late nights, likely alibis

[yourwordsmylife]

if only i could write like you.
and play like her.
look like her.
sing like him.
love like them.
maybe i'd be happy.
if only i could choose
the correct door out of three.
if only he really was sweeter than you.
and if only i could forget.
if only i could lose the urge
to drive an hour to your house
just to pass it
cause i know you're not home.
and you never will be for me anymore.
if only i could mend this.
and quit you.
but it's harder than it seems
and way more complicated.
i wish i could make you feel
the way i feel.
if only i still believed,
if only i could rewind
and never meet you.
if only you were him.
i want to grow old
only to be reassured that i did.