(no subject)
I dont even know what to write, Matty's making me write this since I can't sleep. Tomorrow is graduation and I'm a mess. When Matty mike and me were on our way home from Banquet tonight, It really hit that we were graduating in less than 24 hours. I cant sleep now. All this chocolate I'm eatting will not help either. Today Matty picked me up and we got our cap and gowns with everyone. That was werid yet I was in denial. Like I always am, damn. Afterwards I went back to his house with Mike. We went in the pool and talked. I really miss hanging out with them. I hate how our group kinda split. So many things have changed in the past month I can barely keep up with it. After tomorrow I will not see a majority of the people I saw everyday for the past 12 years, well for some four years. I thought when I got home from school on the last day and cried for over an hour that I had come to terms with the fact that high school was over. Apparently not. Its really sad how high school was such a big part of my life. Middle school you couldn't pay me to get up and be happy about going there. High school, never complained, ever, for four years. It was my safety zone, my place I knew I could go to everyday and see faces that could easily change my day for the better and help me no matter what. Those people I grew to have relationships with and they became my family. No scratch that, they are my family. They help me through the worst of the times and the best of times. High school was the best four years of my life so far. I can never forget it. I'm growing up. As hard as that is to except, I can't wait. Yet part of me never wants to grow up. I want to be irresponsible, immature, and carefree. But I want to be older and all that shit too. Gahhhhhhhhh. What am I saying? I'm so excited for the future, yet I'm scared. I think I was just so distracted by the idea of graduation, that I never realized how much I was leaving behind. I took advantage of those days in school. Seeing the people I did, learning what I did, experiencing what I did. I've been doing things that I surprise myself by doing. Not in a bad way. Just so carefree and not giving a shit anymore. I have the idea in my head that life is too short. This is the most random entry ever. What the hell. This is what random typing at 1am will do to you. I have graduation rehearsal and all that shit in less than eight hours. Dear god. I'm not ready to say goodbye. It is times like these that I'm jealous of the juniors. You have a great year ahead of you, and it is going to go by so fast. Let all the petty shit go and have the time of your life. I feel like tomorrow night, I'm gonna sit through that whole ceremony, in complete denial. walk across the stage in complete denial, and throw my cap in the air in complete denial. Then i'm gonna get home, and realize that its all over. I can't continue this nonsense anymore. I'm done. I'm gonna go lay down and watch conan o'brien. Congrats to the class of 2006..how the hell did we do it.
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