give it up.
A good friend of mine is having some relationship trouble. He has a history of nasty breakups, and I'm worried that this one will turn out the same way if he doesn't just back off and break it off. I keep trying to explain to him that, from my perspective, he and his boyfriend have had some really good times together and he should try to focus on that. 99% of the time, relationships aren't meant to last forever, and it's only when you keep trying to make them work that they go bad and you end up not ever being friends again.
He just called me and was clearly pretty upset...he was mumbling about how he needed to go work out and think about things. I hope he does this right, because I don't want to be hearing about negative energy between them later on. This friend and I have a therapeutic sort of friendship. Every couple of weeks we have dinner and bitch about life in general. He spends a lot of time lamenting his past failed relationships, and I don't want this current one to end up that way because his boyfriend is actually a really great guy. He just keeps focusing on the little things that bug him that ultimately don't matter...but they help reinforce his generally negative world view.
The similarities and contrasts between this friend's and my world view are interesting to me. He's very cynical and mistrusting - a fan of conspiracy theories and Murphy's Law. I, on the other hand, prefer to identify as an incurable optimist. We both have the same favorite quote: "The power of accurate observation is commonly called 'cynicism' by those who have not got it." (G.B. Shaw) The difference, though, is that he chooses to focus on those irritating incongruities of life and let them affect his overall outlook, while I choose to accept them for what they are while doing my best to cultivate the more positive, enriching elements. We balance each other out pretty well when we spend time together, I think.
It kinda makes ya think.
He just called me and was clearly pretty upset...he was mumbling about how he needed to go work out and think about things. I hope he does this right, because I don't want to be hearing about negative energy between them later on. This friend and I have a therapeutic sort of friendship. Every couple of weeks we have dinner and bitch about life in general. He spends a lot of time lamenting his past failed relationships, and I don't want this current one to end up that way because his boyfriend is actually a really great guy. He just keeps focusing on the little things that bug him that ultimately don't matter...but they help reinforce his generally negative world view.
The similarities and contrasts between this friend's and my world view are interesting to me. He's very cynical and mistrusting - a fan of conspiracy theories and Murphy's Law. I, on the other hand, prefer to identify as an incurable optimist. We both have the same favorite quote: "The power of accurate observation is commonly called 'cynicism' by those who have not got it." (G.B. Shaw) The difference, though, is that he chooses to focus on those irritating incongruities of life and let them affect his overall outlook, while I choose to accept them for what they are while doing my best to cultivate the more positive, enriching elements. We balance each other out pretty well when we spend time together, I think.
It kinda makes ya think.