Poem: "It Comes First and Follows After"

[ysabetwordsmith]

This poem is from the September 18, 2012 Poetry Fishbowl.  It was inspired by a prompt from siliconshaman.  The title is a line from a riddle in The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien.  This poem has been sponsored by Anthony & Shirley Barrette.  It belongs to the Monster House series, which you can explore further on the Serial Poetry page.

Warning: This poem has a

Comments

[rhodielady_47]

Now that's a poem which will leave you thoughtful. You did a wonderful job on building the mood throughout it--very consistant--and that's hard to do.
Good Job!
:)

Thank you!

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> Now that's a poem which will leave you thoughtful. <<

That's the idea.

>> You did a wonderful job on building the mood throughout it--very consistant--and that's hard to do. <<

I like mood poems, though I don't write a lot of them. They require careful construction, because the effect works better when shown than when told. I tend to base mine on little concrete details and word choice.

Re: Thank you!

[rhodielady_47]

"I tend to base mine on little concrete details and word choice."
And it works beautifully.
Most people still have trouble with the concept of "It ain't what you say, it's how you say it," so they are clueless as to why a poem like this works.
:)

Re: Thank you!

[ysabetwordsmith]

Yes, mood pieces require subtlety. kajones_writing is doing a call for prompts and the autumn theme really led me in that direction. She handles introspection well too.

[kelkyag]

Just as well she didn't want to come in and meet her child's friends. But that would be far too human for ... whatever that was.

Note to self: ask for more lurking shadow backstory sometime.

Thoughts

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> <<

Heh ... yeah.

>> Just as well she didn't want to come in and meet her child's friends. But that would be far too human for ... whatever that was. <<

Precisely. This monster isn't a personality the way the others are. She is something more primal, more awareness than identity, if that makes sense. She's hard to describe.

Shadows are mothered by darkness and fathered by light.

>> Note to self: ask for more lurking shadow backstory sometime. <<

Sure, go for it.

[kelkyag]

Ah. Perhaps even further than I'd thought from the human sense of mother, then.

I'm not sure I'd want to meet light, either.

Well...

[ysabetwordsmith]

>>Ah. Perhaps even further than I'd thought from the human sense of mother, then.<<

She is where the shadow-spirits come from, and they know this, and they can communicate with her to a certain degree. The main difference is that she isn't reproducing herself, but creating something related with its own kind of awareness.

>>I'm not sure I'd want to meet light, either.<<

Yeah, he's probably on a similar plane. That which burns and blinds. You look at the two of them and it becomes really clear why balance is essential for survival.

[zianuray]

*sleeping with a nightlight tonight*
That's ... shuddery. Wow!

Thank you!

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> *sleeping with a nightlight tonight* <<

That's really flattering. Hee!

[ladymondegreen]

*brrr* I can really feel the goosebumps rising on my arms.

The imagery reminds me of the shadow of death passing over ancient Egypt in the bible, and the houses that were spared.

Thank you!

[ysabetwordsmith]

>> *brrr* I can really feel the goosebumps rising on my arms. <<

Yay! This has turned out to be one of the more high-impact poems from the batch.

>> The imagery reminds me of the shadow of death passing over ancient Egypt in the bible, and the houses that were spared. <<

I was thinking of that, a bit.

[thnidu]

Yaah!

I saw this link under "Ghost of a Chance". Pause, look at infinity. "Ends life, kills laughter." The kind of riddle you expect from Gollum.

Yes...

[ysabetwordsmith]

Precisely. Poor Gollum, he got eaten alive by the Ring. But he did know some excellent if creepy riddles. I couldn't resist quoting one for the title of this poem, it just fit so well.