wonder where it is... did he give it to his boyfriend, maybe? His boyfriend who just might possibly be the guy in that photo? Let's go talk to the Bellboy.
GASP! You knew he did it! And you were in on it!
And now April tells us about her roommate, who is also her boss.
I bet he's compensating for something with that giantesque vocabulary.
He punched me! D:
But why does he have Grossberg's painting? I know why! It's not something I can claim to understand, but...
Actually, we find out that Grossberg sold information about DL-6 to White, and is being blackmailed, and that's why he can't defend Maya.
So then we go check out Mia's files, and find a newspaper clipping telling that White's blackmailing and stuff drives people to suicide. We can't have any of that going on. So we go show it to him, and he suddenly decides to appear in court tomorrow. But I thought he didn't want to!
Wait a second... "Quietude"...?
You're with him, too, Louie? But you were my favorite character in Hotel Dusk! D: I mean, who else could you have heard call it that?
Now he's getting me accused as the murderer. No lawyer will defend me... but wait! I'm a lawyer! I'll defend me! It's genius! ...What if the lawyer White hired for me was Furio Tigre... I know we don't meet him until two games later, but he did do a good job of doing a bad job at the beginning of 3-3... even though he's not an actual lawyer... there I go with my completely ridiculous game theories again. XP
Chapter 3 end
Chapter 4 start
Redd White's going to be today's witness, and Edgeworth warns me that whatever he says is the truth. What if he said the Judge is a woman? Or Apollo Justice doesn't have Chords of Steel? Or Edgeworth is straight?
Well, he did just say he saw a spiky-haired man attacking Mia. We all know that didn't happen. And I'm going to prove it because I am not afraid of this jerk with 40 eyesight!
...With this particular witness... *facepalm*
OBJECTION! I did not, asshole!
Right. A small office becomes me.
Hah! Now the audience likes me!
WTF Edgey just Cornered me? Hey, he's trying to say Redd placed the wiretap!
HEY THE VICTIM'S HELPING ME!
"Are you all right, Mr. Wright?"
I'M FINE!
And I've got you now, Redd- OH COME ON, EDGEWORTH!
Thanks for the names, Mia! I am not guilty now! :D
Aww, Mia told Maya to take care of Phoenix!
And get down to business we shall, right after burgers! Stay tuned, everyone, because Turnabout Samurai is up next!
Today, Phoenix's courtroom adventures continue as he and his new friend and assistant Maya Fey go after yet another murder mystery in...
1-3: Turnabout Samurai
Or, Still My Favorite Third Case In The Series (Even Though 4-3 Has My Favorite Third Case Murderer)
Summary: Murder of porn star/TV show villain witnessed by Edgeworth fangranny, 7-year-old brat, and Director White And Nerdy. Awesome theme music for said TV show. Also, Edgeworth quits being a douche.
Finally! I love this case... but I'm really tired... I'm considering going a little easier on the constant updates so I can actually have time to play the game.
Yes it did. One of the more awesome case intros. Yay Steel Samurai theme! :D
THIS IS AN OUTRAGE!
I can't believe I forgot about this line. Quotes like this make 1-3 priceless. XD
Will writes me a letter to give to Oldbag so she can let me through. I can't help thinking Edgey pr0n would have a similar but more entertaining effect, but we don't know she likes him yet, so Hammer pr0n... which makes me think of pr0n involving an actual hammer... I don't really want to try to imagine how that would work. XP
Ah, Gumshoe told her not to let us into the employee area. And there he is now... silly Gumshoe, I'm not a murderer! I just proved myself innocent, remember? You threw the confetti!
Oh, now that was just mean. D: ("he", of course, being Edgeworth the Emo Prosecutor)
Well, we've checked out the employee area and Will's dressing room (and learned that Maya has at least three stomachs). Now we have the cardkey, so we can get over to Studio One now.
"Look, a ladder!"
"That's a 'step'-ladder."
"So? What's the difference? You need to stop judging things based on narrow-minded cultural assumptions, Nick!"
Hey, it's Penny! She doesn't get much attention at all (at least in the game; she does have fans who complain about her not getting enough attention)...
So now we got Oldbag into one of her near-incomprehensible rants and she ran away, leaving us free to snag the photo from the security camera. We plan to use this photo as evidence in court. We'll see how that goes...
Chapter 1 end
Chapter 2 start
We start with Gumshoe giving the details, and then Oldbag gets to testify, while of course hitting on Edgeworth. And... she just told him to call her "grandma"... incest much?
During Oldbag's testimonies, more gems are found, such as...
Objection sustained!
Also, the judge has trouble calling her "Oldbag".
The kind of hilarity of this case, actually, is why I decided to like Edgeworth. He's just too funny when the witnesses give him a hard time. XD
I know Oldbag isn't the murderer, but we had to accuse her in order to keep the trial going long enough for us to get one more day. And now I have to prove the boy didn't do it... I'm gonna go toast another English muffin.
Guh, this thing is too cheesy. Cheese belongs on pizza, not in English muffins, jerks.
Anyway, looks like we're done for the day...
HOLD IT!
And she wants to talk about something she wasn't supposed to! Specifically that there were more people at the studios. Time to go investigate these other people, then.
