liberation from separation
i have been so confused lately and i dont know what i want to do. i dont know if it is my body that wants things or my mind. i just dont know im so confused . ive started to take classes at JIVAMUKTI center to help me find peace with things i have problems with and and it means "MEANS LIBERATION FROM SEPARATION". i just find that so interesting and so hard to do. i am trying to learn not to think or care about things i normally do. sometimes going there scares me because i dont know if i will lose what makes me the person i am, my essence. i am explosive and passionate about things i care about but i am scared what i will end up maybe becoming. i dont want to lose that fire that is the core of me. i am also going to start training at the ohashi institute to use my hands not to break things but to heal. i am going back to my roots and maybe i can figure out how to be a buddhist like how my ancestors were. i just need to try to figure things out but i am torn. i want to be bad and do shitty things but i am just sooo dont know. if someone understands find me.