you got some niceeee beats
So, I have no idea where i am going to live next year. honestly no one has really volunteered to have me live with them. well this isn't true. but i mean it comes down to this whole friend thing yet again. i haven't met a ton of people in the dorm yet (will it ever happen?? god damn) and since leases need to be signed in about one to two months i really just need to start making decisions soon. i told my roomie she could live with me if i got an apartment. i realyl wouldn't mind her living with me at all. shes fun and laid back. i dont think she'd shoot me if every once in a while i had a party or something either.
then there is leah. and i love leah dearly. but i have this problem with not only her but several of my dorm friends. and i don't want this to sound cocky or like i think i am hot shit, because that is not what i am trying to get at. but basically i feel kind of like "the queen bee." like it mean girls lol. but i just feel like leah and some others as well kind of like follow me around like "alex, what are we gonna do tonight?" "alex i wanna go out with you!" and if i don't go out then neither do they. and if i go out with people they don't know then they stay in and they tell me they'd feel awkward coming along and blah blah. and it drags me down. i dont want them to be so damn dependent on me to go out and have a good time. often times i am invited out with other people but then there is leah or someone else on the side looking at me with puppy dog eyes and acting all sad when i say i am going out with someone else. it is so frustrating.
i have met this girl jeannie. she is really fun and cool and a lot like someone i know i'd like to be better friends with. but my other friends are kind of in the way of expanding my friendship with jeannie. and i dont want to drop leah or anyone else's friendships, but i would like to be able to hang out with everyone whenever and not feel so held down, or feel so bad. arghhh
no boys still. its like some kind of epidemic. i realized the other day its been over a year and a half since i have had that true boyfriend relationship and it is kind of depressing and veryyyy annoying. i feel like i have been single for long enough and now i just want someone to be there for me. of course, as the saying goes you can't go looking for love, it's got to find you...i couldn't agree more. but damn, its been a while.
and i am really sick of guys treating me like shit and me letting them get away with it. there is no excuse on my part. i always knwo what i am getting myself into and i let it happen, so i am partly to blame. but fuck guys who are assholes for no good reason. where have all the nice boys gone??
well, i hope everyone has a good last few weeks before thanksgiving. i will be going to texas to visit my aunt for the majority of the break, which kind of sucks. however, i do know i need to get the fuck out of morgantown for a little while...
speaking of that, i have had a lot of thoughts float around in my head about transfering. it is not likely i'd ever take the steps to go to a different school, but right now morgantown is not my favorite place. i have not made many new, good friends yet (give it time, i know) and i also am not enjoying parties, the dorms, etc. as much as i'd hoped. maybe its just been a lot of school lately or maybe i am just bored but somethings gotta change or i will go crazy.
then there is leah. and i love leah dearly. but i have this problem with not only her but several of my dorm friends. and i don't want this to sound cocky or like i think i am hot shit, because that is not what i am trying to get at. but basically i feel kind of like "the queen bee." like it mean girls lol. but i just feel like leah and some others as well kind of like follow me around like "alex, what are we gonna do tonight?" "alex i wanna go out with you!" and if i don't go out then neither do they. and if i go out with people they don't know then they stay in and they tell me they'd feel awkward coming along and blah blah. and it drags me down. i dont want them to be so damn dependent on me to go out and have a good time. often times i am invited out with other people but then there is leah or someone else on the side looking at me with puppy dog eyes and acting all sad when i say i am going out with someone else. it is so frustrating.
i have met this girl jeannie. she is really fun and cool and a lot like someone i know i'd like to be better friends with. but my other friends are kind of in the way of expanding my friendship with jeannie. and i dont want to drop leah or anyone else's friendships, but i would like to be able to hang out with everyone whenever and not feel so held down, or feel so bad. arghhh
no boys still. its like some kind of epidemic. i realized the other day its been over a year and a half since i have had that true boyfriend relationship and it is kind of depressing and veryyyy annoying. i feel like i have been single for long enough and now i just want someone to be there for me. of course, as the saying goes you can't go looking for love, it's got to find you...i couldn't agree more. but damn, its been a while.
and i am really sick of guys treating me like shit and me letting them get away with it. there is no excuse on my part. i always knwo what i am getting myself into and i let it happen, so i am partly to blame. but fuck guys who are assholes for no good reason. where have all the nice boys gone??
well, i hope everyone has a good last few weeks before thanksgiving. i will be going to texas to visit my aunt for the majority of the break, which kind of sucks. however, i do know i need to get the fuck out of morgantown for a little while...
speaking of that, i have had a lot of thoughts float around in my head about transfering. it is not likely i'd ever take the steps to go to a different school, but right now morgantown is not my favorite place. i have not made many new, good friends yet (give it time, i know) and i also am not enjoying parties, the dorms, etc. as much as i'd hoped. maybe its just been a lot of school lately or maybe i am just bored but somethings gotta change or i will go crazy.