Chapter 2 end
Chapter 3 start
Looks like Maya's overwatering Charley. D: Gotta admire that plant, though. He sticks around through everything. :D
We can go to Studio 2 now!
Something's going on in that trailer, but we can't find out just yet. We need the key that we can't get right now because we'd get caught.
WTF?
LMAO!
*screams and runs away*
So yeah, Mr. Creepy Nerd here is the director of The Steel Samurai and the upcoming...
...which I can no longer look at without thinking of Phoenix Drive, with Oldbag in the costume... ._.
Well, it sounds like some kind of gross medical problem that I don't really want to think about... O_o
Nothing more to do here, so let's see if we can get that key now.
...I'm thinking no.
If you're sweet, then obnoxious would be murder.
Thanks for the diversion, Cody! Now let's grab the key!
So we met Dee Vasquez in the trailer, she made us go get the script for Steel Samurai episode 13, and then we found out she and the others were trapped behind the monkey head at the time of the murder. We're screwed... our only hope now is that kid, Cody. But he won't help us... unless... thanks, Mia! We win with the POWER OF BOOBZ! But he still won't tell us anything unless we give him the Steel Samurai card he wants. Luckily, the one he dropped that Oldbag gave us just happens to be the exact one Penny needs, and she just happens to have the exact one Cody needs.
...This case makes you do a lot of running back and forth... @_@
I DON'T KNOW, NICK, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
MOVE EVERY ZIG
Anyway, Cody saw the Steel Samurai kill the Evil Magistrate, so we can't have him testifying. Unfortunately, Gumshoe overheard the conversation and decided Cody is definitely testifying. Dun dun dun...
Chapter 3 end
Chapter 4 start
Uh-oh, Mia's unconfident... that might be bad.
But the first witness is Sal Manella! He is entertaining. :D Hah he just called Edgeworth a n00b! ROFL!
Now Cody's on the stand... poor Edgeworth has terrible luck with these witnesses... XD
XD
Well, Cody actually gives us something useful. He always takes and keeps pictures of the Steel Samurai's victories, but not this time. Why? It must be because... the Steel Samurai was not victorious! Poor kid's in denial. But hey, making him cry makes Cornered play! 8D
Then we learn something shocking about the victim. What is it?
O_O OMG REALLY? I NEVER SAW THAT COMING!
THAT MAKES SENSE! IT'S NOT LIKE ANYONE DIED FOR THERE TO BE A MURDER TRIAL, RIGHT?
No, Miles, that is SPARDA.
Jack Hammer was in the Steel Samurai costume! And he was murdered in Studio 2, not Studio 1 where his body was found! So it could only have been someone in Studio 2 who was the murderer... but who could it possibly be? We'll have to find out with another investigation.
Chapter 4 end
Chapter 5 start
First I have to tell Maya what we learned because she can't see what's going on when she's channeling Mia. Then we go talk to Will... every time I go to the Detention Center now, it makes me even more excited about Apollo Justice because I happen to be a really excited fangirl of one of the defendants in that game. 8D
This is scary... Oldbag's being quiet? She's mad because of what I said about Hammer stealing the costume and sneaking around... I'd better get out of here before she eats me.
Dee isn't interested in talking, and I still can't get the empty plate as evidence, although I definitely remember it coming up during the trial.
Well, I got the plate with the bone.
Oh snap! They're canceling The Steel Samurai! I do not hear such a truth!
Darth Vader voice:
And now I'm proving to Oldbag that Hammer did drug Will. Practice for Psyche-Locks?
Huh... I don't remember this music...
So what happened was Jack accidentally killed a guy five years ago and Dee's been blackmailing him ever since. This photo caught Dee's attention, and now... *gulp* she's inviting us into the trailer...
O_O She really wants that photo!
For example, abnormally nosy lawyers and their spirit medium assistants...
WE'RE TOO YOUNG TO DIE! D:
Yes! Gumshoe saved us with Cornered music! :D
Chapter 5 end
Chapter 6 start
O_O Darn good thing I stayed up till after 7 AM playing this game... otherwise I wouldn't have noticed that Mom left the oven on when she left for work... just avoided a disaster there, it looks like.
Edgeworth seems on edge for some reason. But he calls the witness, Dee Vasquez. And WTF SHE ACTUALLY SAID HER NAME AND OCCUPATION?
Hah! I know why the T-bone steak plates outside the trailer were empty!
And I know the spear wasn't the real murder weapon! BOOSH!
"I didn't."
"I didn't."
And it looks like she's conceding... what now?
?
But I still need proof that she did it.
Well, Edgeworth, what did you want her to testify about?
Okay, after she found the body.
Screenshots in the spaces later; gotta save this thing now!
After a lot of pressing, Edgeworth has an objection... to the witness's last statement! She had to know about the murder before going to Studio 1! He's helping me because... why?
Wait, WTF? You knew Hammer was injured? We have heard nothing about that! It was Will who was injured!
I've got it! Mr. Hammer was intending to kill Ms. Vasquez! With the Steel Samurai theme music! She pushed him onto the spiked rail in self-defense. And after the trial...
Well, Maya, sometimes a man and a man love each other very much...
Well, that wraps up another case. Edgeworth said he didn't want to see Nick again due to... unnecessary feelings... but we'll just have to see what the future holds!
Missing screenshots are up! Now I can get on with the game!