Come and Cry with Me
I'm going to use this as a gathering point for the memorial stuff.
Quiet Passing
Obituary (my post) (funeral home page where you can leave comments)
In Lieu of Flowers
My Writings on Death
Poem: "Gone to Seed"
There will be a memorial service ... some time in the future, which is prepaid at Sunset Funeral Home in Danville, but the timing depends on when people will be available who plan to attend. For various reasons, that's not something I'm likely to attend.
So I'm doing my own version here, where I can do what I want. If you find any of this helpful, feel free to use it for your own needs too. For a venue, think of something like a common house or community center rather than a funeral home; and for mood, more like a wake than a funeral.
Flowers:
Chrysanthemums were one of Mom's favorite flowers, and popular for memorials. I tend to prefer gardens or potted plants to cut flowers. I've tried growing chrysanthemums without much luck, so I'll just post some pictures.
Poinsettias are another favorite, and seasonal right now. They come in several colors.
Zinnias were a summer favorite, which come in all colors. They represent affection and remembrance.
Wildflowers are a quintessential hippie adornment with many benefits. See some inspiration.
Playlist:
"The Sound of Silence" (with ice skating)
"Blowin' in the Wind"
"Where Have All the Flowers Gone?"
"Let It Be Me"
"Get Together"
"Inch by Inch"
"Cripple Creek"
"Stewball"
"Gentle Arms of Eden" courtesy of
ng_moonmoth
Menu:
I like the Southern custom of bringing food so people don't have to cook. The choices can be hit-or-miss but the concept is solid. One time there was a community funeral and a bunch of folks were off in a side building setting up the food for the potluck later. I really enjoyed pitching in with that. Food is bonding. I've been craving fresh produce and live food lately. I keep remembering that sheep yogurt, though I'd probably put it on crackers or something this time. I'm also thinking about fragrant comfort food like crockpot stew or baking bread. So share your recipes or links for bright, refreshing things or warm, soothing comfort food. Helpful ingredients for memorial food:
* Mood-boosting Foods and Teas
* Stress-relieving Foods and Soothing Herbs
* Nutrient-dense Foods and Herbs
* Easily-digestible Foods and Herbs for Digestion
* Adaptogens
Yeah, I'm just gonna set up a tea cart and a yogurt snack bar in the reception area. That has to be better than the Life of Pies that typically show up in Southern events.
Activities:
For gods' sake have options other than crying for hours. That tends to make people dizzy or queasy before long.
I like hanging around a campfire and singing, drumming, dancing, roasting marshmallows, telling stories, that sort of thing. Something I have millions of years of memories of, so they all tend to felt together. It's a good winter activity too.
Storytelling is important. I know most of you haven't met my mother in person, but if you've got a favorite poem she sponsored or a story I've told about her, share that. She was a regular supporter of Antimatter and Stalwart Stan, Calliope, and Officer Pink in particular.
Lapwork is welcome. Bring your knitting, crochet, needlework, whatever. Some of my grandmother's friends never went anywhere without their fiber bag. It was like me always having a book in my hands. Some of Mom's hippie friends were that way too.
Games offer something to do, especially if there are kids underfoot at a memorial event. I like the idea of bringing along things like dice and cards, because you can get tons of rule sets for dice games and card games. Themed or mix-and-match travel kits are good too. I'll add a pool table because Mom liked pool; we had one when I was little. She had an edge from the math when it came to pool or cards.
EDIT 12/28/21:
Many of the best things you can do for a bereaved friend are simple, practical ones. You can also help an online friend. Even if they don't mention it, they're probably very grateful. A lot can get lost in the haze. Just keep in mind: people may forget what you do, but they'll never forget how you made them feel.
Useful things people have done for us:
* Offer to drive people places.
* Make information-gathering phone calls.
* Clean out the refrigerator at my parents' house.
* Pick up groceries and bring them to the house.
Quiet Passing
Obituary (my post) (funeral home page where you can leave comments)
In Lieu of Flowers
My Writings on Death
Poem: "Gone to Seed"
There will be a memorial service ... some time in the future, which is prepaid at Sunset Funeral Home in Danville, but the timing depends on when people will be available who plan to attend. For various reasons, that's not something I'm likely to attend.
So I'm doing my own version here, where I can do what I want. If you find any of this helpful, feel free to use it for your own needs too. For a venue, think of something like a common house or community center rather than a funeral home; and for mood, more like a wake than a funeral.
Flowers:
Chrysanthemums were one of Mom's favorite flowers, and popular for memorials. I tend to prefer gardens or potted plants to cut flowers. I've tried growing chrysanthemums without much luck, so I'll just post some pictures.
Poinsettias are another favorite, and seasonal right now. They come in several colors.
Zinnias were a summer favorite, which come in all colors. They represent affection and remembrance.
Wildflowers are a quintessential hippie adornment with many benefits. See some inspiration.
Playlist:
"The Sound of Silence" (with ice skating)
"Blowin' in the Wind"
"Where Have All the Flowers Gone?"
"Let It Be Me"
"Get Together"
"Inch by Inch"
"Cripple Creek"
"Stewball"
"Gentle Arms of Eden" courtesy of
ng_moonmoth
Menu:
I like the Southern custom of bringing food so people don't have to cook. The choices can be hit-or-miss but the concept is solid. One time there was a community funeral and a bunch of folks were off in a side building setting up the food for the potluck later. I really enjoyed pitching in with that. Food is bonding. I've been craving fresh produce and live food lately. I keep remembering that sheep yogurt, though I'd probably put it on crackers or something this time. I'm also thinking about fragrant comfort food like crockpot stew or baking bread. So share your recipes or links for bright, refreshing things or warm, soothing comfort food. Helpful ingredients for memorial food:
* Mood-boosting Foods and Teas
* Stress-relieving Foods and Soothing Herbs
* Nutrient-dense Foods and Herbs
* Easily-digestible Foods and Herbs for Digestion
* Adaptogens
Yeah, I'm just gonna set up a tea cart and a yogurt snack bar in the reception area. That has to be better than the Life of Pies that typically show up in Southern events.
Activities:
For gods' sake have options other than crying for hours. That tends to make people dizzy or queasy before long.
I like hanging around a campfire and singing, drumming, dancing, roasting marshmallows, telling stories, that sort of thing. Something I have millions of years of memories of, so they all tend to felt together. It's a good winter activity too.
Storytelling is important. I know most of you haven't met my mother in person, but if you've got a favorite poem she sponsored or a story I've told about her, share that. She was a regular supporter of Antimatter and Stalwart Stan, Calliope, and Officer Pink in particular.
Lapwork is welcome. Bring your knitting, crochet, needlework, whatever. Some of my grandmother's friends never went anywhere without their fiber bag. It was like me always having a book in my hands. Some of Mom's hippie friends were that way too.
Games offer something to do, especially if there are kids underfoot at a memorial event. I like the idea of bringing along things like dice and cards, because you can get tons of rule sets for dice games and card games. Themed or mix-and-match travel kits are good too. I'll add a pool table because Mom liked pool; we had one when I was little. She had an edge from the math when it came to pool or cards.
EDIT 12/28/21:
Many of the best things you can do for a bereaved friend are simple, practical ones. You can also help an online friend. Even if they don't mention it, they're probably very grateful. A lot can get lost in the haze. Just keep in mind: people may forget what you do, but they'll never forget how you made them feel.
Useful things people have done for us:
* Offer to drive people places.
* Make information-gathering phone calls.
* Clean out the refrigerator at my parents' house.
* Pick up groceries and bring them to the house.