Perspective.
I just had the weirdest thing happen/nearly happen: a guy tried to get himself hit by my car.
That's not a euphemism or clever way of saying 'OMG I almost hit a guy'; he looked at my car, and then deliberately stepped out from the median about 3 feet in front of it while I was moving. I was watching him; he was moving kind of funny, jerky and hesitant, and I swerved. But I swear, if I missed him by 2 feet, that's giving it a little leeway; his shirt fluttered all over the place.
Dunno if he was drugged up or what; he had an armload of stuff (I could see some sort of 2-liter bottle and what looked like a backpack) but he was dressed like anybody going to work on a Friday, only maybe a little unkept-looking. Very, very strange; we were doing only about 20 miles an hour because somebody had just turned and were maybe 15 feet apart, if that-- you know how traffic bunches up when people slow down to let somebody turn? This was NOT a maybe-I-can-make-it dash, he stared at my car and kind of screwed up his face and stepped out.
Freaked me out BIG time. There was a line of cars behind me, I would have knocked him down and then they would have hit me and we would have all ended up on top of him.
Last night I went to bed a little upset over something, well-- okay, depends on your outlook as to what it was. Just a squabble that shouldn't have happened between friends. And now that seems really, really... small? I could have killed this guy. So, 'perspective'-- if I had hit him, how would I feel right now? What would I be doing? What would it do to my life? His life, his family's life, his friends' lives? My job, my family's feelings, my friends' concerns...
My niece Shelly hit a guy on a motorcycle once; they both simultaneously ran a 4-way-stop. She was 16 and had been driving a very short time; he was in his 50's and retired. He crashed across her hood and into her windshield and died more or less in Shelly and her passenger's lap, bleeding out; the judge ruled it a double-fault if I remember right, but it took her a long time to get over it. I don't know what I would have done.
This kind of shook me, but I guess that's visible, hm? I'm at work, and I told a couple of people in the staff lounge about it, kind of jokingly because that's part of the me-that-lives-at-work persona; I keep wondering how they would've reacted if I *had* hit him. Poor, stupid guy, drugged-out or despondent or crazy or what, I hope he got the living shit scared out of him and doesn't try that again. It was just so freaking deliberate. He really wanted me to hit him. Don't think it was the insurance-scam thing either, 'cause somebody tried that on me at a stopsign in northwest Las Vegas about 12 years ago. (Heh; I stopped short before they could jump onto my car-hood and they landed on the pavement and yelled abuse while I carefully drove around them and away. Pissed them off pretty good, too.)
(and
elinor_dear, if you're reading this, it was right in front of your apartment complex.)
Right, perspective. The stuff last night upset me because I hate to see friends fight, but right now it just feels like the whole world got shifted over a notch or two, and maybe I'm not going to worry about it or them quite as much; fights happen. So do lots of worse things, and I just barely missed out on enabling one of them today. Sure glad I was watching him that close. Glad I didn't hit him.
Need more tea.
That's not a euphemism or clever way of saying 'OMG I almost hit a guy'; he looked at my car, and then deliberately stepped out from the median about 3 feet in front of it while I was moving. I was watching him; he was moving kind of funny, jerky and hesitant, and I swerved. But I swear, if I missed him by 2 feet, that's giving it a little leeway; his shirt fluttered all over the place.
Dunno if he was drugged up or what; he had an armload of stuff (I could see some sort of 2-liter bottle and what looked like a backpack) but he was dressed like anybody going to work on a Friday, only maybe a little unkept-looking. Very, very strange; we were doing only about 20 miles an hour because somebody had just turned and were maybe 15 feet apart, if that-- you know how traffic bunches up when people slow down to let somebody turn? This was NOT a maybe-I-can-make-it dash, he stared at my car and kind of screwed up his face and stepped out.
Freaked me out BIG time. There was a line of cars behind me, I would have knocked him down and then they would have hit me and we would have all ended up on top of him.
Last night I went to bed a little upset over something, well-- okay, depends on your outlook as to what it was. Just a squabble that shouldn't have happened between friends. And now that seems really, really... small? I could have killed this guy. So, 'perspective'-- if I had hit him, how would I feel right now? What would I be doing? What would it do to my life? His life, his family's life, his friends' lives? My job, my family's feelings, my friends' concerns...
My niece Shelly hit a guy on a motorcycle once; they both simultaneously ran a 4-way-stop. She was 16 and had been driving a very short time; he was in his 50's and retired. He crashed across her hood and into her windshield and died more or less in Shelly and her passenger's lap, bleeding out; the judge ruled it a double-fault if I remember right, but it took her a long time to get over it. I don't know what I would have done.
This kind of shook me, but I guess that's visible, hm? I'm at work, and I told a couple of people in the staff lounge about it, kind of jokingly because that's part of the me-that-lives-at-work persona; I keep wondering how they would've reacted if I *had* hit him. Poor, stupid guy, drugged-out or despondent or crazy or what, I hope he got the living shit scared out of him and doesn't try that again. It was just so freaking deliberate. He really wanted me to hit him. Don't think it was the insurance-scam thing either, 'cause somebody tried that on me at a stopsign in northwest Las Vegas about 12 years ago. (Heh; I stopped short before they could jump onto my car-hood and they landed on the pavement and yelled abuse while I carefully drove around them and away. Pissed them off pretty good, too.)
(and
elinor_dear, if you're reading this, it was right in front of your apartment complex.)
Right, perspective. The stuff last night upset me because I hate to see friends fight, but right now it just feels like the whole world got shifted over a notch or two, and maybe I'm not going to worry about it or them quite as much; fights happen. So do lots of worse things, and I just barely missed out on enabling one of them today. Sure glad I was watching him that close. Glad I didn't hit him.
Need more tea.