Four years and counting...
Happy Big C Day to me. ^__^
Four years ago today-- tonight, really-- I got a phone call from my oncologist, Dr. Annamaria Lopez, telling me that the lumps that'd been removed from my chest were active carcinomas and that I had breast cancer. I'll always be thankful that she called me that evening (it was about 8:15 at night) rather than waiting until the next day during regular office hours; this way I was able to call family and friends and have a rather more private little freak-out than I would've had at work.
Tonight, four years later, I'm alive. I have two scars about nine inches long each; both my breasts've been removed, and I'm flat and all that... but I'm alive. I got an object lesson in how short a time we might have and in how little control we have over that; some of it sunk in and some of it didn't, I guess. I mean, I'm no saint and there're a lot brighter people in the world than me. But... I did learn a thing or two, so I'm writing them down for my own edification if nobody else's:
1. Be careful what you keep and what you throw away; 'cause you may have a month left in the world or you may have half a century... and you won't know which it is until it ends.
2. There are more people out there who love you and/or are willing to help you than you'll ever believe, some of them really unlikely.
3. The weirdest things can make you feel better when you're hurting.
4. People feel better when they can help you. Let them.
5. Pain always stops, sooner or later. It may feel like it'll go on forever, but it won't. Nothing does.
There's more, way more, but that's what I have tonight; I'm tired and it's been a long day. But hey-- four years ago tonight, I didn't know how many more I'd have. I still don't (who does?), but tonight I'm here... and that's good.
Thanks, y'all-- my friends and my family, my doctors and nurses, everybody; thanks. ^__^
Four years ago today-- tonight, really-- I got a phone call from my oncologist, Dr. Annamaria Lopez, telling me that the lumps that'd been removed from my chest were active carcinomas and that I had breast cancer. I'll always be thankful that she called me that evening (it was about 8:15 at night) rather than waiting until the next day during regular office hours; this way I was able to call family and friends and have a rather more private little freak-out than I would've had at work.
Tonight, four years later, I'm alive. I have two scars about nine inches long each; both my breasts've been removed, and I'm flat and all that... but I'm alive. I got an object lesson in how short a time we might have and in how little control we have over that; some of it sunk in and some of it didn't, I guess. I mean, I'm no saint and there're a lot brighter people in the world than me. But... I did learn a thing or two, so I'm writing them down for my own edification if nobody else's:
1. Be careful what you keep and what you throw away; 'cause you may have a month left in the world or you may have half a century... and you won't know which it is until it ends.
2. There are more people out there who love you and/or are willing to help you than you'll ever believe, some of them really unlikely.
3. The weirdest things can make you feel better when you're hurting.
4. People feel better when they can help you. Let them.
5. Pain always stops, sooner or later. It may feel like it'll go on forever, but it won't. Nothing does.
There's more, way more, but that's what I have tonight; I'm tired and it's been a long day. But hey-- four years ago tonight, I didn't know how many more I'd have. I still don't (who does?), but tonight I'm here... and that's good.
Thanks, y'all-- my friends and my family, my doctors and nurses, everybody; thanks. ^__^