Comments | ysabetwordsmith: Poem: "Those Who Were Made"

ysabetwordsmith

Poem: "Those Who Were Made"

Jan 13, 2010 00:17

This poem came out of the Tuesday, January 5 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by a prompt from kestrels_nest. It was selected in the generally sponsored poetry poll.

Those Who Were Made

Those who came first
Became those who made.

Those who were made
Served their makers well,
But in time, the makers faded away,
And those who were made got lost.

Then they, too ( Read more... )

poem, reading, writing, fishbowl, poetry, cyberfunded creativity, science fiction

Comments 9

jenny_evergreen January 13 2010, 13:23:03 UTC

I confess that I rather saw the end coming, but that didn't diminish the poem at all, which I love. :)

Thoughts ysabetwordsmith January 13 2010, 21:34:48 UTC

Part of this was originally an idea for a short story, and I wondered if the ending would be too visible. So it may work better as a poem.

(The comment has been removed)

Oops... ysabetwordsmith January 13 2010, 21:34:03 UTC

It should say "And those who were made got lost." There was a word missing; I've fixed that.

I'm glad you like the idea!

teffielynne January 13 2010, 18:14:45 UTC

It made me slightly teary...excellent work!

Yay! ysabetwordsmith January 13 2010, 19:41:44 UTC

It's sweet that you found this so moving.

miintikwa January 13 2010, 18:41:55 UTC

I love this. It is really enjoyable.

Thank you! ysabetwordsmith January 13 2010, 21:31:30 UTC

I'm glad you enjoyed this.

janetmiles February 2 2010, 21:42:22 UTC

(This may be a duplicate; LJ appears to have not posted it the first time.)

When I first read this poem last month, I thought, "Cute poem." This time it made me shiver, mostly pleasurably.

Yay! ysabetwordsmith February 3 2010, 04:58:44 UTC

I love it when people find my poems worth coming back to.