Mother's Extensive Roadtrip Part Three: Supply Run

[yucca_isnt_porn]

When you're about to do some massive structual and landscaping damage to any area, you have to do some shopping. And sadly, the Winnebago, while nicely stocked for the trip and stuffed to the brim with equipment, doesn't have enough stuff to really knock any sort of reasonable dent

Comments

[foxy_l33t]

Laini glances up from fiddling with a program on her PDA, and gives a sideways look out the window at the store.

"... Aw, Mother. And you really were thinking of me the whole time."

[yucca_isnt_porn]

"Really? I was thinking that Black Mesa might need a petting zoo."

[foxy_l33t]

Laini does her best to turn her snicker into a cough (ie, not that well), and then slips the PDA back into its pocket.

"There's a kilt joke in here somewhere if we dig deep enough, really. Are we going to inflate them with helium for some really entertaining UFOs, or...?"

[yucca_isnt_porn]

"Or possibly super-glue them down to the ground and make them really hard to take off the course." He isn't bothering to hide that smile, or the faint chuckling.

The door is opened and held with a little bow. "Ladies first."

[foxy_l33t]

Laini smiles smugly, and steps out of the RV with every iota of grace and decorum of a fine lady exiting a carriage.

Even if she is a Fox wearing daisy dukes, a midriff blouse, and said carriage is a Winnabago.

"Do you think I should run some interference on the poor clerk? So if he ever does get questioned by the local authorities, he hardly remembers a thing about a man buying up his stock of inflatable sheep?"

By Laini's grin, this may be nearly impossible for her to do, but she is more than willing to give it a shot!

[yucca_isnt_porn]

"I think they only carry 12 or so in stock at any one time, but if you can do so, by all means," Mother's exit from the vehicle is much less graceful and decent, think shambling from the hangover of last night's adventure. "Give it a shot!"

The sex shops in Nevada come in two flavors, there's the kind that has neon lights everywhere and windows displaying bondage goods and then there's the kind that is just a plain sign with a windowless building, giving no details as to what lays inside.

Sadly, this one is one of the latter, owing to the fact that the shiny stores don't usually put inflatible sheep on the shelves. The narration refuses to answer why they know this.

[foxy_l33t]

Well, given the lack of neon, Laini doubts this is the sort of place that carries novelty sci-fi vibrators. But all things considered, it more than likely has a very good stock of bootleg porn vids.

Only one way to find out.

With a bright, vacant smile and a nightclub walk, Laini saunters inside the store. The lighting in the corners is thankfully dim, the shelves dusty, and the one clerk behind the register is sitting with his feet up on the counter, paging through a vintage issue of Hustler. He looks up-

Well, Laini certainly did put her shapeshifting abilities to good use- as the clerk does not seem to be able to move his eyes off of her chest.

Ahem.

Winking, Laini leans over the counter.

"'Morning, handsome. I'm wondering- would you maybe have a copy of Tailshakers 8, the Pizza Invasion?"

That episode is considered a classic, in some places in Underhill.

[yucca_isnt_porn]

...Mother is not asking where Laini learned that trick. He's staring with the clerk for moment, since his brain really never is home anyways.

The clerk's eyes never stray from the magical talking breasts that are laying on his counter, sitting upright.

"Uh....yeh...I think uh-huh... it's over in the uh-huh-uh Gonzo section..."

[foxy_l33t]

Laini would be batting her eyes here-

Except no one is really looking at her face, at the moment.

"Mind showing me?"

[yucca_isnt_porn]

"Sure." Clerk Lazy of the S.S. Jackoff has now just left his register and on target, following the twin commanders. "Right this way."

Aaaaand that's Mother's cue to start raiding and going through the shelves of inflatible love-toys. Donkey, sheep...

You know what, Mother's not even going to ask about the inflatible love-lioness and the pony. While Clerk, whose nametag now shows his name is Kenny, is busy showing Laini the Gonzo section...there's a small stack of boxes piling up by the register.

[foxy_l33t]

DHS tapes are almost considered antiques in Laini's time-

Most bootleg anythings would have been burned onto DVDs after being downloaded online.

It's quite a blast from the past, and Laini is quite enjoying herself!

"Oooo-OOO-oooh! Is that Debbie Does Dallas: Part Two: Y'all Come Again?"

Conveniently located on the bottom shelf.

Well, Kenny isn't looking at her chest for a few moments, now.

[yucca_isnt_porn]

From that gurgling sounds, Kenny's not going to be talking without giving someone a saliva shower either.

Laini could probably tell him to burn something down and he would do it if it meant he'd get laid by the lady browsing porn in front of him. He certainly doesn't notice the stack of boxes piling up at the register.

[foxy_l33t]

Nice to know, that even after all this time, she still has it.

Even if all Laini is doing with 'it' is dazzling easily-impressed porn shop clerks.

Every couple of minutes, she does manage to glance up to the counter, and when it seems like Mother has cleared out the store's stock of inflatable sheep, Laini starts meandering her way back in that direction.

"Oh, now really, Kenny- Kenny, was it? Such a strong name. But as I was saying, I haven't seen a collection this big in such a long, long time. Your stock is simply, simply...

Enormous."

[yucca_isnt_porn]

Laini, you better hope Mother packed wet-naps in the RV, cause Kenny is saying it with spray as he babbles at her, checking out each item, both VHS's...and he's about six inflatible animals in before he looks at the boxes.

Then the light just goes on in the back of his head, staring at the inflatible 'leona the love lioness' with realistic velvety vinyl...and then slowly at Laini.

"Uh...I must've grabbed this by mistake."

[foxy_l33t]

"Oh, not at all." Laini chuckles, and winks at Kenny.

"Party favors for a bash I'm throwing. It gets a little wild, no pun intended."

[yucca_isnt_porn]

.

.

.

"...uh."

Laini you broke his brain.

"....will that be cash or credit card?"