(no subject)
gruesome.
such a gruesome friday night.
up until midnight, this was mighty fine. and now i can't sleep and it's 4 a.m.: not where I want to be when I want to be at the gym @ 10.
but i guess i had a hard look at my reality tonight. and i love to please myself and say that this is how many best best friends i have, even if they don't live close, but no not tonight, i have no friends, i don't know anyone and maybe i've never met anyone that can turn this stomach pit into something i laugh off tomorrow. it's always there, just mocking my good times waiting to jump on in and make me realize what this all really is.
i'm pathetic.
and i wish i didn't feel so abandoned. and alone.