[Fanfic] A Day in the Office: A Majin Tantei Nogami Neuro story
Title: A Day in the Office
Word Count: About 1000
Rating: K+ (PG) to be safe
Comments: I wrote this more than a month ago and never got around to posting it.
A Day in the Office
“Ack!” Yako said, face planting as Neuro tripped her.
“Miss Yako has told me the solution to this mystery!” he said cheerfully.
She pushed herself up and spat out some grass. She growled under her breath, “That jerk! Always throwing me around when he lays out the mystery.”
Yako could only let out a small sigh as she stood and felt her arm point at someone. Theatrically, she said, “The criminal is you!”
“Good, good!” Neuro whispered in her ear. “You're getting into it now. You are developing a taste for puzzles, too.” He added before launching into his usual spiel of 'sensei told me', “Just this once, I'll let you have a taste. But you can't have more than that. That's more than generous for a paramecium like you.”
“Hmph! Like I'd want more than that!” she told him even though she could see he was not listening. “Wait! What am I saying?!” Yako said smacking herself on the face. “I don't want to be like him!”
Oh, look. There he goes again with one of those “tools of the demon world”. I'm sure glad he isn't including me on this one. The last one was ten times creepier than his normal special techniques. Yako smiled wanly as Neuro credited her again for the brilliant deduction.
“See you back at the office!” Neuro said neatly disappearing around the corner.
Yako shook her head and walked off towards the office. By now, the residents, as disreputable as they were, knew better than to mess with anyone affiliated with the Dæmon World Investigator's Office. A couple of encounters with Neuro were enough to cure the worst of the lot and the rest were too afraid to end up the same way. It was a live and let live situation. There was a collective agreement that just leaving him alone would be best for their health.
Yako could not decide just how reassuring that was. True, she was left alone when she went to “work” but, on the other hand, she would rather not be there at all.
Listlessly, she waved at Godai as she continued up the stairs. He did not look up as he flipped her off.
She stepped into the office and looked around cautiously. Nope. There was no Neuro hanging around in the rafters or doing a Spider-man impression on the wall.
Akane gleefully swished her hair at Yako and grabbed the hairbrush. When Yako walked by and sat down on the couch, Akane chunked the hairbrush at her head.
“Ow! Gee, Akane. You're picking up bad habits from Neuro.” She picked the brush up from where it landed on the floor and walked over to Akane.
“What is that about bad habits?” Neuro said, climbing in through the window. From above the window.
“Nothing!” Yako snapped. Her expression turned horrified as something with lots of sharp points appeared out of the corner of her eye. “You're teaching Akane bad habits! That's what I said! Nothing else!”
“”Ohhhh, I thought I was teaching her the proper way to treat slaves.”
Yako twitched but did not voice what she was really thinking. “How did this 'puzzle' taste?” she asked, curiously. Once he mentioned how his puzzles tasted and, despite his verbally descriptive imagery (which frequently left Yako feeling nauseous), she was curious to see what he thought about each one. That and he would lay off abusing her while he described the meal. That made it worth putting up with a little nausea.
He sprawled out on the couch as Yako undid Akane's braid and began to brush the hair. “The delicious tar flavor was supported by a delicate touch of sulfur and nicotine. Or, that is the closest approximation to the flavor that your tiny mind can comprehend. I don't believe I'll need another puzzle for three days.”
“Does that mean-” Yako perked up and looked at him hopefully.
“No.”
“But I didn't-”
“Only on one condition.”
“What would that be?” Yako asked. A feeling of dread descended upon her. Akane patted her on the shoulder.
“Lick my shoes.”
“Gah!” she said, jumping back into the wall. “Gee, and all I wanted to do was hang out with friends.”
“Oh, is that all? Very well. But I must be able to reach you in case a particularly delicious smelling puzzle comes along.”
“Would you please quit messing with my head?” Yako humphed. She let out a squawk of dismay as Neuro reached all the way over and grabbed her head, leaving something with lots of tentacles on it.
“Now I'm messing with your head,” he said, throwing off an innocent look. That sparkled.
“Get it off, get it off!” she said, desperately trying to pull it off. Akane joined in and a few minutes later, they got it off. She watched nervously as it climbed into the rafters and curled up in a dark corner.
“Thanks, Akane. Let me finish up with your braid. Tomorrow, I'll bring this spray that is supposed to make it extra shiny.” Akane swished happily.
“I'll see you tomorrow, Neuro.” He waved negligently at her.
“Oh! Wait, I saved you a taste of the puzzle,” he said cheerfully, holding out his open hand to her. Cautiously, she walked forward and looked at it. It was a small bit of gunky blackness that looked highly unappealing. She cringed when it wiggled slightly, in a manner reminiscent of jello. She held a hand up to her mouth. Yako knew she was not going to be eating any thing that looked remotely like gelatin for a long time.
She swallowed back the nauseous feeling. “Uh, you can have it. You know I have no refinement in my sense of taste,” she said, taking small steps back. “I know I won't appreciate it as much as you.”
“Hmm, you're correct.” He popped the left over bit of 'puzzle' in his mouth and grinned.
“Later, Neuro!” Yako said, wanting to get away from the insanity that was a regular day at the office.