as she screams, screams, screams into the darkness
Name: Step one. [How to save her life]
Author: autumn_scarlet now youstillbelieve
Word Count: 1261
Pairing: Bella/Jacob and Bella/Edward. With a bit of Alice thrown in.
Warning: Highly confusing, pretty much completely AU.
Disclaimer: Steph Meyer owns the characters, The Fray own the lyrics, I just do with them what I please.
Summary; You whisper to the darkness; I would have stayed up with you all night. You would have stayed up through all the darkness, just waiting for the sun again.
Step one.
You say we need to talk.
The words resonate and fall on deaf ears as he glances helplessly back at you. Jacob… you start, and shake your head in defeat. You never know where to start with him, where to end. The lines have always been so blurred; they aren’t lines, just shadows on the ground, shadows you’re never really sure what to think of; whether to be scared, or to walk bravely into them.
You never know what to do when it comes to him.
He laughs; not out loud, it is his eyes that do it, as he casts a long look back at you, and then, before you even really understand, he walks.
You shake your head, and call once more; Jacob, you say, sit down, it’s just a talk.
He laughs shakily, and comes back to perch himself against his tree, no, your tree on the beach, and you can’t help but smile softly at the familiarity of it all. You smile softly; he just smiles politely back at you.
And you? You stare politely. Confused. Until that wolfish smile creeps onto his lips.
-----
The rain falls and you sigh heavily, curling your knees up towards you as you stare blankly at your wall.
He comes right on through some sort of window to your right. You blink, staring at him, and shaking your head softly as it registers. You’re home, and Edward looks worried. Edward… you mutter softly, eyes shining as you look up at him. I’m sorry…
You mouth the words before they fall from your lips. And you can’t help wonder if you made the right choice as he goes left, and you stay right.
-----
She looks at you oddly the next day as you stand on the doorstep of her crystal house, and offer a shrug in your defense.
She scrunches up her nose, and somewhere between the lines of fear and blame etched onto her face; you begin to wonder why you came at all.
Bella… she whispers, her soft, melodic voice sounding forced and not right against the sunset. You just nod, and step away, casting one last glance at the glass heaven before you disappear, with an unanswered question, dancing on her too-human lips.
Where did I go wrong?
But as you glance back at that house, and see the hopelessly beautiful face staring at you from the upstairs window, you realise; I lost a friend. And somewhere along in the bitterness, you see that you lost more than that, because his helplessly pained eyes scream at you; I would have stayed up with you all night.
And you nod, and disappear into your truck, because had you known how to save a life, maybe, maybe you would have let him.
----
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You sigh heavily as you stand on the border, trying your best not to snap your teeth or growl at him, trying your best not to dart over that line and lift her into your arms. You see her further down the road, on that motorbike, and it breaks your heart not to know she is coming back to you now.
It was her choice to make.
You snap your attention back to him, and let him know that you know best. That you know HER best, cause after all, you do know best. But he just laughs, and shakes his head. You did know best. He mutters, his words cutting you, and you look helplessly away, trying to slip past his defence.
He shakes his head, and shoves you away, without granting innocence. You sigh, and you lay down a list of what is wrong here. He laughs, just things I told you all along, he says, and you sigh again, a loss for words as you look helplessly from him to her.
Jacob… you mutter, turning from him to run from this place, but stopping, watching him, whispering, pleading. Tell her I still love her.
And you pray to God he hears you.
[You pray to God he hears you.]
----
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As he begins to raise his voice, you look behind you, searching for her eyes, and she smiles sadly, turning away.
You lower yours in response, and he stops, watches you. You grant him one last choice.
Go, drive until you lose the road, you offer calmly, and he shakes his head, looking at you, one eye raised. Or break with the ones you’ve followed?
You laugh softly, and shrug, it’s you’re choice, but you hurt her, and I don’t know why, but she wont tell me.
You sigh slightly, he will do one of two things, you are sure.
One. He will admit to everything, or…
Two. He’ll just say he’s not the same.
You wait, baited breath. Everything changed, he mutters, and you growl slightly, and turn away, because she knew; she knew that you would begin to wonder why you came.
----
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You turn softly in your sleep, and he’s hot against you. You gasp slightly, and roll away from him, your feet hitting the cold floor and it is a reminder of what you gave up. You shudder, and kiss his head lightly as you begin to dress; he doesn’t stir.
You wonder, where did I go wrong? It has been weeks since you left him; since you lost a friend, a family, a love, a future.
You know now, by leaving the sunshine you will have lost yet another friend, because now, now those shadows look so damn appealing, just to get away from the sun.
You sigh, and scribble him a note, you know he’ll understand.
I lost a friend somewhere along in the bitterness.
I’m sorry, it’s just not the same - I’m just not the same.
- Bella
You creep out, and wonder, wonder if things would be different - if maybe, maybe you had never said yes to Edward; if Jacob had never accepted you with open arms when you changed your mind, because now, now there is no going back.
You can’t live like this.
You whisper to the darkness; I would have stayed up with you all night. You would have stayed up through all the darkness, just waiting for the sun again.
Had you known how to save a life.
You sigh, and turn from La Push, from Jacob, from the light, and run, run, run to the house that glitters; to the darkness that shines.
And you think, had I known how to save a life, it wouldn’t come to this. You could live forever, but you have to throw it all away for eternity.
You lose your life for eternity, and you wish that it would be different, you wish that Jacob could be yours, and that you could be human, but eternity is looming on you.
You wish you could stay, you really do. And maybe you could…
Had I known how to save a life.
----
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I would have stayed up with you all night, you whisper to your pillow when you finds her note, tears silently streaming down your face.
Had I known how to save a life.
But the truth was, it was too late.
----
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You sigh deeply as she stands on your doorstep, asking for you to change her.
You sigh, and take her in your arms.
You would stay up with her all night, as she screams, screams, screams into the darkness.
And you wish, wish, wish that you had known how to save her life.