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It’s all in chronological order, so bear with me. Bear? Bare? Whatever.
So when we first got into the city, it didn’t look promising. We passed a whole troop of Mexican cowboys, who I’m guessing were in town for some kind of traveling cowboy show or something and were dressed head to toe in cowboy apparel holding horses. They looked very surly and would not have appreciated obnoxious teenagers patronizing them by taking pictures, I’m sure. Then we passed a lonely carousel that was running with no children anywhere near it. Sad.
We then went to this underground museum that had “Ripley’s” in the title, so based on this and Lindsay’s insistence that it really had something to do with Ripley’s Believe It or Not, we went in and got suckered into a museum really about the Amazon. Ripley, I’m sure, is just some fat, near death patron whom they named the museum after for funding. It was still loads of fun.
Large catfish carcass that they insist you shove your hand into. No, thanks. Lindsay obliged. It was meant to show you what catfish in the Amazon consume and carry in their stomachs. Fun fact: children in the Amazon apparently are all about the Converses, but giant catfish insist on making the stylish hipster shoes their meal.
Then we watched a very informative sing-along video about the Candiru fish that lives in the Amazon. We've all heard about it. You know, that fish that senses urine in water and swims up your urinary tract, shoots out its spines to assure his stay in your business, and then lays eggs up there. Yeah. Don't know why you wouldn't just pee on a tree or something, but the Candiru is still actually a problem in the Amazon. Anyway, caught some amazing screencaps of the sing-along. Enjoy.
Note this poor guys friends laughing at him. Pricks.
Also note the wonderful misspelling of "below".
We then found an aquarium that was full of wonderful fishes! I discovered way too long afterwards that there was a dome built into the aquarium so you could crawl under and stick your head up to look around. Chelsea and I climbed in, looked up, and both saw, sitting on top of the dome, what we thought was a Candiru. Yeah, turns out it was just a twig catfish, but that didn't stop us from screaming simultaneously and looking like a bunch of tards in front of a room full of five year olds.
Is that a Kupofish I see? Why, yes! Yes, it is! And she's pointing to the twig catfish that almost caused two grown girls to shit their pants.
This was probably the part of the trip that brought the most shame upon my family or something. There was this tank of leaves and water and fake Amazon critters, and there were gloves so that you could sift through all the stuff without getting wet. In this picture, that's Lindsay, but later, Lindsay and I went back to play in it again. We got in a leaf fight with our hands in the gloves - she threw leaves against my plexiglass and vice versa.
So, I found a snail or something that completely distracted me from the leaf fight. So I drop the snail and pick up a giant pile of wet leaves with little plastic animals all mixed into it and throw it against the plexiglass opposite me, only to see that Lindsay has left and some poor, scared unsuspecting five year old has replaced her. If I could show you an "OMGWTF" face, it would totally be that girl's.
I think this picture speaks for itself, so all I can say is LOL at Chew's face.
We then found a dance/play room really meant for little kids. So, we loved it, of course.
This sultry minx lured me into her dungeon of pleasure, as you can see.
Kupo was not immune to her wiles either.
Lindsay took to the advances of the smoking sea mammal's male counterpart.
We found costumes! Please take note of the poor Asian fellow behind Lindsay whose poor children were exposed to the horror of seeing teenage girls act as if they were three.
Chew is an ANACONDA!
Chew is an ANACONDA THE DEVIL!
One time when I thoughtlessly made fun of a friend for posting a somewhat badlooking picture of himself online, he shot back that he has enough confidence to be fine with bad pictures. So here, a hideous picture of me! I am a stringray!
So is Kupo!
So this is my new kid sister, Kendra. Her dad accidentally left her in the museum, so we waited with her until he came back.
Totally fucking kidding. Hope you didn't buy that. That's a cardboard cut out. Isn't it creepy?! It looks so real, especially if you look at her feet - they look like they're actually on the carpet. Before I approached it, I stood across the room for a minute or two just trying to figure out if it was a real little girl. Her constant stillness assured me not.
Then we went to the Natural History Museum. I didn't like it as much and wished we could have gone to the American History Museum, but it was still cool and fun.
Our big selling point to Ms. Jones on why our class should go on a field trip to DC again: BIG FUCKING SLOTHS.
Yeah, that's a prehistoric sloth. It was like... eighteen feet tall.
OMG. MAMMOTH.
My BFF. Seriously. We share clothes.
Holla at my bitches.
Oh, Mads. I forgot to tell you. We found you a boyfriend.
IT'S THE CIRCLE OF LIIIIFFE!
Chicka bow wow.
Aw. He's so drunk.
Just HANGING around. Haha, I am so witty. Sorry, I didn't get a picture of the leopard's face. It was awesome. Humungous grin.
Then I got tired of whipping out my camera all the time and looking like a dumb tourist. We saw loads more stuff like (more) fossils and the insect section. So, yeah, good time.
And obligatory coach bus camera whoring was done by Lindsay and I. We both look retarded in every picture except this one in which we only look mildly retarded. Also, if you do a chin count, I think my manly jaw punches in at three chins. GROSS.
So that was my trip to DC in a nutshell. Yay. I'm done now.