Poem: "A Reminder to Stay Present in the Moment"
This poem came out of the June 4, 2023 Poetry Fishbowl. It was inspired by a prompt from Dreamwidth user Fuzzyred. It also fills the "asexual / aromantic" square in my 6-1-24 card for the Pride Fest Bingo. This poem has been sponsored by zianuray. It belongs to the Big One and Shiv threads of the Polychrome Heroics series. It directly follows "A Blues Song Waiting to Happen," so read that first or this won't make any sense.
"A Reminder to Stay Present in the Moment"
[Evening of Saturday, May 28, 2016 in Omaha, Nebraska]
Shiv had spent considerable time
packing up stuff in the storage building,
and then having pizza for supper.
After that, he wanted a bit of
peace and quiet, so he hid out
in the library reading corner
under Blues Moon, where
nobody would look for him.
It had clusters of couches
and chairs, with bookcases
full of titles on jazz, other music,
food, black history, Nebraska,
and various other subjects.
Shiv generally liked to look
at the big coffee table books
that had the most pictures.
Tonight he found Liberty Smith
curled up like a cat in one
of the fuzzy red chairs.
"You okay?" he asked.
"It's been a rough day."
"Enh," she said. "I've
been on my feet all day."
She had been on the team
of spotters assigned to watch
for runaways, refugees, or
possibly new soups at
the city's transit hubs.
"Find anyone?" Shiv said.
"We could use extra hands."
They had a ton of boxes to move,
probably tomorrow, full of dishes
and linens and other housewares.
"I found some folks who might
stick around," said Liberty. "Most
were kids, runways or refugees
or both. Lotta foster kids out west
decided to get while the gettin's good."
"Can't say I blame 'em," Shiv replied.
"Foster care is a fuckin' death trap."
"Yeah," said Liberty. "So I was
wrangling them all evening. Now I'm
cashed, but I can't seem to sit still."
Shiv looked, and yeah, her hands
were twitching like crazy. "So grab
a fidget like a normal person."
"Huh?" Liberty said. "I'm
already fidgeting enough."
"No, here, a fidget is
something you mess with,"
Shiv said, offering a basket.
"Toys?" Liberty said, poking
at them. "I'm too big for toys."
"No, tools," Shiv corrected.
"Using these helps folks relax,
or burn off nervous energy, or
focus so that they can work."
He picked up a popper with
rainbow stripes. "This one's
good when you want to move
your hands a lot," he said.
Liberty tried pushing on
the little bumps. "Yeah,
that is kinda cool," she said.
"A fidget is a reminder to stay
present in the moment," Shiv said.
"It really helps in times like this."
"Maybe a little?" Liberty said.
"How does it feel to you?"
"Fiddling with a fidget is like
a dance between my fingers
and the tool," Shiv explained.
He picked up one made from
rings and pieces of bicycle chain,
flipping it over and over in his hand,
then tossing it in the air so he could
use his superpower to keep it going.
"What are these ones?" she said,
emptying a baggie. "They're purple."
"Purple, white, gray, and black are
the ace pride colors," Shiv said. "I
found that set last week and got
some to spread around here."
Liberty picked up a set of
four metal rings linked by
beads, one of each color.
"I like this one," she said.
"Yeah, it's kind of like mine,
but with four rings it can fold
in more ways," Shiv said.
"Yarn balls?" Liberty said,
lifting some colorful spheres.
"They're pride flags," Shiv said.
"See, here's ace again. This'n
with green is aromantic, and
rainbow is everything queer."
Liberty squeezed the ace ball. "I
dunno what I am. I know I don't want
to get knocked up like my mom did,"
she said. "So is it still okay if I'm
not actually ace or whatever?"
"Yeah, anyone can use them,"
Shiv said. "You're not looking
for a boyfriend now, are you?"
"Ugh, no," said Liberty. "I just
like the way the yarn balls feel."
"Then keep one to squeeze,"
Shiv said. "It's good for hands
so that they don't cramp up."
"I wish I coulda had something
like this before," Liberty said.
"Maybe that would have helped
in school. I always sucked at that,
and then the teachers were mean."
"Then drop out like a normal person,"
Shiv said. "I hate school too, so
that's what I did, soon as I could
get free and stay that way."
