(no subject)
i shot up in bed this morning at 7am...i don't know why. maybe i thought something was wrong. i don't know.
i fell back asleep only to dream about random things -- dying my hair bleach blonde by mistake, and chasing milo ventimiglia into my grips in the bathroom where i just dyed my hair. i tried to kiss him but he told me 'things are going really well with topanga right now'. i was disappointed, because i love milo. and then the phone rang.
i saw it was my mom and i grumbled and barked at her because i was asleep and without hesitation she muttered out 'grandma died this morning'. instant well of tears. she was 89, i knew the day was merely weeks or months around the corner and although i thought she'd outlive us all, alas she's drawn her last breath. it's really upsetting considering all the history we had together and how it all went to shit the last few years. over christmas when speaking to the family she didn't even remember my father, who had been a part of her life as much as i had. she was losing it...she didn't even remember casting out my mother several years ago or the nasty, horrible things she said about the family. she was crazy then too. but before all that ugliness she was spry and fun. she line danced three times a week with her girlfriends and loved games and the outdoors. she was the most fun and perky grandma around. some of you may remember. she was incredible. she gave me my miss piggy when i wasn't even a year old...she watched me grow up and was always there, ever so loving. i don't know how to feel....i was so angry with her for so long but i've come to realize only in the past few months that her old age was degrading her and that i'm not at fault for some of the things that may of happened. i guess i'll just have to remember the good times shared and try to block out where it all went wrong. i really love her and i'm going to miss her.
that being said, i hope you all had a good valentine's day yesterday, and just remember to remind the ones you love that you love them. good day
i fell back asleep only to dream about random things -- dying my hair bleach blonde by mistake, and chasing milo ventimiglia into my grips in the bathroom where i just dyed my hair. i tried to kiss him but he told me 'things are going really well with topanga right now'. i was disappointed, because i love milo. and then the phone rang.
i saw it was my mom and i grumbled and barked at her because i was asleep and without hesitation she muttered out 'grandma died this morning'. instant well of tears. she was 89, i knew the day was merely weeks or months around the corner and although i thought she'd outlive us all, alas she's drawn her last breath. it's really upsetting considering all the history we had together and how it all went to shit the last few years. over christmas when speaking to the family she didn't even remember my father, who had been a part of her life as much as i had. she was losing it...she didn't even remember casting out my mother several years ago or the nasty, horrible things she said about the family. she was crazy then too. but before all that ugliness she was spry and fun. she line danced three times a week with her girlfriends and loved games and the outdoors. she was the most fun and perky grandma around. some of you may remember. she was incredible. she gave me my miss piggy when i wasn't even a year old...she watched me grow up and was always there, ever so loving. i don't know how to feel....i was so angry with her for so long but i've come to realize only in the past few months that her old age was degrading her and that i'm not at fault for some of the things that may of happened. i guess i'll just have to remember the good times shared and try to block out where it all went wrong. i really love her and i'm going to miss her.
that being said, i hope you all had a good valentine's day yesterday, and just remember to remind the ones you love that you love them. good day