I want to move to Heaven
I do not want to think about how lonely I am. I do not want to think about how I will always be alone. I do not want to think about how I will never find my way home (wherever that is.) I do not want to think about going to work.
The Damned are playing in Salt Lake City. Do you think I will go? Hell no. I do not want to be around the people. The stench of people. The absolute abhorrence I feel for people right now. How can I care so much for people, and hate them at the same time? I have not gone out for months. I have not seen anyone.
I have not been getting adequate sleep lately. The most I can sleep is six hours, then I have to drive an hour and a half to a shitty job. SOMETHING NEEDS TO CHANGE.
Nothing ever does though. I think I tolerate shit because I am so lazy. I do not want to deal with things.
I wish suicide was a simple action and completely painless. But you have to try for what you really want, right? I hate it when people say I am so negative and if I just changed this or that, that I would be happy. I have a mental illness you ignorant assholes.
I am in the worst mood. I have been for a few days now. I am not sure exactly why. My mental illness? My family? My living situation? Utah? The dillusions of being happy? The dillusion of really finding love?
The Damned are playing in Salt Lake City. Do you think I will go? Hell no. I do not want to be around the people. The stench of people. The absolute abhorrence I feel for people right now. How can I care so much for people, and hate them at the same time? I have not gone out for months. I have not seen anyone.
I have not been getting adequate sleep lately. The most I can sleep is six hours, then I have to drive an hour and a half to a shitty job. SOMETHING NEEDS TO CHANGE.
Nothing ever does though. I think I tolerate shit because I am so lazy. I do not want to deal with things.
I wish suicide was a simple action and completely painless. But you have to try for what you really want, right? I hate it when people say I am so negative and if I just changed this or that, that I would be happy. I have a mental illness you ignorant assholes.
I am in the worst mood. I have been for a few days now. I am not sure exactly why. My mental illness? My family? My living situation? Utah? The dillusions of being happy? The dillusion of really finding love?