"Yeah, it's basically what I did
when I ran away and came here,"
Liberty said. "But now the boss
wants me back in school this fall,
so I'm not that much better off."
"You try talking to Dr. G about
that shit?" Shiv wondered.
"Hasn't come up," she said.
"Mostly we've talked about
the head stuff because it's
superpowers and all that."
"Okay, so the next time you
talk with him, mention school
and why it sucks for you,"
Shiv suggested. "He's good
at that stuff. Maybe he can
figure out what you need so
it's not a total waste of time,
or something else you could
do instead of regular school."
"You think?" Liberty said,
sounding hopeful. "I mean,
if it'd make any sense, then
I wouldn't mind so much."
"Well, he introduced me
to some fun workshops,"
Shiv said. "Maybe he'll
find something you like."
"I guess it wouldn't hurt
to ask," Liberty said, rolling
the ring fidget in one hand
and squeezing the ball
in her other hand.
"And he won't mind
if you use a fidget, he
keeps some on his desk,"
Shiv said. "Sometimes
he brings 'em from home,
they order by the bucket."
"These come in buckets?"
Liberty said, curious.
"Buckets, boxes, bins,
all kinds of stuff," Shiv said.
"You can get the same style
or a mix like this -- it's good
to have different options since
folks don't have the same tastes."
"Yeah, I like more than one kind
from this batch," Liberty agreed.
"Plus you can make your own,"
Shiv said. "I crocheted the balls.
The ace set came from a crafter
who was doing a sidewalk sale."
"Cool," said Liberty. "How long do
you think we'll have to relax before
someone comes looking for us?"
"Maybe an hour if we're lucky,"
Shiv said. "Want me to help you
find a book? You can prop it open
on a table and still keep your hands
busy with the fidgets you picked."
"Are there any good books?" she said.
"The ones in school were all dumb."
"I like the prairie picture books,
they make good art inspiration,
and they're just pretty to look at,"
Shiv said. "Here, try this one --
Nebraska Simply Beautiful."
It was funny how much
the Finns had rubbed off on
him, that he was starting to find
books interesting instead of boring,
at least if they were the right books.
Shiv spread it open between them
on the coffee table, so that both of
them could see it at the same time.
He kept his fidget going, too, since
this had been a shitty day all around.
Still, Shiv found that he didn't mind
a reminder to stay present in the moment.
The present moment didn't suck much at all.
* * *
Notes:
This poem is long, so its notes appear elsewhere.
"A Reminder to Stay Present in the Moment"
[Evening of Saturday, May 28, 2016 in Omaha, Nebraska]
Shiv had spent considerable time
packing up stuff in the storage building,
and then having pizza for supper.
After that, he wanted a bit of
peace and quiet, so he hid out
in the library reading corner
under Blues Moon, where
nobody would look for him.
It had clusters of couches
and chairs, with bookcases
full of titles on jazz, other music,
food, black history, Nebraska,
and various other subjects.
Shiv generally liked to look
at the big coffee table books
that had the most pictures.
Tonight he found Liberty Smith
curled up like a cat in one
of the fuzzy red chairs.
"You okay?" he asked.
"It's been a rough day."
"Enh," she said. "I've
been on my feet all day."
She had been on the team
of spotters assigned to watch
for runaways, refugees, or
possibly new soups at
the city's transit hubs.
"Find anyone?" Shiv said.
"We could use extra hands."
They had a ton of boxes to move,
probably tomorrow, full of dishes
and linens and other housewares.
"I found some folks who might
stick around," said Liberty. "Most
were kids, runways or refugees
or both. Lotta foster kids out west
decided to get while the gettin's good."
"Can't say I blame 'em," Shiv replied.
"Foster care is a fuckin' death trap."
"Yeah," said Liberty. "So I was
wrangling them all evening. Now I'm
cashed, but I can't seem to sit still."
Shiv looked, and yeah, her hands
were twitching like crazy. "So grab
a fidget like a normal person."
"Huh?" Liberty said. "I'm
already fidgeting enough."
"No, here, a fidget is
something you mess with,"
Shiv said, offering a basket.
"Toys?" Liberty said, poking
at them. "I'm too big for toys."
"No, tools," Shiv corrected.
"Using these helps folks relax,
or burn off nervous energy, or
focus so that they can work."
He picked up a popper with
rainbow stripes. "This one's
good when you want to move
your hands a lot," he said.
