(no subject)
Monday I get a phone call, its Farren crying. She keeps asking me "Did you hear what happened, did you hear what happened?" I thought to myself 'oh no, now what, nothing can happen, please.' And she says, "Ernesto..." and my heart fucking died. "...at wrestling practice yesterday he had an aneurysm. He passed out, and now hes in the hospital and I wanted to know if you want to come with me." I cannot even believe this happened. I mean, it was a huge shock with Adam. But that time it seemed like, not AS shocking because you know things happen like that out of the blue. But when it happened again it just hits you. It hits you because you just think that nothing is fair and that no matter what you do you can't stop things from happening. I knew Ernesto now more than I knew Adam. The boy was the prettiest thing I have ever seen. Hands down. My God I love him so much. And its weird because maybe I didn't hang out with him as much as everyone else, but everytime we saw eachother in the halls we'd talk or he'd smile at me. And many days at lunch me, him, and Travis would talk. And Halloween me and him danced the night away. Theres plenty of other stories that probabaly shouldn't be talked about, haha, but after Halloween, everyone always asked about me and him and we both just ignored it. Everyone would say "You guys have to go to the dance together!" blah blah blah. But instead he had a wrestling meet. I remember our last convertation was on Wednesday and we were talking about French.
"Heey Ernesto." "Hey Jamie! Where are you coming from?" "Algebra. I hate it so much. You?" "French." "2nd year or 1st year?" "2nd." "I have French, it kinda sucks I'm not good at it at all. And Mrs.Bousio is kind of crazy." "Haha, yeah she is. What lunch do you have today?" "C, you?" "C. What do you have on gold days?" "B, silly I have it with you." "Oh yeah! Well I'm going over here so I'll talk to you later Jamie." "Byeee."
I remember it all. And he always had to say my name, haha, it was cute. And his voice is so small and so little. And he was the cutest boy alive. Every girl would have the biggest crush on him. And his smile was so amazing. Every time you see that boy hes smiling. Every time!
When me and Farren got to the hospital, the lobby was full of s bunch of sohopmores. I hope they weren't thinking "What are they doing here they didn't even know him." If anyone did, then they obviously don't know that me and Erneseto were friends and that I did know him. Plus, even if someone doesn't its nice to just be there for them. But I guess they all seemed cool. We got there around 3, and stayed till 6, then we went down to the church and we had a bunch of people there for him. I got to go into the room and see him. He was just laying there. It was like he was already dead. They had him on life support which was the only thing keeping him alive. When he passed out at practice I guess he died, but they brought him back. It was so hard to look at him. His family was all around him, and his mom just telling him "Stay alive Ernesto, stay with us" but in Spanish (hehe). It was the hardest thing to see. Just him lying there, his hand was so soft. I told him I loved him and I hope he heard me. The only time he'd move was when the resporator would make his chest move up, and down, up, and down. His mouth was covered. His eyes wouldn't even open, his hair was pushed back. You could barely see his face. I hated knowing he was laying there, dying, and I could do nothing about it but pray. I just wanetd to help him so bad. I just wanted to be able to have one more convertation with him. I wanted him to know I was there. I just can't believe any of this. And Ernesto. He had everything going for him. I'm going to quote someone I was with, "Man, Ernesto had more going for him than I would ever have." and the boy saying this reads constantly and is involved in every sport possible. Gosh, Ernesto was just pure beauty. He was amazing. I can't believe he's gone.
Tonight from 4-8 is his viewing. Tomarrow at 1 is his funeral, and its also Jackie's birthday and Christmas Eve. I'm going to go though. Hopefully she doesn't mind. I'm so scared to go. I'm not even about to last through this. At the hospital I couldn't do anything but cry, and then I thought I was all cried out.
If anyone read this, I appreciate it. <3
R.I.P
Ernesto Santiago
June 5, 1988 - December 21, 2004
I love you
"Heey Ernesto." "Hey Jamie! Where are you coming from?" "Algebra. I hate it so much. You?" "French." "2nd year or 1st year?" "2nd." "I have French, it kinda sucks I'm not good at it at all. And Mrs.Bousio is kind of crazy." "Haha, yeah she is. What lunch do you have today?" "C, you?" "C. What do you have on gold days?" "B, silly I have it with you." "Oh yeah! Well I'm going over here so I'll talk to you later Jamie." "Byeee."
I remember it all. And he always had to say my name, haha, it was cute. And his voice is so small and so little. And he was the cutest boy alive. Every girl would have the biggest crush on him. And his smile was so amazing. Every time you see that boy hes smiling. Every time!
When me and Farren got to the hospital, the lobby was full of s bunch of sohopmores. I hope they weren't thinking "What are they doing here they didn't even know him." If anyone did, then they obviously don't know that me and Erneseto were friends and that I did know him. Plus, even if someone doesn't its nice to just be there for them. But I guess they all seemed cool. We got there around 3, and stayed till 6, then we went down to the church and we had a bunch of people there for him. I got to go into the room and see him. He was just laying there. It was like he was already dead. They had him on life support which was the only thing keeping him alive. When he passed out at practice I guess he died, but they brought him back. It was so hard to look at him. His family was all around him, and his mom just telling him "Stay alive Ernesto, stay with us" but in Spanish (hehe). It was the hardest thing to see. Just him lying there, his hand was so soft. I told him I loved him and I hope he heard me. The only time he'd move was when the resporator would make his chest move up, and down, up, and down. His mouth was covered. His eyes wouldn't even open, his hair was pushed back. You could barely see his face. I hated knowing he was laying there, dying, and I could do nothing about it but pray. I just wanetd to help him so bad. I just wanted to be able to have one more convertation with him. I wanted him to know I was there. I just can't believe any of this. And Ernesto. He had everything going for him. I'm going to quote someone I was with, "Man, Ernesto had more going for him than I would ever have." and the boy saying this reads constantly and is involved in every sport possible. Gosh, Ernesto was just pure beauty. He was amazing. I can't believe he's gone.
Tonight from 4-8 is his viewing. Tomarrow at 1 is his funeral, and its also Jackie's birthday and Christmas Eve. I'm going to go though. Hopefully she doesn't mind. I'm so scared to go. I'm not even about to last through this. At the hospital I couldn't do anything but cry, and then I thought I was all cried out.
If anyone read this, I appreciate it. <3
R.I.P
Ernesto Santiago
June 5, 1988 - December 21, 2004
I love you