more music, more stage
there was this concert today. only one song I sung, wine-red dress, high heels, heavy make-up that wouldn't make me pale like dead in single yet strong spot light they placed on me. it felt good... although I've been appearing on stage here and there with bands, I can't actually remember the last time I was only responsible for myself, my voice. don't get me wrong, I love singing with a band, it's fantastic to be together with people I know and like and all... but today I could forget about everything beside the song, I just drowned into it, melted and changed into the sound. there was my voice and no more 'me' as a person.
I love singing on big stages. when the lights make public hardly visible, when the music is all around me, when I can feel no fear of making mistakes. does it mean there's no mistakes? I don't know why, but somehow it turns out that the bigger the stage, the better I am. Once I thought it's all because I can't see the people on the other side. Because I'm still there more for myself than for them. I learned fake smiles, small talks and interactions but it's still unimportant if there really is anybody listening or just me and the lights. If only I could have a stage in my room, I wouldn't have to go anywhere.
However, I no longer think it's exactly like that. Of course I do it, I sing, because I want it and need it. But I'm happy when people like it and I want to give them more of this special feeling arising deep inside me when I hold a microphone.
Cause you know, it's pure magic. Magic came out tonight and blessed all of us, singers and let us make the whole concert shine. Whoever was coming back from stage, was shining with a smile and saying how good it felt, how good public is, how the stage... you know, 'fits'. There are times and places when stage doesn't fit, but this time it was perfect.
When I was first assigned to the event, I was a little afraid. The director, who was once my instructor, put my song at the very end, right before the final piece everybody were to sing together and then she said she doesn't need to practice with me. Such a high tension, and she has nothing to say? Nice to know she trusts me this much, but honestly, I wouldn't mind coming for a practice once or twice, and hearing her opinion. Plus the music, cause I had no idea of what the arrangement might be until today's morning '-_-. Just knew the formula. Anyway, it went out great. The wild animal inside my stomach cried for more, but that's nothing new. I'm happy.
I love singing on big stages. when the lights make public hardly visible, when the music is all around me, when I can feel no fear of making mistakes. does it mean there's no mistakes? I don't know why, but somehow it turns out that the bigger the stage, the better I am. Once I thought it's all because I can't see the people on the other side. Because I'm still there more for myself than for them. I learned fake smiles, small talks and interactions but it's still unimportant if there really is anybody listening or just me and the lights. If only I could have a stage in my room, I wouldn't have to go anywhere.
However, I no longer think it's exactly like that. Of course I do it, I sing, because I want it and need it. But I'm happy when people like it and I want to give them more of this special feeling arising deep inside me when I hold a microphone.
Cause you know, it's pure magic. Magic came out tonight and blessed all of us, singers and let us make the whole concert shine. Whoever was coming back from stage, was shining with a smile and saying how good it felt, how good public is, how the stage... you know, 'fits'. There are times and places when stage doesn't fit, but this time it was perfect.
When I was first assigned to the event, I was a little afraid. The director, who was once my instructor, put my song at the very end, right before the final piece everybody were to sing together and then she said she doesn't need to practice with me. Such a high tension, and she has nothing to say? Nice to know she trusts me this much, but honestly, I wouldn't mind coming for a practice once or twice, and hearing her opinion. Plus the music, cause I had no idea of what the arrangement might be until today's morning '-_-. Just knew the formula. Anyway, it went out great. The wild animal inside my stomach cried for more, but that's nothing new. I'm happy.