Comments | ysabetwordsmith: Poem: "Muddled Up"

ysabetwordsmith

Poem: "Muddled Up"

Sep 18, 2012 15:32

This is the second freebie for today's fishbowl session, courtesy of new prompter jb_slasher from Dreamwidth. It was inspired by a prompt from rix_scaedu. This also fills the "Dirty/Messy" square on my card for Cottoncandy_bingo. The poem belongs to the Monster House series, and you can read more about that on the Serial Poetry page.

Muddled Up

My son stood ( Read more... )

fantasy, reading, writing, family skills, fishbowl, poetry, cyberfunded creativity, poem, humor

Comments 13

thnidu September 18 2012, 20:39:23 UTC

:-)

(Two kids of our own, + a foster.)

kelkyag September 18 2012, 20:51:52 UTC

Is the pov character here and in the last section of the other the original narrator, or the wife of the original narrator? I've never been sure of the original narrator's gender, and it's usually been obvious from context which of the human adults in the house was the pov character, but this time I don't know.

And I'll second the bogeyman, at least barring occasions when taking the time to clean up and change would create trouble ...

Well... ysabetwordsmith September 20 2012, 07:05:07 UTC

I have re-edited both poems to focus on the usual narrator, to avoid confusion.

kelkyag September 20 2012, 07:43:47 UTC

Heh. This one, that makes the gender ambiguous again, which is differently uncertain. :)

The other, I'm less sure I caught the change correctly, but the original narrator say "my girl" and "my wife", whereas I'm not sure we've ever heard Madame the Computer Geek refer to her spouse in a gendered way? Also, I think it might like a "my" before "ear".

Do you know the original narrator's gender/prefered pronouns/...? Does they prefer not to say? The only thing I can think of that pushed one way or the other was that the wife's morning sickness seemed to be something of a surprise, but that leaves plenty of room still for explanations other than the original narrator being (biologically) male.

rix_scaedu September 19 2012, 09:04:13 UTC

A very friendly earth dragon?

Yes... ysabetwordsmith September 20 2012, 05:23:24 UTC

In the mud puddle.

Re: Yes... rix_scaedu September 20 2012, 08:41:45 UTC

I thought so

e_scapism101 September 19 2012, 13:35:48 UTC

Love this! Yes, if you can fix it with soap and water, it's just really not all that bad.

Thank you! ysabetwordsmith September 20 2012, 03:46:09 UTC

That's a key feature of relaxed parenting. Not everyone thinks that way, but it does tend to lower people's stress levels.

ladymondegreen September 19 2012, 18:15:48 UTC

It sounds like the radiator dragon may have a friend in the yard eventually. :)

Lovely work!

Thank you! ysabetwordsmith September 20 2012, 04:24:11 UTC

No telling which monsters will connect with each other.