proactive & explicitness
As i told myself, i can really move on from now. Everything has been confirmed and i can't do anything now but to wish everyone happy. I feel like being dumped again. Well, i blame myself.
I can quit all the "guessing game" in my mind now.
I went to Henderson Wave myself yesterday once again. I tried to think back all the things happened to me for the past 1.5 years. The only really happy thing happened to me was completion of my degree study. Really. No more study, revision for exam etc...
I SMS-ed Jon last week. I told him that i can't go dating with him as it is very unfair to him as i still have feeling for someone. So i still don't have date after 1.5 yrs... Sigh.
Friends are right. They also said that i am passive. I admit it that i am passive. If i put in effort, maybe things would change. I don't know about you guys, but to myself, i was dumped by someone, that's why i felt inferior to him already. If you ask me to someone if can patch back or something. It was not possible for me to do so. I would think myself cheap. 被抛弃的人，永远都是失败者。That's why i never took action but wait and think and hope something good would happen.
Ryan, a friend, also shouted at me last night when i explained something to him. He said he simply couldn't understand what i was going to say. Yeah, it is my weak point too, quite serious one. How to express my feeling explicitly? I think not only him but many people misunderstood me because of me being like that too. Many times, i just did not want to argue with people, so i just 敷衍了事 but Ryan scolded me, he said i owed him an explanation. Okay, i explained to him. He said "Good". This is the thing i always neglected in the past, people has different thoughts. I can't just think that people will understand the reasons i do things. Misunderstandings occur because it lacks explanations, communications.
Greg called me last night when i was driving too. Chatted a little bit of this also. He is magnanimous guy actually. He pointed out that i always BO SIM to contact him. He said he always call me for chat but i never took initiative to call him. Well, i explain to him that i am not good at this PR-ing, socialising etc. I never put in enough effort. Sigh...
Actually i thought what i want in a relationship is simple thing - I only wish to find the right correct person and then i will stick to him forever. I told my EXs about this. But, it is not simple.
I love someone but in a wrong way.
I thought i could get over it 1st. I am jealous. But think of this: 爱一个人并不需要留他在身旁，而是祝福他找到自己的幸福。
I hope Love will become Loved soon too, i need to move on.
Whatever i said, this is my love diary.
I can quit all the "guessing game" in my mind now.
I went to Henderson Wave myself yesterday once again. I tried to think back all the things happened to me for the past 1.5 years. The only really happy thing happened to me was completion of my degree study. Really. No more study, revision for exam etc...
I SMS-ed Jon last week. I told him that i can't go dating with him as it is very unfair to him as i still have feeling for someone. So i still don't have date after 1.5 yrs... Sigh.
Friends are right. They also said that i am passive. I admit it that i am passive. If i put in effort, maybe things would change. I don't know about you guys, but to myself, i was dumped by someone, that's why i felt inferior to him already. If you ask me to someone if can patch back or something. It was not possible for me to do so. I would think myself cheap. 被抛弃的人，永远都是失败者。That's why i never took action but wait and think and hope something good would happen.
Ryan, a friend, also shouted at me last night when i explained something to him. He said he simply couldn't understand what i was going to say. Yeah, it is my weak point too, quite serious one. How to express my feeling explicitly? I think not only him but many people misunderstood me because of me being like that too. Many times, i just did not want to argue with people, so i just 敷衍了事 but Ryan scolded me, he said i owed him an explanation. Okay, i explained to him. He said "Good". This is the thing i always neglected in the past, people has different thoughts. I can't just think that people will understand the reasons i do things. Misunderstandings occur because it lacks explanations, communications.
Greg called me last night when i was driving too. Chatted a little bit of this also. He is magnanimous guy actually. He pointed out that i always BO SIM to contact him. He said he always call me for chat but i never took initiative to call him. Well, i explain to him that i am not good at this PR-ing, socialising etc. I never put in enough effort. Sigh...
Actually i thought what i want in a relationship is simple thing - I only wish to find the right correct person and then i will stick to him forever. I told my EXs about this. But, it is not simple.
I love someone but in a wrong way.
I thought i could get over it 1st. I am jealous. But think of this: 爱一个人并不需要留他在身旁，而是祝福他找到自己的幸福。
I hope Love will become Loved soon too, i need to move on.
Whatever i said, this is my love diary.