(no subject)
I feel more and more like a child. Full of curiosity and lost in an adult world I can't quite grasp. Looking to my mother, father, boyfriend, one and the same figure in this semblence of a world. And i ask, "why? is there outer forces pressing people toward and further into depression? or is it solely from our own choices?" I saw my friend pass out, fall and hit her head on a doorway. So drunk, again, like usual. I saw friends rush to her aid, concerned faces talked of the best plan of action. I see the scars on her wrist, i see the pain in her face as she lays motionless on the floor. I feel she doesn't want to live anymore. I know she doesn't. All the people who surround her and love her and brush her hair from her face while calling her baby, sweetheart, love, cannot convince her she is worth anything at all. Backwards and mirrored and a skewed vision of hers is one we so often share. i wonder.... why?