Returning after such a long while
Yeah Yeah, I'm back. It's been a long time since I've been here, but I haven't abandoned this place.
I am seriously pissed at a guy right now. After all this time, he's still avoiding me. He wouldn't come to my Halloween Party, nor Savvy's birthday party. I was so stupid. He lied about why he couldn't come, both times. For my Halloween Party, he said his parents wouldn't be able to get him here. I thought we had repaired our friendship, because we had a decent conversation over the phone. But no, he lied. He went to a Haunted House with another chick. I called him four times on his cellphone. He disconnected on me thrice, then on the last time he let it ring so I could leave a message.
It's not the chick that irks me. It's that he LIED. AGAIN. Dammit, does he not understand that I gave up hope a long time ago? Yes, I still like him (why and how, I have no idea), but it doesn't mean that I can't understand why he'd want to go out with another chick. Dude, we broke up. YOU'RE FREE. Do what you want. Just stop LYING, DAMMIT!
To top it off, he didn't come to Savvy's party because he was "tired". THAT IS NO EXCUSE! Does the trio mean nothing to him? We're supposed to be friends, to be there for each other. This was Savvy's last birthday with us since she's moving. AND HE MISSES OUT BECAUSE HE WAS "TIRED".
And you know what? I felt helpless at Savvy's party. The already shattered hope was tossed away with knowing he wouldn't come. When a slow song played and pairs went out to dance, I fled the area to find a dark room so I could just cry. I cried about him, I cried about being ashamed of leaving the dance, I cried about how stupid I was around him. And then the song came on. The song that Savvy and I can't help but laugh and dance to. I dashed out of that damned room as fast as I could to find Savvy hurt and sitting in a chair, crying. I felt so stupid. I ran to her, and put my hand on her shoulder.
It takes three to make a trio. Why won't the other person join us? I wish I could ask him, and just spill about everything. I never see him anymore. I don't know what to do! If anything, I just want to yell and scream at him for abandoning us. I want to tell him to find his real heart and figure out exactly what he wants to do in life. I want answers, but as fate would have it I never get the chance to say anything to him.
Scratch that. I have around five minutes every morning. But is that enough? No, it's not enough. It's not enough to tell him to get his head out of wherever it's at and back down to earth, to tell him to apologize to Savvy for missing her party, for me to apologize to him for being so stupid (and annoying). It's not enough time to confess as to why I've been drowning myself into anime/mangas like Naruto, crying over what they have to go through and why I identify with my two favorite characters so much. It's not enough to say I've been locking myself in my room when my mind wanders and brings me to confront my image of him and to just cry my heart out as it shatters before my eyes.
I don't know why it feels this way. Call it hormones, call it love, I don't give a damn. I feel like shit every time I come face to face with this reality.
Kudos to those who actually read the whole damn thing.
~Yugi-chan
I am seriously pissed at a guy right now. After all this time, he's still avoiding me. He wouldn't come to my Halloween Party, nor Savvy's birthday party. I was so stupid. He lied about why he couldn't come, both times. For my Halloween Party, he said his parents wouldn't be able to get him here. I thought we had repaired our friendship, because we had a decent conversation over the phone. But no, he lied. He went to a Haunted House with another chick. I called him four times on his cellphone. He disconnected on me thrice, then on the last time he let it ring so I could leave a message.
It's not the chick that irks me. It's that he LIED. AGAIN. Dammit, does he not understand that I gave up hope a long time ago? Yes, I still like him (why and how, I have no idea), but it doesn't mean that I can't understand why he'd want to go out with another chick. Dude, we broke up. YOU'RE FREE. Do what you want. Just stop LYING, DAMMIT!
To top it off, he didn't come to Savvy's party because he was "tired". THAT IS NO EXCUSE! Does the trio mean nothing to him? We're supposed to be friends, to be there for each other. This was Savvy's last birthday with us since she's moving. AND HE MISSES OUT BECAUSE HE WAS "TIRED".
And you know what? I felt helpless at Savvy's party. The already shattered hope was tossed away with knowing he wouldn't come. When a slow song played and pairs went out to dance, I fled the area to find a dark room so I could just cry. I cried about him, I cried about being ashamed of leaving the dance, I cried about how stupid I was around him. And then the song came on. The song that Savvy and I can't help but laugh and dance to. I dashed out of that damned room as fast as I could to find Savvy hurt and sitting in a chair, crying. I felt so stupid. I ran to her, and put my hand on her shoulder.
It takes three to make a trio. Why won't the other person join us? I wish I could ask him, and just spill about everything. I never see him anymore. I don't know what to do! If anything, I just want to yell and scream at him for abandoning us. I want to tell him to find his real heart and figure out exactly what he wants to do in life. I want answers, but as fate would have it I never get the chance to say anything to him.
Scratch that. I have around five minutes every morning. But is that enough? No, it's not enough. It's not enough to tell him to get his head out of wherever it's at and back down to earth, to tell him to apologize to Savvy for missing her party, for me to apologize to him for being so stupid (and annoying). It's not enough time to confess as to why I've been drowning myself into anime/mangas like Naruto, crying over what they have to go through and why I identify with my two favorite characters so much. It's not enough to say I've been locking myself in my room when my mind wanders and brings me to confront my image of him and to just cry my heart out as it shatters before my eyes.
I don't know why it feels this way. Call it hormones, call it love, I don't give a damn. I feel like shit every time I come face to face with this reality.
Kudos to those who actually read the whole damn thing.
~Yugi-chan