(no subject)
The past month has been amazing! Yes, I have a shitty job, and I want to change my life around with grad school and a career, but that is probably the only thing I don't love about life right now.
I have seen so many old friends! Allie came down for a weekend, and we had a stupendous drunken fiasco with the party moving from the dining room to the kitchen, to the balcony to the bathroom, eventually to Beauty Bar, and then to the DFW airport where Allie dropped Sarah and I off to go to Orlando for 5 days!
The Wizarding World of Harry Potter with my best friend! We had butterbeer, rode every ride, and didn't even have to stand in line because it was the off season, a monday, and a cold front the night before made it 28 degrees with the wind chill. Totally the best time I have ever had in weather that cold. Showing sarah my hometown was so nice because now she has some idea of where I came from, and I really love the relationship sarah and I have, and want to make it more real. I think physical locations help with that. Memory making and memory recalling all in the same place. Also, because of the drunkeness that is allie visiting Dallas, I ended up reconnecting with Ryan.
Not awkward at all actually. I just remember thinking that I'm glad things ended up the way they did. I thin we had our time, and it was life-changing for me, but now that has passed, and we have both moved on. I don't think I was suppose to end up with him now. If only I could have convinced myself of this in 2007.
Speaking of which, it's now 2011. holy shit. This year is gonna be the best year of all!
NYE was another drunkfest with my first ever one night stand, which may turn into something else if I decided to contact him again. And now, it's January, I am finishing my Carnegie Mellon app this week, getting all my car identification changed over to texas, despite my hardest efforts to stay a floridian forever, and my birthday is in 2 weeks. Sometimes I think, my life is happening right now, this is a chapter I will look back on decades from now as 'the young years' but it's just the present now, and I wonder what regrets and what mistakes are upcoming, and what amazing moments I will never forget because they make me want to find out what happens next.
god that was sentimental, good thing I don't care about what anyone else thinks.
Most recently, some shit went down with Joel while he was on his trip to NYC. I don't know why I even give him the time of day anymore, I don't even have anger anymore because of how big an asshole he is, I simply understand that's what joel will be, not because that is who he is, but because that is who he wants/has made himself into. He just doesn't understand how his perception of reality changes reality. I don't even know what else to say but I shouldn't trust him, I shouldn't sleep with him, and I shouldn't even be there for him because he just takes me for granted and won't know what he has until I'm gone. *rolls eyes* I'm fed up, but I still pick up the phone at 4am. WHY, stephanie, WHY?!
here's to 2011, one of the last years of earth?
steph
I have seen so many old friends! Allie came down for a weekend, and we had a stupendous drunken fiasco with the party moving from the dining room to the kitchen, to the balcony to the bathroom, eventually to Beauty Bar, and then to the DFW airport where Allie dropped Sarah and I off to go to Orlando for 5 days!
The Wizarding World of Harry Potter with my best friend! We had butterbeer, rode every ride, and didn't even have to stand in line because it was the off season, a monday, and a cold front the night before made it 28 degrees with the wind chill. Totally the best time I have ever had in weather that cold. Showing sarah my hometown was so nice because now she has some idea of where I came from, and I really love the relationship sarah and I have, and want to make it more real. I think physical locations help with that. Memory making and memory recalling all in the same place. Also, because of the drunkeness that is allie visiting Dallas, I ended up reconnecting with Ryan.
Not awkward at all actually. I just remember thinking that I'm glad things ended up the way they did. I thin we had our time, and it was life-changing for me, but now that has passed, and we have both moved on. I don't think I was suppose to end up with him now. If only I could have convinced myself of this in 2007.
Speaking of which, it's now 2011. holy shit. This year is gonna be the best year of all!
NYE was another drunkfest with my first ever one night stand, which may turn into something else if I decided to contact him again. And now, it's January, I am finishing my Carnegie Mellon app this week, getting all my car identification changed over to texas, despite my hardest efforts to stay a floridian forever, and my birthday is in 2 weeks. Sometimes I think, my life is happening right now, this is a chapter I will look back on decades from now as 'the young years' but it's just the present now, and I wonder what regrets and what mistakes are upcoming, and what amazing moments I will never forget because they make me want to find out what happens next.
god that was sentimental, good thing I don't care about what anyone else thinks.
Most recently, some shit went down with Joel while he was on his trip to NYC. I don't know why I even give him the time of day anymore, I don't even have anger anymore because of how big an asshole he is, I simply understand that's what joel will be, not because that is who he is, but because that is who he wants/has made himself into. He just doesn't understand how his perception of reality changes reality. I don't even know what else to say but I shouldn't trust him, I shouldn't sleep with him, and I shouldn't even be there for him because he just takes me for granted and won't know what he has until I'm gone. *rolls eyes* I'm fed up, but I still pick up the phone at 4am. WHY, stephanie, WHY?!
here's to 2011, one of the last years of earth?
steph