i infused his precious, precious pets with radioactive substances, intensifying their aggressive tendencies and, in some cases, tripling their growth potential. i then planted tape-players around his home, spewing forth recordings in which i whisper, ever so softly, all the evil schemes voegel was plotting against the animal and insect kingdoms, spoken in each of his pets' respective languages, hypnotizing them with the sweet spell of my voice until they were driven so mad with anger and betrayal that they attacked him, driven by the need to prevent harm to themselves before the harm or danger actually occurred and without a shred of proof of his intentions.
eventually, after voegel was dead, the arachnids and other creatures began to realize i had lied to them in order to get cheaper oil-i mean, to free them from the danger voegel was planning-and they started having committee meetings and stuff. i hope they don't kill me.
On the other hand, I object to the "pit bull" comment--pit bulls are not ruthless, single-minded killers with minds only for survival--not at all--as these spiders seem to be.
Well they did say aggressiveness but it does seem to portray a bad light on pit bulls. They are aggressive, but any ruthlessness or extremely violent behavior is for the most part, the fault of the owner due to training them for fights etc...
i wouldn't really call any of this 'aggressive' behavior. black widows aren't known to attack unprovoked, so the fatal bite was probably more accidental than anything.
the rest of the rather grotesque situation was probably a result of hunger. maybe some boredom. maybe they were just insatiably curious about the taste of human flesh, as i sometimes am. did i say that out loud? did anybody hear me? am i going to get beaten for this?
That is very scary, yesterday I woke up to see a wolf spider w/ all its babies on its back on the wall not 3 in from my head! And did you know that spiders can scream? Well the can! eghgsdfkhgkagf
Wow, this is crazy. Made me shudder. Though I have to agree with Kyofu and then also add that tarantulas don't spin webs. They like dig in the ground and do other icky things. :P
Comments 14
Reply
eventually, after voegel was dead, the arachnids and other creatures began to realize i had lied to them in order to get cheaper oil-i mean, to free them from the danger voegel was planning-and they started having committee meetings and stuff. i hope they don't kill me.
Reply
On the other hand, I object to the "pit bull" comment--pit bulls are not ruthless, single-minded killers with minds only for survival--not at all--as these spiders seem to be.
Reply
Reply
the rest of the rather grotesque situation was probably a result of hunger. maybe some boredom. maybe they were just insatiably curious about the taste of human flesh, as i sometimes am. did i say that out loud? did anybody hear me? am i going to get beaten for this?
Reply
Feel free to schedule an appointment and I shall find someone to oblige.
Reply
Reply
Reply
Reply
Some kinds might not, but there are some that do.
Reply
Leave a comment