I can't I just can't
I know i've been botherin you and i'm sorry but you just don't understand how i've been this last month. I know I told you all this when we talked on the phone but fuck Kristen its no lie. Everyday i wake up, every second of the day i can't stop thinkin about you. I've tried everything you have to get over you. I told you i tried partying and i tried meeting new people but i couldn't stop thinkin about you even when i went out! i call out of work somedays becuase i can't work anymore. i try to keep busy but its no good...you're always in my mind. sure theres shit you told me that i probably shouldn't have asked to hear but i NEED to hear all that so i can tell myself you've moved on. the thing is, even after all that stuff you've said to me, I still want you! i still want you back. I've never loved someone so much and i don't want anyone else but you. I don't. when i read the part about you blastin your music at night, that freaked me out cuz i do that too but for me, it doesn't work! I just can't give you up i can't! I prey every night that my feelings for you will be gone cuz i know you don't want me anymore but it doens't work. I'm still in love with you and I can't stop wondering what your doing every night. i know i probably pushed you too far this time and i'm not sure if you even want to be friends now but i've tried everything Kristen to stop thinkin about you and the only option left to me was togive you a call and se eif you could give me some closure. i see that didn't work but at least i tried. you asked me to leave you alone and to fuck off...ok Kristen...you win...i'll stop talkin to you...its gonna hurt but its my fault. I feel like i can't live without you but i have to try to move on...honestly, i'd rather be dead right now...i don't feel like doing anything anymore except sleep...hoping i wont wake up...i've lost the will to go on and i can't believe a girl can do this to me! i promied my bestfriend that we would never fall for a girl so hard that we would beg for them...i broke that promise though...i fell for this girl so hard she's become apart of my life...eventhough shes single...i can't help but think of her 24/7! I need help and I don't know where to turn for it...i'm so pathetic right now...all i did all day was sleep! no joke...i even called out from work cuz i couldn't do it...fuck whats wrong with me?! i fuckin hate this...