*yawn* why is it all so complicated???
well after what happened with johnny i have no inclination to date for a LONG time.
i can't even figure out what happened, i keep going through the events....
it just doesn't make sense.
the only things i found were things that i already knew.
that was that lauren is a lying back stabbing bitch and johnny has no back bone.
he was scared, that is the only conclusion that makes any ounce of sense.
i just can't believe it, it was so perfect and then it just fell apart...
it was so....sudden...
i really thought he was different, that he thought of me as something other than "just another pretty girl"
looks like i was wrong again.
he turned out just like all the others.
just another loser.
i am soooo glad i didn't have sex with him.
but maybe thats why it fell apart cause i wouldn't fuck him and lauren would or that stupid anna (whoever the fuck she is).
i could've done it too, it was all there in front of me.
we were on the damn bed, door was closed and there were condoms right there next to us.
we were alone on the beach at 11:00 pm.
nothing was stopping us.
but maybe had i gone against my better judgement then maybe i would've gotten more hurt.
but you know what they say, or at least what i've always said.....
"it gets easier each time your heart is broken"
*groan* i seem to get more confused by the minute.
but i'll get over him, i always do.
on a lighter note a lot has been going on.....
such as the ALKALINE TRIO CONCERT!!!
on the 27th.
Hell Yes!
and i got a piece of shit camera from my mom, but it is a camera.
(as shitty as it is)
i LOVE taking pictures!
and we're moving to ocean beach.
which makes me kinda nervous.
'cause of lauren and johnny.
but apparently they don't go down to newport very often, so i think i'm safe.
and highschool is next year.
(i just hope johnny changes schools like he said)
'cause dealing with lauren and anna and whoever else they haven't already turned against me.
not that i need much help....lol!
i tend to piss enough people off and make enough enemies as it is.
maybe i should change schools.....*thinking*
anyway i was a little annoyed at zoey 'cause all she could talk about was
"lauren let me borrow her ipod"
"laurens bf, zach, bought me a comic"
"we got a picture of johnny in his boxers and he didn't even know"
"i'm at laurens house and btw she says fuck you"
the list goes on and on....
but i guess i'll just have to deal with it.
i hope she'll eventually realize that she making a mistake being friends with them.
but i don't want to get carried away going on about something that i can't change.
anyway.... =)
let's talk about video games!
lol.
so after getting stuck on xenosaga and myst...
and then breaking my ddr pad ...
i threw up my hands in frustration...
and took off for game stop!
i got final fantasy XII
(is that right)
anyway......*yawn*
i'm gonna go make some coffee....
oh and i'm reading a great book
it's a prologue to the eye of the world.
yep, okay, ttyl.