mur chrimuh
bad stuff, then good stuff.
erin cornered me at ben's party and we talked about the ryan thing. i was drunk and i should have said so much more, but i didn't. the general idea of what i said to her is correct, but i wanted to add a lot. didn't help that i was on my way out and needed to leave. i maintained that i am innocent, however.
on the same side, ryan and i had cordial banter at the party. whatever. i understand and finally accept that he will NEVER believe me, and there is nothing i can do to change his mind because he is as stubborn as i am. granted, the bullshit "evidence" that he's going on points to me, because i (still) think he made it up.
my parents had this to say though, since i didn't do it, and if he's not making it up, then one of my friends is letting me take the fall for them....and that is probably the most shitty aspect of this thing.
and no i cannot get over this yet because it still hurts, he is still wrong, and i still think only 2 people believe me and the rest just don't want to take sides. this is my name we're talking about. so if you think i need to move on, i agree--but i can't just yet.
OKAY now the good stuff. ben's party was friggin awesome. i brought hottie josh from work...check how cool this kid is. he gets in my car and we're almost to the party and he offers to pack a bowl. so we smoke (FIRE ass weed, by the way, holy shit) and i'm trying to find music that both of us enjoy, and he says "do you like lovage?" as a matter of fact i do, and have been listening to lovage nonstop all week. cool points for you, josh. so we ride around for 45 minutes getting high, listening to music, and talking. found out he's a taurus. he's my age. we have lots of little things in common, which made for easy conversation. i thought i'd be nervous but i was very comfortable with him.
the party itself was huge. crowded rooms, dj ipod throwin it down, ben burned me two cds!! madvillain and dj zinc fuckin right. stephen and doris made a brief appearance and by brief i mean that if they were naked, they would have been streaking. josh knew a few people there but we stuck by the deangelos crew. fun stuff there. we all decided to leave around 2 or something. went to christina's, had a mini after party, smoked a lot of bud, then around 3 i took josh home and headed home myself. good times. i did not get a kiss goodnight so i fear that i will be trapped in the friend zone forever! i hope not.
my mom came into deangelos for lunch thursday and josh brought her her salad. the very first fucking thing she said to me when we were home together--"and i wanna know who brought me my salad, he is gorgeous, he should be a model" i was like yeah i know, he's a beautiful beautiful boy, and he's my date tonight wooooooooo! the whole time at the party i was THISCLOSE to sticking my hand in his hair and just....ahhh....but i managed to restrain my drunk and high self. i couldn't take my eyes off of him though.
anyway yesterday i saw him again when we went to pick up our checks, and i gave him the lovage cd i burned for him. werd. then i gave deon a ride to cash his check, get beer, and weed ALL in one stop!!! haha we made jokes about that one. then we went shopping for a few minutes, then i took him home and we smoked a blunt with his ol lady. then i got out of there and called josh again. we took a buying smoke ride and all was right with the world. that kid is a cool motherfucker with a good head on his shoulders.
so today is christmas, and it's definitely better than last year. i'm only two weeks away from being 21, two weeks away from not smoking (i'm serious), and two weeks away from matt leaving. i think i'll go see him later today after my family leaves. or before. whatever. but right now i'm going to see brandi, then taylor, then who knows!
erin cornered me at ben's party and we talked about the ryan thing. i was drunk and i should have said so much more, but i didn't. the general idea of what i said to her is correct, but i wanted to add a lot. didn't help that i was on my way out and needed to leave. i maintained that i am innocent, however.
on the same side, ryan and i had cordial banter at the party. whatever. i understand and finally accept that he will NEVER believe me, and there is nothing i can do to change his mind because he is as stubborn as i am. granted, the bullshit "evidence" that he's going on points to me, because i (still) think he made it up.
my parents had this to say though, since i didn't do it, and if he's not making it up, then one of my friends is letting me take the fall for them....and that is probably the most shitty aspect of this thing.
and no i cannot get over this yet because it still hurts, he is still wrong, and i still think only 2 people believe me and the rest just don't want to take sides. this is my name we're talking about. so if you think i need to move on, i agree--but i can't just yet.
OKAY now the good stuff. ben's party was friggin awesome. i brought hottie josh from work...check how cool this kid is. he gets in my car and we're almost to the party and he offers to pack a bowl. so we smoke (FIRE ass weed, by the way, holy shit) and i'm trying to find music that both of us enjoy, and he says "do you like lovage?" as a matter of fact i do, and have been listening to lovage nonstop all week. cool points for you, josh. so we ride around for 45 minutes getting high, listening to music, and talking. found out he's a taurus. he's my age. we have lots of little things in common, which made for easy conversation. i thought i'd be nervous but i was very comfortable with him.
the party itself was huge. crowded rooms, dj ipod throwin it down, ben burned me two cds!! madvillain and dj zinc fuckin right. stephen and doris made a brief appearance and by brief i mean that if they were naked, they would have been streaking. josh knew a few people there but we stuck by the deangelos crew. fun stuff there. we all decided to leave around 2 or something. went to christina's, had a mini after party, smoked a lot of bud, then around 3 i took josh home and headed home myself. good times. i did not get a kiss goodnight so i fear that i will be trapped in the friend zone forever! i hope not.
my mom came into deangelos for lunch thursday and josh brought her her salad. the very first fucking thing she said to me when we were home together--"and i wanna know who brought me my salad, he is gorgeous, he should be a model" i was like yeah i know, he's a beautiful beautiful boy, and he's my date tonight wooooooooo! the whole time at the party i was THISCLOSE to sticking my hand in his hair and just....ahhh....but i managed to restrain my drunk and high self. i couldn't take my eyes off of him though.
anyway yesterday i saw him again when we went to pick up our checks, and i gave him the lovage cd i burned for him. werd. then i gave deon a ride to cash his check, get beer, and weed ALL in one stop!!! haha we made jokes about that one. then we went shopping for a few minutes, then i took him home and we smoked a blunt with his ol lady. then i got out of there and called josh again. we took a buying smoke ride and all was right with the world. that kid is a cool motherfucker with a good head on his shoulders.
so today is christmas, and it's definitely better than last year. i'm only two weeks away from being 21, two weeks away from not smoking (i'm serious), and two weeks away from matt leaving. i think i'll go see him later today after my family leaves. or before. whatever. but right now i'm going to see brandi, then taylor, then who knows!