Subtle
tee...teehee... teeheeHeeHEEHAHAHAHAHFREAKINGHA!!!
So... Mrs. Turner... Mrs. Emily Turner... you know the one... she, uh, how do you say? Ah, yes. SHE FREAKING GOT ARRESTED TODAY!!!
And we're all very sad...wait. I can't even fake that one online. This is the best news I've heard all summer. This beats my birthday and Christmas combined. This beats... EVERYTHING. It may not beat the John Mayer concert... but it's a damn close call.
What did she get arrested for, you may ask? POSSESSION!!! Not just like she had a blunt or something. She impersonated her husband's ex-wife (FIRST ex-wife, teehee) to try and get her prescriptions... prescriptions she forged.
WOW, this sounds like I'm such a horrible person. Well, I'm not!!! I know most of you don't know this woman, but those of you who do, I know you are freaking laughing your asses off. This was the worst teacher in the history of the world. She talked incessantly about everyone, and that in itself... teachers gossiping is definitely TABOO. Like pain pills. Teehee. Anyway, back to Mrs. Turner. What else can I say? She was an evil bitch who has just now gotten a small bit of what she deserved. Speaking of bitch... she's so gonna be someone's bitch in like a week. HAHA. I hope she gets spit on. And made fun of by her other inmates. Lord knows she's gonna open her fat mouth and talk about them... then she'll get beat up. Oh, well!!! KARMA!!!
Final Thoughts... who will take John Thomas to the doctor EVERY DAY? Wait... I guess since she's not banging the doctor anymore, John Thomas doesn't need to go.
Guess now we know where the club money she stole went...