jaded
everytime i come here to type something depressing comes out.
i am not happy with my life. i miss my friends!!!!!!!!!! i miss them so much. yesterday i found the pictures of me and jackie at the park and my hair was so fucking long. i was 18. i can't believe it's been so long already since those memories. and no jackie, i didn't know you lived in baton rouge now because you don't call me. whenever i call you i don't feel like leaving a voicemail. i miss you. i miss us! i miss me and you and jason and harry and josh and tus and gretchen sitting in your apartment. fucking call me!!!!! okay? my number has not changed since like 9th grade when i had the biggest cellphone ever made. fucking CALL ME!!!!! call me!!!!!
today i raced for the cure and it was great but i'm too sad to write about that now. hi brandi. i miss you too bitch!! life changes over the course of a few years and then all of a sudden one day i woke up and realized everything was different. i miss my old friends so much. everyone has either moved away from me or died.
i hate writing in this journal and i fucking hate being this emotional when i can't pull myself out of it and all i can do is cry then stop. cry then stop. i wish i had better posture. i wish i took vitamins. i wish i made decisions for the future instead of for the right now. i wish i wasn't raised the way i was raised. and most of all i wish i had the willpower to change the few things i DO have control over. but i am lazy, unmotivated, and jaded. i hate living! i hate all the fucking bullshit that you have to go through for everything. everything has bullshit attatched. i'm ending this shit now
i am not happy with my life. i miss my friends!!!!!!!!!! i miss them so much. yesterday i found the pictures of me and jackie at the park and my hair was so fucking long. i was 18. i can't believe it's been so long already since those memories. and no jackie, i didn't know you lived in baton rouge now because you don't call me. whenever i call you i don't feel like leaving a voicemail. i miss you. i miss us! i miss me and you and jason and harry and josh and tus and gretchen sitting in your apartment. fucking call me!!!!! okay? my number has not changed since like 9th grade when i had the biggest cellphone ever made. fucking CALL ME!!!!! call me!!!!!
today i raced for the cure and it was great but i'm too sad to write about that now. hi brandi. i miss you too bitch!! life changes over the course of a few years and then all of a sudden one day i woke up and realized everything was different. i miss my old friends so much. everyone has either moved away from me or died.
i hate writing in this journal and i fucking hate being this emotional when i can't pull myself out of it and all i can do is cry then stop. cry then stop. i wish i had better posture. i wish i took vitamins. i wish i made decisions for the future instead of for the right now. i wish i wasn't raised the way i was raised. and most of all i wish i had the willpower to change the few things i DO have control over. but i am lazy, unmotivated, and jaded. i hate living! i hate all the fucking bullshit that you have to go through for everything. everything has bullshit attatched. i'm ending this shit now