(no subject)
Last night I had a very bad night. Me and Joe were argueing.. again. I hate how he works so many hours, cause when he gets home and he talks to me he's all tired and in a bad mood I guess. He's been an asshole to me. But I know if I tell him that he will find some way to say everything is my fault, just like he always does. When will he realize that not everything is my fault? I know he's probably going to read this and get mad. But, this is how I feel, and this is my journal to talk about things like this in. It's like he doesn't even care about me anymore. I asked him why he doesn't care about me anymore and he just told me to leave him alone cause he wanted to go to sleep. He couldn't even tell me that he does care about me. I seriously think me and him will end up breaking up soon if we don't stop argueing like this. I wish he would stop taking his anger out on me. I really feel like he doesn't care if we break up or not. Last night he was like "well if your going to break up with me just do it instead of waiting any longer". He said it without any emotion. He doesn't care anymore...
Today I didn't want to think about what happened last night, so I tried to busy myself. I went for a walk at like 12:30. I'm trying to get back in shape. Then I came back here and watched Passions. Then I got in my bathing suit and sat on my back deck reading After Glow. I read like 5 chapters, then decided to get in the pool. I did 10 laps. I figured that's also a good way to get in shape. I never really go swimming anymore. I was surprised when I swam one lap under water and I was so out of breath. I used to be able to swim 2 and a half laps without having to come up for air. I need to work on that. After my laps I sat out in the sun a while longer. I got a little more tan :). After the sun started going back behind the trees I came in. I cleaned up a little, and now, here I am. I'm a little tired. I have to get used to excersizing again. I don't think I'm doing anything for the rest of the day. Probably just waiting for Joe to call, and thinking about what we're going to argue about today..
Today I didn't want to think about what happened last night, so I tried to busy myself. I went for a walk at like 12:30. I'm trying to get back in shape. Then I came back here and watched Passions. Then I got in my bathing suit and sat on my back deck reading After Glow. I read like 5 chapters, then decided to get in the pool. I did 10 laps. I figured that's also a good way to get in shape. I never really go swimming anymore. I was surprised when I swam one lap under water and I was so out of breath. I used to be able to swim 2 and a half laps without having to come up for air. I need to work on that. After my laps I sat out in the sun a while longer. I got a little more tan :). After the sun started going back behind the trees I came in. I cleaned up a little, and now, here I am. I'm a little tired. I have to get used to excersizing again. I don't think I'm doing anything for the rest of the day. Probably just waiting for Joe to call, and thinking about what we're going to argue about today..