[meme]

Feb 16, 2010 23:50

THE BEST OF TIMES...
...THE WORST OF TIMES.My dear Doctor ( Read more... )

meme

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not_theman_iwas February 17 2010, 01:38:16 UTC
Master,

As flattered as I am by your flattered attentions (the plastic daffodils were a nice touch, even if they were murderous), I have to say I think you've got things backwards. You see, I haven't been looking for your evil plots - well, except for that one time I stole your dematerialization circuit, but you stole mine, too, so it was fair.

And don't look at me like that, because I did give it back.

I don't know what you have to say about velvet, what with all the black you wear these days. That Johnny Cash song wasn't meant to be a way of life, and anyway I think you've completely missed the point.

I don't suppose you'd like to brag a little about that death trap of yours?

As always,
The Doctor

P.S. You haven't seen my hat, have you? The black bowler. It went missing the last time I was running from your hypnotized minions, and I'd like it back - it belonged to Patrick Macnee.

{OOC: Seeing as how I've been watching lots of Three!era recently, and pining, pining for a Delgado!Master... I couldn't resist. *hangs head* SORRY FOR GETTING AU ON YOUR CANON D:}

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youwillobey February 17 2010, 20:08:18 UTC
My dear Doctor,

Black is functional, practical and stylish. Its sharp lines and stark uniformity effortlessly convey a universal statement of authority and superiority without resorting to foppish extremes. When people look at me, they intuitively grasp that I am to be attended to carefully and obeyed dutifully in all matters.

I am also given to understand that it can have something of a slimming effect -- one I am certain you will wish to look into.

Cordially yours,
The Master

P.S. I'm certainly not wearing it at this very moment.

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not_theman_iwas February 17 2010, 20:15:58 UTC
Naster,

Either that, or "I'm colourblind and this is the only way I can pick out clothes in the morning without some sort of dreadful fashion faux pas". While there's a lot to be said for black in moderation, or at funerals, you, as always, took a good thing to extremes and ruined it.

And I haven't the slightest clue what you're implying.

Colourfully yours,
The Doctor

P.S. Of course you're not. I don't suppose you'd be willing to work out some sort of terms for its return?

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youwillobey February 18 2010, 14:13:17 UTC
My dear Doctor,

As I sit here in my modern, comfortable, well-appointed, fully functional TARDIS, sipping vintage pressed-zapple cider from the finest orchards of Old Gallifrey while Rassilon's long lost "Adagio for the Agonies of Pythia" plays around me, I find myself contemplating that old adage so succinctly summed up by the words "Be Prepared". The universe, after all, is a flimsy, mortal thing; its people are given to tumbling out of airlocks here, ageing away to nothingness there, and generally exploding, suffocating and being eaten and the like.

I feel it only apt - and efficient! - that my accoutrements may readily assume a funereal air given the rather irrevocably fatal condition of existence.

Appropriately yours,
The Master

P.S. I've always liked terms. Except that Second Spring term of our third year in the Academy. That was incredibly boring.

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not_theman_iwas February 18 2010, 15:44:58 UTC
Master,

All of which I assume you've experienced first-hand? I've heard rumours that someone's been a little careless with his regenerations.

As always,
The Doctor

P.S. Oh, be fair. Most of our school terms were unutterably dull, or at least until we started livening things up. Speaking of, how do you feel about the Medusa Cascade?

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youwillobey February 18 2010, 15:58:17 UTC
My dear Doctor,

I believe I shall, at some juncture, sabotage one of your experiments, leaving you trapped in the event horizon of a black hole; let us see how many regenerations you retain while impossibly escaping the impassable verge of the collapse of time itself.

Assuredly yours,
The Master

P.S. I feel that it is quite flammable, were one so inclined.

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not_theman_iwas February 18 2010, 16:03:59 UTC
Master,

Of course, old friend. Will this be before or after you've managed to gain control over a planet of any significance?

As always,
The Doctor

P.S. ...Maybe something less subtle, then. Switzerland? I know of an excellent little shop with the most delicious chocolates.

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youwillobey February 18 2010, 16:24:09 UTC
My dear Doctor,

I must admit that maintaining control over a planet is never so interesting as first gaining it. I shall perforce attach to this missive a list of all significant - and insignificant; we all have our whimsical moments - planets within my domain so that you may, should you ever manage to tear yourself away from Earth, ferment rebellions and relieve me of their tedium. I'm afraid it is a rather long list. Do try not to drop it on anything delicate, there's a good chap.

Considerately yours,
The Master

P.S. I have always had a fondness for a ticking clock.

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not_theman_iwas February 18 2010, 16:32:12 UTC
Master,

I'm not always on Earth, and if you were paying attention, you'd know that. Really, Master, I'm hurt! Some enemy you are.

-Doctor

P.S. Switzerland is is, then. Preliminary terms?

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youwillobey February 18 2010, 16:35:17 UTC
My dear Doctor,

The first step in solving any problem is to admit the problem exists.

Therapeutically yours,
The Master

P.S. If you're wearing velvet, you can say bye-bye to Bern.

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not_theman_iwas February 18 2010, 16:38:06 UTC
Master,

Yes, of course. I'll start searching for a new best enemy at once. I don't suppose you have any recommendations?

No longer yours,
The Doctor

P.S. That's a bit petty, isn't it? But all right, no velvet.

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youwillobey February 18 2010, 16:44:46 UTC
My dear Doctor,

I have many, but they all require you to depart the Earth for at least a subjective year, and I'm afraid the withdrawal would force an early regeneration or two on you.

Compassionately yours,
The Master

P.S. Excellent! And I shall endeavour not to irradiate you or have you crushed by unexpected avalanches. You can't say fairer than that.

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not_theman_iwas February 18 2010, 16:46:54 UTC
Master,

There is such a thing as too much of a good thing.

-The Doctor

P.S. How do you feel about tartan, then?

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