Everything is falling apart
IT seems like I get everything figured out and then it just all comes crashing down. Everything was set we had our apartment, I got into a college in Ft. Myers. I could have easily gotten a job. Then you go and tell me nope thats not happening. I decided thats not what I want to do. Things are just so different these days. Do I love you, or am I in love with you, I just can't seem to figure it out. Now I have no idea what I'm going to do. I was so excited to get out of Michigan. I just can't handle hearing about certain things. And I hear about them everyday. I'm finally starting to break down about it. I just wish I would have heard it from you first. But no you never had the guts to tell me, you wanted to keep it from me. It makes feel a little better that I was told it probably wouldn't work and that it almost seems like you are forced. It makes me feel a little better knowing that you are miserable because so am I. I just wish that I could talk to you again. You know just about everything thats ever happened to me. You were there for me for almost all of high school. Now I don't even know you anymore and I don't think I could see you without wanting to hold you to kiss you, just like things used to be. But last september I relized that you could give two shits about me anymore that it is really truely over between me and you. Maybe one day we could be friends, I doubt it because I know deep down in my heart that I will always be in love with you. It just sucks so bad because I want to be able to have a great relationship, but I just can't because I can't give my whole heart away because you still have it.