Beltaine... and Cori
My cat, Bel, who had bone cancer, is no longer hurting. I called the vet and did what was necessary this morning. Icka went along, for which I'm very glad; it's harder to turn into a total basket case if someone else is there.
Bel went very quickly, very easily; I hope I'll recognize her when I see her again. She was 18 and she had lived a very long life, from Germany to Florida to Nevada to Arizona; but it's never long enough, is it? Not for the ones that watch them leave.
I brought her body back home to bury, and so that Spot could see and understand. It's not right, just having them dissapear-- Spot has a right to know what happened to Bel, and she does now; she's lying on the bed about 2 feet away, flicking her tail at me. I don't know how animals deal with death; is it easier for them? People say that it is, but how do they know that, really? Did I do the right thing?
I don't know.
What I do know is that Bel doesn't hurt now, and that doors open and they close. Do I know that I'll see her again? When she came to me 18 years ago as a 4-week-old kitten without a mom, I thought I saw the cat named Pepper that had died a year previously in her face. Did I? I don't know. But I gave her a home and she was happy, and now... doors close, and then they open. Can't say more than that.
Sooner or later I'll get a new kitten, give somebody else a home. And if they look familiar, that'll be good; if they don't, that'll be good too.
Bel, I miss you.
Later edit: I don't know how to handle this. I went in to give Cori (my elderly ferret who's been being treated for a bad heart) her meds... and she had died in her sleep. Two of my furry children on the same day.
Not dealing with this very well. i will later, but right now I just want to curl up with Spot and Tan and Kit. What I said earlier still goes-- doors open and close, and I hope to see them both again. This morning when I asked the vet how the hell I had ended up running a Home for Geriatric Pets, she told me it was because I loved them and took good care of them and allowed them to live to be old; I hope that's true. Coriander was nearly 7, the equivalent of 70 for ferrets... The vet said that with her heart like it was, even if she had been a 2-year-old her condition would've been considered grave.
To those of you who already responded, thank you for the condolences; they do help. And I know that this is just a case of Mother Nature having particularly shitty timing. But oh, I miss my girls.
Bel went very quickly, very easily; I hope I'll recognize her when I see her again. She was 18 and she had lived a very long life, from Germany to Florida to Nevada to Arizona; but it's never long enough, is it? Not for the ones that watch them leave.
I brought her body back home to bury, and so that Spot could see and understand. It's not right, just having them dissapear-- Spot has a right to know what happened to Bel, and she does now; she's lying on the bed about 2 feet away, flicking her tail at me. I don't know how animals deal with death; is it easier for them? People say that it is, but how do they know that, really? Did I do the right thing?
I don't know.
What I do know is that Bel doesn't hurt now, and that doors open and they close. Do I know that I'll see her again? When she came to me 18 years ago as a 4-week-old kitten without a mom, I thought I saw the cat named Pepper that had died a year previously in her face. Did I? I don't know. But I gave her a home and she was happy, and now... doors close, and then they open. Can't say more than that.
Sooner or later I'll get a new kitten, give somebody else a home. And if they look familiar, that'll be good; if they don't, that'll be good too.
Bel, I miss you.
Later edit: I don't know how to handle this. I went in to give Cori (my elderly ferret who's been being treated for a bad heart) her meds... and she had died in her sleep. Two of my furry children on the same day.
Not dealing with this very well. i will later, but right now I just want to curl up with Spot and Tan and Kit. What I said earlier still goes-- doors open and close, and I hope to see them both again. This morning when I asked the vet how the hell I had ended up running a Home for Geriatric Pets, she told me it was because I loved them and took good care of them and allowed them to live to be old; I hope that's true. Coriander was nearly 7, the equivalent of 70 for ferrets... The vet said that with her heart like it was, even if she had been a 2-year-old her condition would've been considered grave.
To those of you who already responded, thank you for the condolences; they do help. And I know that this is just a case of Mother Nature having particularly shitty timing. But oh, I miss my girls.