violence breeds violence
dear diary,
sorry i havent utilized your fine fine services of late, i have been rather busy thinking about silly trivial things, cramming my head full of useless junk that will probably, eventually, cause my head to implode. that being said... i was speaking to a friend the other night about apathy. what is with apathy. and why is being so fucking empty so fucking fulfilling to so many people these days? is it that we need drama in our lives? because maybe the emptiness causes drama? or that maybe it is all just a bunch of self serving existentialist allegory. what a contradiction.
i have been working my days at a department store, selling shoes. shoes. yes... you read it and now you'll read it again. shoes. thats consumed quite alot of my time. been thinking a whole lot about getting out of this insular as fuck town to somewhere where i can be anonymous. where i can walk the streets at 4am. go swimming in the ocean. where i dont have any expectations.
there is this man who comes up to me every now and then and tells me how much he loves my hair. i mean... its weird that someone can be so in love with something thats so non-sensory. maybe. anyway, the other day he asked me if i wanted to try something new with him. i found that utterly baffling and walked on wishing him a good time. then i ran into a guy who told me the world was going to end because today is the 4th, and 4 represents a door... heaven/hell and we are all going to hell because the bad spirits from middle earth are going to ascend tonight. and he was rambling so much stuff... it was really quite amazing. kinda like kafka on the shore for the real world. haha. the real world.
...i am a list of things to do...
.stop resenting yourself.
.start doing the things you believed you loved and/or believe you love doing.
.stop taking things so gad damn seriously. things sometimes have to make less sense than this.
.send the letters i write and stop holding the fuck back.
hope you're all doing well. sorry about my whinging. and naivity... just trying for once to try and regain some sort of thought process... not such an easy thing to do.
masses of love!
xo sarah
sorry i havent utilized your fine fine services of late, i have been rather busy thinking about silly trivial things, cramming my head full of useless junk that will probably, eventually, cause my head to implode. that being said... i was speaking to a friend the other night about apathy. what is with apathy. and why is being so fucking empty so fucking fulfilling to so many people these days? is it that we need drama in our lives? because maybe the emptiness causes drama? or that maybe it is all just a bunch of self serving existentialist allegory. what a contradiction.
i have been working my days at a department store, selling shoes. shoes. yes... you read it and now you'll read it again. shoes. thats consumed quite alot of my time. been thinking a whole lot about getting out of this insular as fuck town to somewhere where i can be anonymous. where i can walk the streets at 4am. go swimming in the ocean. where i dont have any expectations.
there is this man who comes up to me every now and then and tells me how much he loves my hair. i mean... its weird that someone can be so in love with something thats so non-sensory. maybe. anyway, the other day he asked me if i wanted to try something new with him. i found that utterly baffling and walked on wishing him a good time. then i ran into a guy who told me the world was going to end because today is the 4th, and 4 represents a door... heaven/hell and we are all going to hell because the bad spirits from middle earth are going to ascend tonight. and he was rambling so much stuff... it was really quite amazing. kinda like kafka on the shore for the real world. haha. the real world.
...i am a list of things to do...
.stop resenting yourself.
.start doing the things you believed you loved and/or believe you love doing.
.stop taking things so gad damn seriously. things sometimes have to make less sense than this.
.send the letters i write and stop holding the fuck back.
hope you're all doing well. sorry about my whinging. and naivity... just trying for once to try and regain some sort of thought process... not such an easy thing to do.
masses of love!
xo sarah