the pornographer's daughter.
it's that time of the year and listenning to pollyana reminds me of why i moved into this part of town. i'm so glad i'm not into what i was back then. a year ago. the constant fights. i was never good enough. now i read what she writes and it seems she is getting the same feeling that i got from her. i hope that part of me is gone. i thought i had erased her from my mind, but now seeing her everywhere just puts me back in that shitty mood. why is it always the good guy that takes the first punch? i hate what i did. i hate remembering that moment and realizing that she was just using me. i hope i gave satisfaction for someone else's needs. i'll never scream that name again. the smell of burning flesh and a foggy future. death and destruction. i'm not going to be the cliche emo fag that cries and never gets anything. tonight i'll get my life back. i'm a role model. those words will never leave my lips again. tonight i'll scream for you. i'll scream so hard that you'll hear me. even though you're miles away. and my throat has that same feeling. the feeling that tonight my dinner will taste of blood. i'm not looking forward to the after show ritual of hiding outside and coughing up blood. but for the first time in my life, in this case, i'm actually begging for some sort of commitment. i am good enough.
so the show was good besides getting second place to a shitty band that only won due to the fact that it was their hometown. i didn't hear the fucking crowd singing their songs, but i did hear, and see, a majority of the crowd singing ALL of our songs... including one we haven't even released yet. fuck that place. but i thank God for great fans. hopefully it will be better in the future. i spazzed out and it felt good. the last song, i could taste blood. just goes to show that i am a crazy mother fucker and you're not. oh yeah i wear bitch pants. so sue me, mother fucker.
BIG FUCKING NEWS!
come.
so the show was good besides getting second place to a shitty band that only won due to the fact that it was their hometown. i didn't hear the fucking crowd singing their songs, but i did hear, and see, a majority of the crowd singing ALL of our songs... including one we haven't even released yet. fuck that place. but i thank God for great fans. hopefully it will be better in the future. i spazzed out and it felt good. the last song, i could taste blood. just goes to show that i am a crazy mother fucker and you're not. oh yeah i wear bitch pants. so sue me, mother fucker.
BIG FUCKING NEWS!
come.