Dear Person There

[undrthtpaprmoon]

Comments

[sporkmetender]

Dear "Person" There,

This one time, at band camp, I had a close encounter of the orgasmic kind with my flute. Actually, it was my best friend's flute, but don't tell her, okay? I love watching her put her mouth on it.

Anyway, my question is: what's the craziest instrument/accessory YOU'VE had a close encounter with, and would you do it again? Details, plz.

Sincerely,
Sporkfucker

[pdt_bear]

I has no good fingering for the piano, but I can play the trumpet, the clarinet and the bass clarinet.

I've been told that I've got a good embouchure for the trumpet. Would I do it again... I dunno, so hard to give up horn instruments after these many years. Is there a limit?

That's the instrument answer.

The accessory answer - there is no answer that doesn't involve demonstration and practice and all that. :P

Best regards,
"Person" Here :)

[la_fono]

Do you feel playing wind instruments/brass has given you an edge in the going-down department? I understand clarinet players have good mouth muscles blowjob-wise.

[pdt_bear]

I can offer no testimonials. :P

Anyone playing some sort of woodwind/brass instrument ends up learning how to suck and blow at the same time. :P Very important for those endlessly long notes that carry over several bars. :)

[sporkmetender]

In my experience, it is very difficult to achieve "bad" fingering. Especially on a grand piano! So dramatic! So sexy! Never mind the uncomfortably hard lacquered wood! Hard wood (heh heh)!

Ahem.

So, let's say that a hypothetical person is interested in arranging for one of these "demonstrations" you mentioned. How would said hypothetical person go about drooling over you watching one?

[pdt_bear]

*COUGH*

uHM. Said hypothetical person would have to make arrangements for an appointment meeting with a hypothetical assistant-slash-secretary-slash-all-round-planner person. There is no watching. Nope.

All demonstrations are hands-on. Instrumental practice 101. :: nod ::

[sporkmetender]

Excellent. The, uh, hypothetical person would like to arrange such a hands-on "practice" for her birthday. How would she go about contacting this assistant-cum-(heh!)-all-around-planner person?

[pdt_bear]

*coughs again* :: checks the date ::

Oh Happy Birthday! :D

I'll ask the quasi-assistant-secretary-all-around-planner!Emily to stop by the Hypothetical Person this day. :: nod :: Delegation is important :D

[sporkmetender]

Thanks :D

*nods agreement regarding delegation*

I'd love to set something up with Emily. Like, maybe a massage table...

[pdt_bear]

The quasi!Emily I know wouldn't carry a massage table. She'd pass that task onto quasi!minion!Andrea. However, Emily has asked that I duly note that she takes very good care of her hands...

[sporkmetender]

Duly (and gleefully!) noted. Now, to tidy up the apt... *sets out candles...*

[pdt_bear]

:: shakes head :: I can offer you no guarantees on the level of satisfaction. quasi!Emily has never mentioned exactly what is entailed. She always returns with a smirk and a nod. I hope that's enough.

[sporkmetender]

As long as the smirk and the nod come with a sooper-sexi British accent, you will get no complaints from me :D

[pdt_bear]

I'll be sure to remind quasi!Emily of your requirements. :D

[sporkmetender]

Please do. She better not bring any half-baked American talk up in dis hurr apartment. I will bitchslap her like crazy :P (no worries, tho, I'll wear a glove for sure *nods*)

[pdt_bear]

Half the time I don't even understand quasi!Emily's language, but it certainly is amusing because of the increased frustration that just builds until she's left describing the rest of us as wankers and such.