(no subject)
a hole i cant seem to close
No haha I put on a good face it feels good
my tofu is burning
hot wax on my skin
the skin on my face curls and flakes in the cold
and my fingers shake and hurt
another dosage
my fingernail on my tongue
im tired of licking glass
im tired of leaving my finger prints
im tired of hot rings of body heat
I want to be there already
and I look in the mirror
something’s hot pressing on the back of my tongue
I cant see it I cant I cant open my eyelids
hot glue link my eyelashes to my cheek
my face is red from my fingernails
my chest hurts
its collapsing!!
A BROKEN BUILDING
I love it I love it candy candy candy
my pants pull down at my hips
and my elbows stretch out my shirt
like a tredactyl
they’ll never turn me into them
I keep trying to save myself like a baby
I want to be my baby I want to hold myself
and stroke my hair
and protect it from every thing that’s bad
there are eggs in my cheast
I feel the bumps I can feel the heat
that’s not mine
I tired to take a good picture of myself but I cant
I think im ugly
I have big breasts
I want them to go away
bit they are one of those things that you have to stick with
and deal with and hurt with
a canary
next time I have a cat in going to name it two
two is my favorite number.
I think I want to kill myself
or hurt myself
I feel like it but I know I shouldn’t
its pretty pathetic I know
but Im half way there
I kind of hate myself for being so alone
I kind of hate myself for hating so many people all at once
why cant I be happy and stupid like all the girls in the hallway
blocking my way to my locker
every fucking morning
I want to shove them and scream
I want to slap them across the face
grab their hair and bury their faces into the blue lockers
I wish I was more like bukowski
or at least the way he depicts himself
I hate the color blue
I don’t want to own any blue clothes or items
im going to throw away everything blue that I have
also I hate my dad
I hate him more than anything
I hate him and my aunt
and also my brother
I can hear my father banging on the door
I can hear his stubble and crippled face
I can see that busted vessel in his eye
the L shaped wrinkles on his forehead
his chipped front tooth
I hate him more than anything
I hate school
I hate everyone in school
I want to blow up the school
I want everyone to go away
I want to be alone all day
I never get to be alone
I want to get away from my family
and my friends
and stupid girls in the hall way
I need to be alone
I wish the garage wasn’t so cold
I think ill be there from now on
I want to pull the covers up to my chin
I want to be one with the dirt
I don’t have a good cd player
it fucks up
I hate it
I hate my anxiety attacks or whatever they are
my chest starts hurting and I cant breathe
I hate my father
im going to hurt myself im so tempted
No haha I put on a good face it feels good
my tofu is burning
hot wax on my skin
the skin on my face curls and flakes in the cold
and my fingers shake and hurt
another dosage
my fingernail on my tongue
im tired of licking glass
im tired of leaving my finger prints
im tired of hot rings of body heat
I want to be there already
and I look in the mirror
something’s hot pressing on the back of my tongue
I cant see it I cant I cant open my eyelids
hot glue link my eyelashes to my cheek
my face is red from my fingernails
my chest hurts
its collapsing!!
A BROKEN BUILDING
I love it I love it candy candy candy
my pants pull down at my hips
and my elbows stretch out my shirt
like a tredactyl
they’ll never turn me into them
I keep trying to save myself like a baby
I want to be my baby I want to hold myself
and stroke my hair
and protect it from every thing that’s bad
there are eggs in my cheast
I feel the bumps I can feel the heat
that’s not mine
I tired to take a good picture of myself but I cant
I think im ugly
I have big breasts
I want them to go away
bit they are one of those things that you have to stick with
and deal with and hurt with
a canary
next time I have a cat in going to name it two
two is my favorite number.
I think I want to kill myself
or hurt myself
I feel like it but I know I shouldn’t
its pretty pathetic I know
but Im half way there
I kind of hate myself for being so alone
I kind of hate myself for hating so many people all at once
why cant I be happy and stupid like all the girls in the hallway
blocking my way to my locker
every fucking morning
I want to shove them and scream
I want to slap them across the face
grab their hair and bury their faces into the blue lockers
I wish I was more like bukowski
or at least the way he depicts himself
I hate the color blue
I don’t want to own any blue clothes or items
im going to throw away everything blue that I have
also I hate my dad
I hate him more than anything
I hate him and my aunt
and also my brother
I can hear my father banging on the door
I can hear his stubble and crippled face
I can see that busted vessel in his eye
the L shaped wrinkles on his forehead
his chipped front tooth
I hate him more than anything
I hate school
I hate everyone in school
I want to blow up the school
I want everyone to go away
I want to be alone all day
I never get to be alone
I want to get away from my family
and my friends
and stupid girls in the hall way
I need to be alone
I wish the garage wasn’t so cold
I think ill be there from now on
I want to pull the covers up to my chin
I want to be one with the dirt
I don’t have a good cd player
it fucks up
I hate it
I hate my anxiety attacks or whatever they are
my chest starts hurting and I cant breathe
I hate my father
im going to hurt myself im so tempted