Liberty tried pushing on
the little bumps. "Yeah,
that is kinda cool," she said.
"A fidget is a reminder to stay
present in the moment," Shiv said.
"It really helps in times like this."
"Maybe a little?" Liberty said.
"How does it feel to you?"
"Fiddling with a fidget is like
a dance between my fingers
and the tool," Shiv explained.
He picked up one made from
rings and pieces of bicycle chain,
flipping it over and over in his hand,
then tossing it in the air so he could
use his superpower to keep it going.
"What are these ones?" she said,
emptying a baggie. "They're purple."
"Purple, white, gray, and black are
the ace pride colors," Shiv said. "I
found that set last week and got
some to spread around here."
Liberty picked up a set of
four metal rings linked by
beads, one of each color.
"I like this one," she said.
"Yeah, it's kind of like mine,
but with four rings it can fold
in more ways," Shiv said.
"Yarn balls?" Liberty said,
lifting some colorful spheres.
"They're pride flags," Shiv said.
"See, here's ace again. This'n
with green is aromantic, and
rainbow is everything queer."
Liberty squeezed the ace ball. "I
dunno what I am. I know I don't want
to get knocked up like my mom did,"
she said. "So is it still okay if I'm
not actually ace or whatever?"
"Yeah, anyone can use them,"
Shiv said. "You're not looking
for a boyfriend now, are you?"
"Ugh, no," said Liberty. "I just
like the way the yarn balls feel."
"Then keep one to squeeze,"
Shiv said. "It's good for hands
so that they don't cramp up."
"I wish I coulda had something
like this before," Liberty said.
"Maybe that would have helped
in school. I always sucked at that,
and then the teachers were mean."
"Then drop out like a normal person,"
Shiv said. "I hate school too, so
that's what I did, soon as I could
get free and stay that way."
"Yeah, it's basically what I did
when I ran away and came here,"
Liberty said. "But now the boss
wants me back in school this fall,
so I'm not that much better off."
"You try talking to Dr. G about
that shit?" Shiv wondered.
"Hasn't come up," she said.
"Mostly we've talked about
the head stuff because it's
superpowers and all that."
"Okay, so the next time you
talk with him, mention school
and why it sucks for you,"
Shiv suggested. "He's good
at that stuff. Maybe he can
figure out what you need so
it's not a total waste of time,
or something else you could
do instead of regular school."
"You think?" Liberty said,
sounding hopeful. "I mean,
if it'd make any sense, then
I wouldn't mind so much."
"Well, he introduced me
to some fun workshops,"
Shiv said. "Maybe he'll
find something you like."
"I guess it wouldn't hurt
to ask," Liberty said, rolling
the ring fidget in one hand
and squeezing the ball
in her other hand.
"And he won't mind
if you use a fidget, he
keeps some on his desk,"
Shiv said. "Sometimes
he brings 'em from home,
they order by the bucket."
"These come in buckets?"
Liberty said, curious.
"Buckets, boxes, bins,
all kinds of stuff," Shiv said.
"You can get the same style
or a mix like this -- it's good
to have different options since
folks don't have the same tastes."
"Yeah, I like more than one kind
from this batch," Liberty agreed.
"Plus you can make your own,"
Shiv said. "I crocheted the balls.
The ace set came from a crafter
who was doing a sidewalk sale."
"Cool," said Liberty. "How long do
you think we'll have to relax before
someone comes looking for us?"
"Maybe an hour if we're lucky,"
Shiv said. "Want me to help you
find a book? You can prop it open
on a table and still keep your hands
busy with the fidgets you picked."
"Are there any good books?" she said.
"The ones in school were all dumb."
"I like the prairie picture books,
they make good art inspiration,
and they're just pretty to look at,"
Shiv said. "Here, try this one --
Nebraska Simply Beautiful."
It was funny how much
the Finns had rubbed off on
him, that he was starting to find
books interesting instead of boring,
at least if they were the right books.
Shiv spread it open between them
on the coffee table, so that both of
them could see it at the same time.
He kept his fidget going, too, since
this had been a shitty day all around.
Still, Shiv found that he didn't mind
a reminder to stay present in the moment.
The present moment didn't suck much at all.
* * *
Notes:
This poem is long, so its notes appear elsewhere.