I wish that you could see your scars turn in to beauty
It has been raining a lot, turning the air humid and inviting a lot of dragonflies to buzz around outside my windows. I wish I could move as energetic as them, but unlike how humid air works for them, it is my enemy. The enemy that rose from its slumber every February-March in every year.
What I’m trying to say is, I’m sick. I have been sick since eight days ago. Last Sunday. I have throat inflammation. And my throat keeps producing some itchy substance and has me coughing like mad, esp whenever I’m about to go to sleep. And when I’m sleeping. And when I just wake up. Terrible.
I’m not attending today’s classes. This is the third time in this week I’m absent from class. How weak. It’s just throat inflammation and coughing but those already keep me away from school.
Just to make it clear, I’m not bed-ridden. The sickness will only get worse if I stay sprawling on the bed too long. And actually, I can bear with all the pain residing in my throat.
“Then why don’t you just go to school?”
I have my own reasons. Childish reasons. I just realize they sound pathetic coming from someone my age. Ha ha.
One, I can’t concentrate in class once I start coughing. Two, coughing turns my mood sour. Three, sickness added with bad mood give me headache. Four, I hate noisy places since it makes my headache worse. Five, the class and all my classmates are noisy. Last, I will only get more lethargic than already and once I’m back in my room, I’ll have no energy left to work on my home works and spend the rest of the afternoon sleeping.
Sound irresponsible? You decide. In the end, I will come to the conclusion that coming to the class in this condition will waste my energy and time.
I envy some of my classmates. They are strong people, in terms of capable to push themselves to the edge and still push themselves harder even when they are already on the edge. I don’t have that kind of strength. I’m the type that will stop pushing myself a few meters before I reach the edge. And sometimes I don’t get the idea of pushing myself to the limit because I don’t know where my limit is and there’s this saying that say that we should know where to stop. I also don’t know exactly at what point I should stop, but I guess I always stop whenever I feel like exploding. I don’t know.
At this point, just hoping is useless. Just praying is not enough. I have to bury these deeper in my consciousness: I’m a strong person. I’m someone who’s capable of many things. I don’t lose to anyone else. And this sickness will go away soon.
Be strong, self.
Despite that, good things happened.
I upgraded my Adobe Photoshop from CS3 to CS5. I learned a few new photoshop tricks. I drew the sketch for Saki’s birthday in less than thirty minutes (talking about how slow I am in drawing people with quite-right body proportion). I got to buy Reeves 36 color soft pastel with 20% discount. I found a new place where I could have a satisfying dinner with only 5.5K IDR. Natamorta exhibition received tons of positive reviews from the visitors. My work as the admin of Natamorta twitter had ended. I got a new job as the treasurer for the upcoming election of the president of DKV ITB association (in a way, I like to keep myself busy with work aside from homeworks). I stayed overnight at my grandma’s place and had a fun talk with Grandma and Auntie. I went to the cinema alone for the first time (for Rectoverso movie). Madre The Movie and Sherina’s new album will be released this March. I finished reading a novel (A Place Called Here by Cecelia Ahern) after a long time. And so on, and so on…
Small good things that gave me great happiness.
I’ll end this post with a video meme I did weeks ago.
Day 9 - what you are wearing today
Have a great week and don’t forget to take care of your health, everyone o/
What I’m trying to say is, I’m sick. I have been sick since eight days ago. Last Sunday. I have throat inflammation. And my throat keeps producing some itchy substance and has me coughing like mad, esp whenever I’m about to go to sleep. And when I’m sleeping. And when I just wake up. Terrible.
I’m not attending today’s classes. This is the third time in this week I’m absent from class. How weak. It’s just throat inflammation and coughing but those already keep me away from school.
Just to make it clear, I’m not bed-ridden. The sickness will only get worse if I stay sprawling on the bed too long. And actually, I can bear with all the pain residing in my throat.
“Then why don’t you just go to school?”
I have my own reasons. Childish reasons. I just realize they sound pathetic coming from someone my age. Ha ha.
One, I can’t concentrate in class once I start coughing. Two, coughing turns my mood sour. Three, sickness added with bad mood give me headache. Four, I hate noisy places since it makes my headache worse. Five, the class and all my classmates are noisy. Last, I will only get more lethargic than already and once I’m back in my room, I’ll have no energy left to work on my home works and spend the rest of the afternoon sleeping.
Sound irresponsible? You decide. In the end, I will come to the conclusion that coming to the class in this condition will waste my energy and time.
I envy some of my classmates. They are strong people, in terms of capable to push themselves to the edge and still push themselves harder even when they are already on the edge. I don’t have that kind of strength. I’m the type that will stop pushing myself a few meters before I reach the edge. And sometimes I don’t get the idea of pushing myself to the limit because I don’t know where my limit is and there’s this saying that say that we should know where to stop. I also don’t know exactly at what point I should stop, but I guess I always stop whenever I feel like exploding. I don’t know.
At this point, just hoping is useless. Just praying is not enough. I have to bury these deeper in my consciousness: I’m a strong person. I’m someone who’s capable of many things. I don’t lose to anyone else. And this sickness will go away soon.
Be strong, self.
Despite that, good things happened.
I upgraded my Adobe Photoshop from CS3 to CS5. I learned a few new photoshop tricks. I drew the sketch for Saki’s birthday in less than thirty minutes (talking about how slow I am in drawing people with quite-right body proportion). I got to buy Reeves 36 color soft pastel with 20% discount. I found a new place where I could have a satisfying dinner with only 5.5K IDR. Natamorta exhibition received tons of positive reviews from the visitors. My work as the admin of Natamorta twitter had ended. I got a new job as the treasurer for the upcoming election of the president of DKV ITB association (in a way, I like to keep myself busy with work aside from homeworks). I stayed overnight at my grandma’s place and had a fun talk with Grandma and Auntie. I went to the cinema alone for the first time (for Rectoverso movie). Madre The Movie and Sherina’s new album will be released this March. I finished reading a novel (A Place Called Here by Cecelia Ahern) after a long time. And so on, and so on…
Small good things that gave me great happiness.
I’ll end this post with a video meme I did weeks ago.
Day 9 - what you are wearing today
Click to viewHave a great week and don’t forget to take care of your health, everyone o/